Should I Tell My Partners Ex About Our Pregnancy Before He Does?

Some couples plan a pregnancy announcement like it’s a cute little photo shoot, but OP’s situation is already feeling like a ticking clock with someone else in the room. She and her boyfriend were thrilled when they found out, and they immediately started talking about the future together.

The catch, his ex Sarah is not some distant ex you never think about. They share an 8-year-old daughter and keep things civil, so when boyfriend says he wants to tell Sarah first, OP understands. The problem is, weeks are passing, he keeps putting it off, and OP is stuck holding the news while her friends and family are basically waiting behind a locked door.

And now OP is wondering if she should step in and tell Sarah herself before he finally does.

Original Post

I (29F) have been dating my boyfriend (33M) for over a year now. He has a daughter (8F) from a previous relationship.

His ex, Sarah, and him have a civil co-parenting relationship. Recently, we found out that I'm pregnant.

We were ecstatic and started planning our future together. My boyfriend mentioned that he wanted to tell Sarah about the pregnancy before she hears it elsewhere, which I completely understand.

However, he's been procrastinating on having this conversation for weeks due to his workload and other commitments. I'm starting to feel the impact of not being able to share this news with close friends and family as we wait for him to talk to Sarah.

I'm also concerned about Sarah finding out from someone else, which may strain their co-parenting dynamic. I mentioned to my partner that perhaps it's time for me to reach out to Sarah since it's important for everyone to know.

He got upset, stating that this is his responsibility and that I shouldn't interfere in his relationship with his ex. I understand his perspective, but I can't help feeling that we're delaying a significant announcement due to his inaction.

So, WIBTA if I inform Sarah about our pregnancy before my partner has the chance to tell her?

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This echoes the AITA fight where someone told their partner about pregnancy after families.

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OP is watching the pregnancy news sit in her chest while her boyfriend keeps delaying the Sarah conversation, even though Sarah is tied to their daily life through their 8-year-old daughter.

The moment OP suggests she reach out anyway, her boyfriend flips it into “his responsibility,” and suddenly the co-parenting plan turns into a power struggle.

Every week of procrastination raises the same nightmare, Sarah finding out through someone else and the already-civil dynamic getting weird fast.

Now OP is stuck between protecting the relationship between Sarah and her boyfriend, and not letting the pregnancy announcement become a “wait forever” situation.

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.

If Sarah hears it from someone else, OP and her boyfriend might both be stuck cleaning up the fallout.

Before you talk to Sarah, see how Reddit reacted to a friend’s ex-boyfriend pregnancy secret.