Divorced Mom Refuses To Reduce Work To Part Time Because She Needs The Money, Her Mom Insists Because She’s Done Doing Babysitting
"I need to be more available to my kids"
A 28-year-old divorced mom refused to cut her hours down to part-time, even though her mom was begging her to. And honestly, it’s the kind of family argument that sounds petty until you realize it’s really about money, childcare, and who is allowed to say no.
OP has two young kids, needs the income, and keeps getting hit with the same pushback from her mother: reduce work, lean on grandma’s help, and stop turning retirement into a never-ending babysitting shift. OP tried to make it easier by offering to have her kids sit with her at the office, but her mom still thinks OP is doing overtime just to wear her out, basically using her as free childcare since she “can’t say no.”
Now it’s not just a work schedule dispute, it’s a “who owes who” fight that could change how the whole household functions.
The price of a used car is practically the same as a brand new car
Reddit/fl0radadadaIt’s hard looking after two young ones
Reddit/fl0radadadaOP even offered to have her kids sit with her in the office
Reddit/fl0radadada
OP’s offer to have the kids at her office is the first olive branch, and it still doesn’t land with her mom.
Financial Stress and Parenting Dynamics
The challenge of balancing work and parenting responsibilities can lead to significant stress, often exacerbated by financial constraints.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:
Here’s what makes me TA. I disregarded her suggestion to go down to part-time. And now, to be petty, I’ve taken on extra overtime opportunities, which leads to more money in my pocket/savings.She is obviously not happy with that and says I’m just doing this to tire her out and to use her as a free babysitter since she can’t say no to watching my kids. I also feel like I’m TA because my kids are absolutely my responsibility, and I need to figure out a plan for them that doesn’t involve relying on my parents to save me, lol.
And the comments from other Redditors roll in...
Reddit/fl0radadada
Don't be so hard on yourself
Reddit/fl0radadada
The OP should check into government programs
Reddit/fl0radadada
The moment OP ignores the suggestion to go part-time, her mom flips from concerned to convinced she’s being used.
Also, this echoes the rent standoff when one friend lost a job and others debated unequal splitting.
In many cases, societal expectations compound these pressures, where single parents often feel the burden of being both caregiver and provider.
Understanding these societal pressures can help individuals navigate their challenges and advocate for their needs within their family structure.
Why wouldn't OP's mom want that for her?
Reddit/fl0radadada
It's not that she's being taken advantage of
Reddit/fl0radadada
OP's kids are her responsibility
Reddit/fl0radadada
When OP starts taking extra overtime “to be petty,” the grandparents’ love turns into a tug-of-war over childcare boundaries.
Exploring Work-Life Balance Solutions
Implementing boundaries around work hours can also help mitigate stress and provide more emotional availability for children.
The OP should reduce the stress on her mom
Reddit/fl0radadada
By the time Redditors weigh in, the real drama is whether OP can keep working without turning her parents’ retirement into an obligation.
The OP is grateful for her mother and father, as they love being grandparents. She also mentioned that her two kids will be their only grandkids since she doesn’t have any siblings.
She is also willing to face the repercussions from her job so her mom can enjoy her retirement. Redditors made their decision, and no AHs were found in the story.
It's important for parents to engage in self-reflection about their roles and expectations, which can help them prioritize their own well-being alongside their children's needs.
Encouraging open communication within the family about needs and expectations can foster a supportive environment for all members.
In the story of the divorced mom who refuses to reduce her work hours, the struggle to balance employment and parenting is laid bare. The emotional toll of divorce is compounded by financial pressures, highlighting the necessity for working parents to find a sustainable equilibrium. The mother's determination to maintain her full-time job reflects a reality many face: the need for financial independence often clashes with the desire for more time with children. Meanwhile, her mother's insistence on stepping back from babysitting underscores a generational shift in expectations around parenting responsibilities. This dynamic illustrates the importance of open communication and support systems, which are vital for creating a healthier family environment amidst the challenges of single parenthood.
The fight isn’t about part-time versus overtime, it’s about whether grandma’s “help” is love or unpaid labor.
Want another money-fight? See what happened when a household argued over adjusting the bill split.