Divorced Mom Refuses To Reduce Work To Part Time Because She Needs The Money, Her Mom Insists Because She’s Done Doing Babysitting

Divorce is awful, and there are times when it cannot be avoided. You may be certain that it's the best decision for you and your family, but it's still not the outcome that anyone had in mind when they saw you hold a bouquet and exchange rings in front of God, the caterers, and all of your friends.

Life becomes more difficult for you, your children, and their other parent after even the nicest divorce—and divorce is far too often the antithesis of friendly. Nevertheless, divorce represents optimism for many women—a declaration that they believe a better future is ahead of them—if they can persevere through the challenging transitions. 

 Meet up/fl0radadada, the original poster of today's story, who moved back into her parents' house after leaving an abusive marriage. The OP was able to find a full-time job where she could work from home and avoid commuting.

"During my past relationship, I was a stay-at-home mom while my ex took care of the bills, only to find out he wasn’t paying for my car note, so my car got repossessed. Now, I have to start from scratch and save up for a car," the OP writes.

OP's parents were the ones watching her kids until her mom told her to consider working part-time to reduce the strain on her and spend more time with her children. It wasn't economically feasible, but her mom still maintained her stance. Read the full story as you scroll down below.

The price of a used car is practically the same as a brand new car

Reddit/fl0radadada

It’s hard looking after two young ones

Reddit/fl0radadada

OP even offered to have her kids sit with her in the office

Reddit/fl0radadada

Financial Stress and Parenting Dynamics

The challenge of balancing work and parenting responsibilities can lead to significant stress, often exacerbated by financial constraints.

Dr. Michelle K. Harris from the University of California, Berkeley, explains that financial stress is a common trigger for relational conflict, as it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and resentment.

Research shows that when parents feel they must choose between work and family, it can create intense emotional strain, resulting in strained relationships and reduced parenting satisfaction.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

Here’s what makes me TA. I disregarded her suggestion to go down to part-time. And now, to be petty, I’ve taken on extra overtime opportunities, which leads to more money in my pocket/savings.She is obviously not happy with that and says I’m just doing this to tire her out and to use her as a free babysitter since she can’t say no to watching my kids. I also feel like I’m TA because my kids are absolutely my responsibility, and I need to figure out a plan for them that doesn’t involve relying on my parents to save me, lol.

And the comments from other Redditors roll in...

Reddit/fl0radadada

Don't be so hard on yourself

Reddit/fl0radadada

The OP should check into government programs

Reddit/fl0radadada

In many cases, societal expectations compound these pressures, where single parents often feel the burden of being both caregiver and provider.

Studies published in the American Journal of Sociology indicate that societal norms can influence how individuals perceive their roles in the family, leading to increased stress when these roles are not fulfilled.

Understanding these societal pressures can help individuals navigate their challenges and advocate for their needs within their family structure.

Why wouldn't OP's mom want that for her?

Reddit/fl0radadada

It's not that she's being taken advantage of

Reddit/fl0radadada

OP's kids are her responsibility

Reddit/fl0radadada

Exploring Work-Life Balance Solutions

To improve work-life balance, experts recommend creating a structured schedule that includes dedicated family time, allowing parents to be fully present without work distractions.

Implementing boundaries around work hours can also help mitigate stress and provide more emotional availability for children.

Additionally, exploring community resources or support groups can provide single parents with valuable emotional support and practical assistance.

The OP should reduce the stress on her mom

Reddit/fl0radadada

The OP is grateful for her mother and father, as they love being grandparents. She also mentioned that her two kids will be their only grandkids since she doesn’t have any siblings.

She is also willing to face the repercussions from her job so her mom can enjoy her retirement. Redditors made their decision, and no AHs were found in the story.

It's important for parents to engage in self-reflection about their roles and expectations, which can help them prioritize their own well-being alongside their children's needs.

Research indicates that when parents take time for self-care and personal pursuits, they are often more effective and satisfied in their parenting roles.

Encouraging open communication within the family about needs and expectations can foster a supportive environment for all members.

Psychological Analysis

This scenario serves as a reminder of the complexities that single parents face in managing both work and family responsibilities.

From our perspective, recognizing the need for self-care and support is essential in navigating these challenges while fostering healthy parenting relationships.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, addressing the pressures of balancing work and parenting is crucial for maintaining emotional well-being.

According to Dr. Madeline Levine, a renowned child psychologist, "Effective parenting requires not only emotional support but also the ability to manage practical challenges." By implementing strategies for work-life balance and fostering open communication, parents can create a healthier family dynamic.