Should I Tell My Sister That Her Fiancé Hit on Me?

A 29-year-old woman is stuck between two loyalties after her sister’s fiancé, Mark, made a move on her at a family gathering.

Now her sister, 27, is engaged to Mark and genuinely adores him. The catch is her sister has always been sensitive about romance because of past heartbreak, plus their whole family is traditional and has high expectations for the “right” husband. OP is trying to decide whether to blow up the engagement with the truth, or keep quiet and risk letting this happen again.

The family dinner did not end well, and it’s only getting more tense as the wedding gets closer.

Original Post

So I'm (29F) and my sister (27F) has been dating this guy, let's call him Mark (31M), for a year now and recently got engaged. Mark and I have always gotten along well, he seemed like a decent guy, and I was happy for my sister.

However, about a month ago, Mark and I were alone at a family gathering and he made a pass at me, implying he had feelings beyond friendship.

I've been struggling with whether to tell my sister about this. On one hand, she deserves to know the truth about her fiancé and make an informed decision about their relationship.

On the other hand, revealing this information could devastate her, potentially break them up, and cause a huge rift in our family dynamics. For background, my sister adores Mark and has always been sensitive about her romantic relationships due to past heartbreaks.

Our family is quite traditional, and they have high expectations for her future husband. I haven't seen any other red flags in Mark's behavior towards my sister, and I genuinely believe he may have made a mistake in a moment of weakness.

But then again, can I trust him not to do this again? I'm torn between loyalty to my sister and the potential fallout from exposing Mark's actions.

So AITA?

Family Loyalty vs. Honesty

This story dives deep into the murky waters of family loyalty and honesty.

That awkward moment at the gathering is still sitting in OP’s head, especially because it happened when Mark and OP were alone.

Comment from u/GamerGal24

NTA, that's a tough situation. Your loyalty should lie with your sister, she deserves to know the truth even if it's hard. Imagine if roles were reversed, wouldn't you want her to tell you?

Comment from u/CatLover99

OMG, this is a huge mess. YTA if you keep quiet. She's about to marry this guy, and if he did it to you, who else is he hitting on? Tell her before it's too late!

Comment from u/coffeebean88

Yikes, OP, this is a tough spot. NTA for wanting to protect your sister, but honestly, she deserves to know the truth. It might hurt now, but better than discovering it later.

Comment from u/AdventureSeeker13

That's a tough call. ESH, Mark for hitting on you, you for not telling your sister. She's your family, she needs to know what kind of guy he really is before committing to marriage.

Meanwhile, Mark is out here acting like the perfect fiancé to OP’s sister, the same sister who is already emotionally sensitive about relationships.

Comment from u/PizzaIsLife42

Ngl, this is a sticky situation. Still, YTA if you don't tell your sister. Secrets like this have a way of coming out, and it's better she knows from you than finding out later.

It’s a lot like the OP weighing loyalty to conservative parents versus sibling trust over a secret relationship.

Comment from u/SunnyDaisy

Oof, what a dilemma. If it were me, I'd want to know the truth even if it hurts. Be honest with your sister, she deserves to make an informed decision about her future. NTA.

Comment from u/AnonymousDreamer

This is like a soap opera, wow. Honesty is key in relationships, even family ones. YTA if you don't tell her. Imagine if the roles were reversed, would you want her to tell you?

The biggest fear is that telling the truth could shatter everything, not just the engagement, but the whole family vibe.

Comment from u/MusicJunkie79

NTA, but tread carefully. Your sister's happiness is at stake here. It's a tough spot to be in, but ultimately, the truth usually comes out. It's better she knows before the wedding.

Comment from u/RandomThoughts23

What a mess! Mark is a major AH here for putting you in this position. Your loyalty should be to your sister, she deserves the truth. It won't be easy, but she needs to know. NTA.

Comment from u/ZenMaster2000

Tough call, but honesty is crucial in family relationships. YTA if you keep this from your sister. Imagine if she found out later that you knew and didn't tell her. Be honest, even if it's hard.

And that’s why the question of “should I tell her” keeps getting louder, with OP weighing loyalty to her sister against the risk Mark repeats the same behavior.

We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

The Fallout of Betrayal

The OP’s consideration of the potential consequences of revealing Mark's advances adds another layer of complexity. If she chooses silence, she may feel complicit in a betrayal that could escalate later. But if she speaks up, she risks losing her sister's trust or her sister’s relationship altogether. This tension is palpable, and it’s no wonder that readers are divided on what the right course of action is.

What makes this a compelling read is the unpredictable nature of familial relationships. People are often torn between wanting to protect loved ones and the fear of becoming the villain in someone else's story. This moral gray area is where many find themselves, making the OP's conflict relatable and sparking a passionate debate among readers about the right way to handle such a delicate situation.

This story is a stark reminder that honesty and loyalty can often be at odds, especially when familial ties are involved. The OP's struggle to decide whether to reveal her sister's fiancé's actions poses an interesting question: how should we prioritize loyalty to family versus the obligation to be honest? Readers are left wondering what they would do in her shoes. Would you risk your sister's happiness for the sake of truth, or would you choose to stay silent to maintain family harmony? It's a tough call, and the discussions this story sparks are sure to continue.

What It Comes Down To

This situation illustrates the intense conflict between loyalty and honesty that many people face in family dynamics. The OP feels torn because, while Mark's behavior toward her was inappropriate, he hasn't shown any other red flags in his relationship with her sister. The stakes are high; revealing this information could protect her sister from heartbreak but also risk damaging their relationship and family ties. It's a complex balancing act where neither choice feels entirely right, reflecting the moral gray areas that often complicate familial relationships.

OP isn’t just deciding whether to talk, she’s deciding whether her sister walks into marriage with the blindfold still on.

Before you confront Mark, see why one OP hid wedding plans from an estranged father.