Should I Stop Taking Care of My Exs Neglected Pet Snake?

A 28-year-old woman refused to keep playing full-time caretaker for her ex’s neglected pet snake, and honestly, that’s the part everyone is side-eyeing.

When she and her boyfriend lived together, he brought Monty into their home, but she ended up doing the real work, feeding him, cleaning his tank, and making sure he stayed healthy. After the breakup, he wants shared custody anyway, even though he rarely showed up for Monty during the relationship and now has even less time and interest.

Then he disappeared on a week-long trip, leaving Monty without food or water, and she had to rush over to fix the mess.

Original Post

So I'm a 28-year-old woman who recently broke up with my boyfriend of four years. As any couple that lived together, we shared responsibilities, including our pet snake, Monty.

My ex always had a fascination with snakes, so Monty was originally his idea. During our relationship, I ended up taking care of Monty more often, feeding him, cleaning his tank, and ensuring he was healthy.

Now, post-breakup, my ex insists that we continue to share custody of Monty, despite the fact that he rarely tended to him while we were together. For background, my ex works long hours and likes to be out with friends, so Monty often went unfed, with a dirty tank, and neglected.

I couldn't stand seeing Monty suffer, so I took charge of his care. Since the breakup, my ex doesn't have the time or interest to properly care for Monty, but he won't give up shared custody.

Recently, my ex went on a week-long trip, leaving Monty without food and water. I had to rush to his place to make sure Monty was okay.

I am tired of being the only one responsible for Monty's well-being when my ex neglects him. I feel guilty if I were to completely abandon Monty, but I feel equally resentful about being taken advantage of for his care.

So AITA for refusing to continue caring for my ex's neglected pet snake, given the circumstances? I love Monty, but I can't be the only one caring for him anymore.

I honestly don't know what the right thing to do is here.

The Weight of Shared Responsibility

This situation highlights the murky waters of shared pet ownership, especially post-breakup. The OP had taken on the bulk of Monty's care during their four-year relationship, which raises questions about fairness once the relationship ended. Her ex-boyfriend brought Monty into their lives, yet it was the OP who became the primary caregiver. Now, with their relationship in the rearview mirror, the expectation that she should continue caring for the snake feels not just burdensome but almost exploitative.

Readers can easily empathize with her dilemma. On one hand, there's the moral obligation towards an innocent creature in need, and on the other, the emotional toll of being tethered to an ex through a pet. This duality is what makes the debate so compelling.

She’s not just tired, she’s furious that Monty’s care became her default job while her ex treats it like optional background noise.

Comment from u/Busy_Bee_04

NTA. Your ex should take responsibility for his neglect of Monty. It's not fair for you to bear the burden alone. Poor snake deserves better care.

Comment from u/Dance_Monkey22

Girl, you're so NTA. Your ex sounds like a snake himself, neglecting poor Monty and expecting you to pick up the slack. Don't let him guilt-trip you into it.

Comment from u/SleepyPanda99

This situation is so messed up. Your ex is totally the AH here. Monty's well-being should come first, and your ex needs to step up or find a new home for the snake.

Comment from u/PizzaQueen_88

OMG, NTA at all. Your ex's neglect could harm Monty. He's being irresponsible and selfish. Stand your ground. Monty deserves better than that!

The custody argument turns nasty fast, because her ex wants “shared” responsibility without actually sharing the feeding or tank-cleaning.

Comment from u/Adventure_Man567

NTA. Your ex's lack of commitment to Monty's care is alarming. It's unfair for you to bear the brunt of his negligence. Don't let him manipulate you into shouldering all the responsibility.

Also, this echoes the AITA where someone refused to babysit a friend’s pet snake alone.

Comment from u/MusicLover_Gal

This is tough, but definitely NTA. Monty's welfare matters, and your ex needs to understand the importance of proper pet care. It's time for him to step up or find a better solution for Monty.

Comment from u/StarGazer99

NTA. Your ex needs a reality check. Monty's care is not a one-person job, especially when he's the one who originally wanted a pet snake. Stand your ground and prioritize Monty's well-being.

That week-long trip, where Monty went without food and water, is the moment the guilt and resentment start fighting each other in her head.

Comment from u/CoffeeAddict_22

Absolutely NTA. It's unfair for your ex to push Monty's care onto you while neglecting his responsibilities. You're doing the right thing by considering what's best for the snake's well-being.

Comment from u/SoccerMom_123

Your ex sounds like a real piece of work. NTA for wanting to ensure Monty's proper care and not wanting to enable your ex's neglectful behavior. Stand firm in prioritizing Monty's needs.

Comment from u/TechGuru_87

NTA. Your ex needs to step up, or Monty's quality of life will suffer. You're doing the right thing by recognizing the neglect and refusing to enable it any longer.

Now she’s stuck between abandoning a snake she loves and refusing to be the only person who shows up when Monty needs her.

We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

A Community Divided

The Reddit community's reaction to this post shows the stark divide in opinions about responsibility and emotional boundaries. Some users firmly supported the OP’s choice to step back, arguing that she shouldn't shoulder the burden of her ex's neglect. Others felt that abandoning Monty, even if it meant cutting ties with her ex, was unjustifiable. This split reveals a broader conversation about the responsibilities we take on in relationships and how they impact us after they end.

It's fascinating to see how people project their own experiences onto this situation. For some, Monty symbolizes an obligation that transcends personal feelings, while for others, it represents a chance to reclaim autonomy post-relationship. The nuanced perspectives illustrate just how complicated the emotional landscape can be when shared lives collide.

Final Thoughts

This story serves as a potent reminder of the complexities woven into post-breakup life, especially when pets are involved. The emotional stakes are high, with a living being at the center of a personal conflict, leaving many to ponder where responsibility ends and personal boundaries begin. As readers weigh in on this moral dilemma, it begs the question: how do we balance our compassion for animals with our right to move on from past relationships?

Why This Matters

The situation with Monty highlights the emotional complexity of shared pet ownership after a breakup. The woman in the story, having taken on the bulk of Monty's care during the relationship, now feels trapped by her ex's insistence on a one-sided shared custody arrangement. Given her ex's history of neglect—evidenced by leaving Monty unfed and uncared for during trips—it's understandable that she feels both guilt and resentment about continuing to shoulder this burden. This reflects a broader struggle many face when trying to balance responsibility toward an animal with the need to establish personal boundaries post-relationship.

Nobody wants to keep saving Monty’s life while her ex gets the benefits of “custody” without the work.

After your ex demands snake “custody,” read how one person refused a neglected reptile.