Should I Tell My Friends Their Blind Date Crushes? | Reddit Dilemma

A 28-year-old man thought he was doing his friend Alex a solid, but now he’s stuck holding the secret that could either make or break a real connection. The whole thing started as a fun blind date setup, with Sam and Alex both excited, both thinking they were just meeting a random person.

Here’s the messy part: Alex has been crushing on Sam for a while, dropping hints but too nervous to act. Meanwhile, OP decided to speed-run the romance by telling both of them there was someone interested, while hiding the identity of the other person. The date goes great, they click hard, and the surprise stays intact, which sounds cute until you realize they still do not know OP engineered the whole thing.

Now OP is wondering whether to reveal the truth and risk awkwardness, or keep quiet and let it all unravel naturally.

Original Post

So I'm (28M) part of a close-knit friend group where everyone knows everyone pretty well. Recently, my friend 'Alex' (26NB) has been crushing hard on 'Sam' (29F), who's another friend in our circle.

Alex has been dropping hints, but hasn't made a move yet due to nerves. Last week, I had this idea to set up a blind date for Alex and Sam without either of them knowing who the other person is.

I thought it could be a fun way for them to connect without the pressure of preconceived notions. So, I told Alex and Sam that I have a friend who's interested in meeting them but kept the identity a secret.

Both agreed to the blind date, excitedly. The night of the date comes, and it goes really well.

Alex and Sam hit it off, have a great time, and seem to be connecting on a deeper level. However, the surprise is still intact - they don't know they like each other yet.

Now, my dilemma is whether to reveal the truth and potentially spoil their budding relationship or keep it a secret, letting them discover the truth naturally. I don't want to betray their trust, but I also don't want to ruin what could be a great match.

So, WIBTA if I continue to keep their crushes a mystery, or should I come clean and risk awkwardness? Honestly torn on what to do.

Thoughts, Reddit?

The Risks of Playing Matchmaker

The OP’s decision to orchestrate a blind date between Alex and Sam is a classic case of good intentions gone awry. While the desire to spark romance is admirable, it raises questions about consent and transparency. Both Alex and Sam are left in the dark, not just about each other's feelings but also about the OP’s role in their budding relationship. This lack of transparency can lead to feelings of betrayal if either party finds out they were set up without their knowledge.

What's more, the OP’s motivation might stem from a fear of rejection for both friends. But by stepping in so boldly, they risk complicating friendships that could be damaged if the date doesn't go as planned. It’s a tightrope walk that many can relate to, but the potential fallout could create more drama than romance.

OP’s “fun surprise” plan works perfectly on date night, because Alex and Sam hit it off without any clue it was orchestrated.

Comment from u/SushiLover92

Wow, what a tangled web you've spun! I get that you meant well but, not revealing their crushes could lead to a mess later on. Communication is key here. YWBTA if you keep this up without their consent.

Comment from u/RainbowDreamer77

OP, this is like a rom-com plot come to life! But seriously, secrets have a way of blowing up. It's better to be honest now before things get complicated. They deserve to know the truth. YTA if you keep prolonging the reveal.

That’s when the tension kicks in, since Alex is still unaware Sam is the exact person they’ve both been circling in the friend group.

Comment from u/coffeeguru123

This is a tough spot, OP. While your intentions were good, not disclosing the truth might backfire. It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Be upfront, not the A-hole.

It also mirrors the “Sam and my crush” twist from the friend who accidentally set up with their crush.

Comment from u/MusicLover42

Oh boy, you've stepped into a romantic minefield, OP. The longer you wait, the messier it could get. It's time for the big reveal. Communication is the key to any successful relationship. Don't drag this out, friend.

Then comes the real fear, OP worries that telling them they were set up will feel like a betrayal more than a romantic twist.

Comment from u/AdventureSeeker99

This is like a modern-day matchmaking debacle!

What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.

And if OP keeps the secret going, the date could turn into something serious, right up until the moment someone finds out the blind date wasn’t random.

This story resonates because it taps into the universal struggle of navigating friendships and romantic interests.

The Bottom Line

This dilemma highlights the delicate balance between friendship and romance, and it raises important questions about how much interference is acceptable in the pursuit of love. As readers reflect on the OP's situation, they might consider their own experiences with matchmaking and the consequences that can follow. Would you risk your friendships to play matchmaker, or do you think honesty is the best policy?

What It Comes Down To

In this situation, the original poster's (OP) decision to set up a blind date for Alex and Sam reflects a common desire to play the role of a romantic facilitator, driven by the hope of fostering a connection between two friends with unspoken feelings. However, this well-intentioned act raises ethical concerns about the lack of transparency; both Alex and Sam are unaware of the OP's involvement and their mutual crushes, which could lead to feelings of betrayal if discovered. The OP's fear of rejection for both friends might have pushed them to orchestrate the blind date, but it also complicates the dynamics of their friendships, highlighting the risks inherent in matchmaking without consent.

He’s not just managing a crush anymore, he’s managing the fallout if Alex and Sam realize they were played.

Before you set up Alex and Sam, read why one person asked “should I play matchmaker?”