He Says Seeing His Kids 12 Days A Month Is “Exhausting” - Now His Girlfriend Is Thinking About Walking Away

Some relationships start with study sessions and shared laughs, then quietly turn into a full-on emotional workout. In this Reddit story, OP’s new boyfriend is already talking about burnout from seeing his kids 12 days a month, and what should be a tough conversation turns into a fight about who “gets it.”

The complications stack fast: OP is a single mom to her son, her split happened during pregnancy, and she’s only been dating this guy for a little over a month after his divorce and another short relationship. Meanwhile, he’s exhausted, he’s complaining, and when OP responds with “change your attitude” instead of pure empathy, he accuses her of not understanding him. Now she’s stuck wondering if her perspective is skewed by her own harder reality.

Here’s the full story.

The OP writes...

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He became annoyed at a certain point

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The final part

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That’s when OP’s boyfriend’s “seeing the kids is exhausting” rant collides with her habit of pushing for solutions instead of comfort.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

(1) when my bf was complaining about burnout surrounding time with kids, i told him he needs to find ways to enjoy it and change his attitude instead of providing emotional support (2) after he accused me of not getting it, i'm thinking that perhaps i really am not seeing his side of things well enough. by default, i think my situation is much tougher so if i can do it, he definitely can, but i'm wondering if i'm missing some perspetive here

And the comments roll in...

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He gets kids free days

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This Redditor just had to ask

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What a story

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After he calls her out for not getting it, the whole “12 days a month” detail stops sounding like a schedule and starts sounding like a scoreboard.

This also echoes the fight between a coworker who’s always late and the person asked to keep covering.

OP tries to compare struggles, pointing out she’s already been surviving as a full-time single parent, but he hears judgment, not solidarity.

The OP disclosed how they met

We met about two years ago through uni, we've been mostly study buddies at first then became closer friends. He told me about the divorce about a little over a year ago. And the whole relationship thing is very fresh, only over a month in. Idk if its relevant but between the divorce and me he's also been in another short relationship. I haven't been in any since I split with my son's dad, at the beginning of the pregnancy, about 2.5 years ago.

And the comments continues...

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A giant red flag

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The exhaustion

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Being called out

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And with their relationship only a month old, his burnout and her defensiveness turn a small argument into a real “walk away” moment.

In the end, this isn’t really about who has it harder or whose reaction was more justified. It’s about how quickly two tired people can miss each other when they’re both carrying invisible weight.

The OP may have led with solutions when her partner needed empathy. He may have reacted from a place of feeling judged rather than supported, but what this situation has shown is that resilience can sometimes look like dismissal to someone who copes differently.

And feeling overwhelmed doesn’t require equal circumstances to be valid. OP's years as a full-time single parent have shaped her to endure and adapt.

Her partner's experience of burnout is shaped by his own limits, expectations, and emotions. Neither reality cancels the other out.

He might be tired of the kids, but she’s starting to feel tired of the fight.

Still dealing with ethical pressure at home and work? See how an employee boycotted a mandatory event.