SIL Fools Redditor Into Thinking Their Mother Has Died, Refuses To Forgive Her Even After The Actual Death

"I spent the next day in the hospital watching her slowly die while seething about being told a massive lie."

It's really frustrating when your own family tells you things that aren't true. Take this situation with a Redditor, for example.

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Their mom was taken off life support, and their sister-in-law called to say their mom had already passed away. However, when they rushed to the hospital, they found out their mom was still alive, just off life support.

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It's truly understandable how this kind of situation can make one feel angry and upset—even if the sister-in-law just misunderstood what "being taken off life support" meant. The Redditor must have been devastated by the false news of their mom's death, only to discover a completely different story when they got to the hospital.

Dealing with this kind of situation can be really tough—it not only brings up intense emotions because you think you've lost a loved one, but it also damages the trust you have in your family. In-laws or not, they are supposed to be a source of support and honesty, so when that trust is broken, it's really painful.

Rebuilding that trust can take a long time, and we understand how the Redditor can feel petty after this incident. They took the story to the online platform to ask if they were, in fact, the a-hole in this whole mess, since they refuse to make amends with their sister-in-law even after the actual death of their mom.

Just take a look at the story...

At a spark-free workplace, phones are locked away, but eight weeks ago, OP discovered 13 missed calls and urgent messages from their brothers when they finally accessed their phone.

At a spark-free workplace, phones are locked away, but eight weeks ago, OP discovered 13 missed calls and urgent messages from their brothers when they finally accessed their phone.Reddit
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Upon speaking to their sister-in-law, OP was shocked to learn their mother had passed away following a routine operation, struggling to contact their brothers at the hospital due to poor reception.

Upon speaking to their sister-in-law, OP was shocked to learn their mother had passed away following a routine operation, struggling to contact their brothers at the hospital due to poor reception.Reddit
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After a lengthy journey to the hospital, OP found their mother and brothers in the ICU, where oxygen was being administered, and were startled when their mother's hands moved, briefly making them fear she was a zombie.

After a lengthy journey to the hospital, OP found their mother and brothers in the ICU, where oxygen was being administered, and were startled when their mother's hands moved, briefly making them fear she was a zombie.Reddit

The Impact of Deception on Relationships

This article underscores the emotional ramifications of deception within families. Research shows that dishonesty can significantly erode trust, leading to feelings of betrayal and anger.

In this case, the Redditor’s experience illustrates how being misled about a loved one’s health can trigger profound emotional responses, as highlighted by Dr. John Gottman's findings on emotional responses in relationships.

Understanding these dynamics is crucial in navigating family relationships.

OP discovered that their mother's condition had worsened post-operation, leading to the decision to remove life support.

Watching her slowly pass away, they grappled with the anger of being deceived.

OP discovered that their mother's condition had worsened post-operation, leading to the decision to remove life support.Reddit

OP's SIL wanted to hug them at the funeral, but OP politely declined. They then shook everyone's hands except hers—which led her to become upset.

OP's SIL wanted to hug them at the funeral, but OP politely declined. They then shook everyone's hands except hers—which led her to become upset.Reddit

Here's what people have to say...

Here's what people have to say...Reddit

The subsequent grief over the mother’s actual death can compound feelings of anger and confusion due to the initial deception. According to studies in the American Journal of Psychiatry, emotional dysregulation often occurs in response to traumatic experiences.

Recognizing the interplay between grief and betrayal can help individuals process their emotions more effectively.

This situation highlights the importance of addressing both the loss and the deceit in healing.

Oh, so there's that.

Oh, so there's that.Reddit

But news flash, unfortunately, she did actually die.

But news flash, unfortunately, she did actually die.Reddit

Good for you, OP!

Good for you, OP!Reddit

Coping with Betrayal and Loss

Experiencing betrayal from family members can lead to significant emotional distress. According to Dr. Susan David, a renowned psychologist and author, "Betrayal can create a profound sense of loss and isolation, which often exacerbates feelings of anxiety." This distress can complicate the grieving process, making it challenging to navigate feelings of sadness and anger simultaneously. Understanding these reactions is vital for emotional healing, as highlighted by Dr. Michele Gelfand, who states, "Recognizing the emotional turmoil that comes with betrayal is the first step towards recovery."

An EAP could be their Bat-signal to summon some mental health support and tackle the grief monster.

An EAP could be their Bat-signal to summon some mental health support and tackle the grief monster.Reddit

Having completed a mental health responder course and experienced personal loss, OP has become a valuable source of support for five colleagues coping with bereavement.

Having completed a mental health responder course and experienced personal loss, OP has become a valuable source of support for five colleagues coping with bereavement.Reddit

We're sorry, OP.

We're sorry, OP.Reddit

To cope with such complex emotions, engaging in therapy can be beneficial. Therapeutic interventions can help individuals process feelings of anger, sadness, and betrayal, promoting healing.

Additionally, fostering a support network of friends or support groups can provide validation and understanding during this difficult time.

Practicing self-compassion and allowing oneself to grieve can also aid in the healing process.

Just a dash of misguided concern.

Just a dash of misguided concern.Reddit

It's likely not malicious, but she might have a tendency toward "Main Character Syndrome."

It's likely not malicious, but she might have a tendency toward Reddit

Grief can be like an unwelcome guest, and sometimes, anger is just a temporary distraction from its presence.

Grief can be like an unwelcome guest, and sometimes, anger is just a temporary distraction from its presence.Reddit

Recognizing toxicity is a valuable skill.

Recognizing toxicity is a valuable skill.Reddit

During times of loss, one can often realize the importance of severing toxic connections.

During times of loss, one can often realize the importance of severing toxic connections.Reddit

Sometimes, it's about offering a helping hand, even when they've already made up their mind.

Sometimes, it's about offering a helping hand, even when they've already made up their mind.Reddit

Oops.

Oops.Reddit

Maybe it was just all a misinterpretation?

Maybe it was just all a misinterpretation?Reddit

Seems like everyone's tossing around buzzwords these days...

Seems like everyone's tossing around buzzwords these days...Reddit

They both went through a lot, and it's clear there were good intentions on both sides.

They both went through a lot, and it's clear there were good intentions on both sides.Reddit

OP seems to not be backing down, though.

OP seems to not be backing down, though.Reddit

A probable misunderstanding.

A probable misunderstanding.Reddit

So it's not a one-hit wonder...

So it's not a one-hit wonder...Reddit

We hope this will be clarified for the sake of both of them!

We hope this will be clarified for the sake of both of them!Reddit

Right...

Right...Reddit

Yeah, that was a pretty bad thing to be told.

Yeah, that was a pretty bad thing to be told.Reddit

What did the SIL do in the past that makes OP swear they were truly lying?

What did the SIL do in the past that makes OP swear they were truly lying?Reddit

"Misplace your anger all you want."

Reddit

Give her the benefit of the doubt this time, OP.

Give her the benefit of the doubt this time, OP.Reddit

It seems SIL has booked a one-way ticket to the Land of Unsolicited Opinions.

It seems SIL has booked a one-way ticket to the Land of Unsolicited Opinions.Reddit

Technically...

Technically...Reddit

Best of luck, OP.

Best of luck, OP.Reddit

More info needed!

More info needed!Reddit

It's unclear whether she intentionally lied or simply misunderstood.

It's unclear whether she intentionally lied or simply misunderstood.Reddit

We do understand how OP felt, though.

We do understand how OP felt, though.Reddit

A lot of emotions are making people's minds go haywire here...

A lot of emotions are making people's minds go haywire here...Reddit

Understanding can be the key to resolving the tension.

Understanding can be the key to resolving the tension.Reddit

It might be worth investigating her reasoning.

It might be worth investigating her reasoning.Reddit

Does the delay in death count as a reason to get mad?

Does the delay in death count as a reason to get mad?Reddit

It seems like the commenters are divided—but one thing is clear: there appears to be a lot of misunderstanding from both sides of the story. However, we may never know the sister-in-law's true intentions for saying that if she and OP don't have a proper conversation!

Who do you think is in the wrong? Comment down your thoughts, or share this article for all your family and friends to see!

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates the profound impact that deception can have on familial relationships. The emotional fallout from both betrayal and loss can lead to complicated feelings of anger and sadness.

Encouraging open dialogue about these feelings is crucial in navigating the healing process.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, navigating the emotional landscape of deception and loss requires a nuanced understanding of the psychological implications. Research indicates that processing feelings of betrayal and grief is essential for healing.

Ultimately, fostering understanding and support can facilitate emotional recovery and healthier family dynamics.

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