Younger Sister Expects Perfection From Everyone Around Her, Older Sister Shows Her Reality Then Gets Called B*tch

If humans were perfect, we'd probably be meeting other people's expectations and vice versa. Unfortunately, we are all imperfect beings.

But believe it or not, there are some people out there who expect those around them to be perfect. These individuals can become very attached to their expectations, which can cloud their perception of what’s actually happening.

This mindset might prevent them from taking action or choosing what’s best for themselves. Studies have shown that we’re not always great at predicting how we’ll feel in different situations.

For instance, in one study, couples who had just gotten married believed they’d be happier (or at least as happy) over the next four years. However, what actually happened was that their happiness tended to decrease during that time.

In today's post, we'll look at the story of a person who doesn't seem to understand that people cannot be perfect for her sake. Over at the "Am I The A**hole?" (AITA) subreddit, an older sister shares her experience with her younger sister, who has lost her friends due to a lack of contact.

The younger sister appears to have a pattern of cutting people off for what her older sister perceives as minor reasons. For instance, she had no contact with their parents due to their divorce when they were young.

She also cut off her older sister over a pet incident and her former best friend because of a mistaken assumption. Even her ex-boyfriend faced the same fate for attending his grandmother's funeral instead of being with Kay.

When her older sister gently pointed out the high expectations and her tendency to hold others to impossible standards, the younger sister reacted defensively and stormed out. It’s a tough situation because it's clear the older sister cares about Kay but is struggling to find a way to help her see things differently.

The OP asks:

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The younger sister complained about her small social circle.

Then the OP gently told her that it's the consequence of cutting everyone off.

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Perfectionism and Its Consequences

The younger sister's expectation of perfection from those around her may be rooted in perfectionism, a trait often linked to higher levels of anxiety and dissatisfaction. Research from Stanford University indicates that perfectionism can create unrealistic expectations, leading to chronic disappointment and strained relationships. In this case, the younger sister's complaints about her social circle may reflect her internal struggles with self-worth and the pressure she places on herself and others.

This highlights the importance of addressing underlying perfectionistic tendencies to foster healthier interactions and self-acceptance.

The OP then showed examples of instances where her sister decided to go NC over her high expectations.

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She went NC with some family members.

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Moreover, perfectionism can lead to social isolation, as individuals may push others away in an attempt to maintain their high standards. Studies have shown that people with perfectionistic tendencies often experience difficulties in forming meaningful connections, as they may view others through a critical lens. This reinforces feelings of loneliness and inadequacy, perpetuating a cycle of negative self-perception.

Understanding these patterns is crucial for breaking the cycle and promoting healthier relationships.

She even cut her best friend off.

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And even her ex-boyfriend! She really has high expectations of everyone.

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Promoting Self-Compassion

To counteract the negative effects of perfectionism, fostering self-compassion is essential. Research indicates that self-compassion can improve emotional resilience and reduce harsh self-criticism. In this case, encouraging the younger sister to practice self-compassion can help her reframe her expectations of others and herself.

Implementing mindfulness techniques and positive affirmations can support her journey toward self-acceptance, ultimately enhancing her social interactions and relationships.

The OP was ultimately called a b*tch for her remarks.

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Redditors suggest that this person needs therapy.

It's very unhealthy for her mental well-being to have high expectations of the people she's close to.

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The OP's younger sister has unhealthy expectations of everyone. If she continues this behavior, she'll have no one to turn to in the future.

As suggested by Redditors, the sister should consider therapy. However, the OP can't just propose it out of the blue.

She might need to choose her words carefully to avoid offending her perfectionist sister.

The OP is thinking about suggesting therapy to her sister, but only after she's cooled off.

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Unfortunately, the sister is already witnessing the consequences of her actions.

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Practical strategies may include setting realistic goals and celebrating small achievements, rather than focusing solely on perfection. Engaging in reflective practices, such as journaling about positive experiences, can help shift her focus from flaws to strengths. Studies suggest that individuals who practice self-reflection and gratitude often report higher levels of happiness and fulfillment in their social lives.

The OP just had to say it, especially since the topic came up.

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Psychological Analysis

This situation reflects common patterns of perfectionism that can hinder social relationships. The younger sister's high expectations may stem from deeper issues related to self-worth and fear of rejection. Encouraging open discussions about these feelings can help her develop a more compassionate view of herself and others.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In summary, addressing the impact of perfectionism on social relationships is crucial for fostering emotional well-being. Psychological research emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and realistic expectations in promoting healthier interactions. By cultivating a balanced perspective, individuals can enhance their connections with others and improve their overall quality of life.