Sisters Betrayal: Should I Forbid Her from Dating My Cheating Ex-Husband?

A 34-year-old woman just tried to close the chapter on a brutal divorce, and she thought the worst part was over. Then she found out the betrayal did not stop at her ex-husband.

Her sister, 30, who’d been her closest confidante during the messy breakup, has been secretly dating the same ex-husband, 36, behind her back. When OP confronted her, her sister admitted they “developed feelings,” and now OP is stuck between sisterhood loyalty and the fresh, raw sting of being cheated on.

It’s not just dating drama, it’s a family wound reopening in real time.

Original Post

I (34F) recently finalized my divorce from my ex-husband (36M) after discovering his infidelity. It was a painful experience, and I've been working on healing and moving forward.

My sister (30F) has always been close to me, and I confided in her throughout the difficult process. However, I recently found out that she has been secretly seeing my ex-husband behind my back.

When I confronted her about it, she confessed that they have developed feelings for each other.

For background, my sister has been single for a while and has struggled to find a meaningful relationship.

On the other hand, I feel betrayed and hurt by both of them. It's challenging for me to accept that they would pursue a romantic relationship after everything that has happened.

I'm torn between my loyalty to my sister and the lingering pain of my failed marriage. While I want her to be happy, I can't help but feel that their relationship crosses a major boundary.

Would I be the a*****e if I told my sister that I can't support her decision to date my ex-husband, considering the history between us?

The Sisterly Conflict

This situation is a textbook example of family loyalty colliding with personal betrayal. The original poster (OP) is grappling with a deep sense of loss—not just from her ex-husband’s infidelity but also from her sister’s apparent disregard for that pain. It’s one thing to process a betrayal from a spouse; it’s entirely another when it’s compounded by a sibling’s actions. Readers can’t help but feel the tension here, as the OP is left to choose between her relationship with her sister and her own emotional recovery.

It raises the question: how can one navigate familial ties when trust is shattered? Many commenters weighed in, noting that this scenario isn’t just about romantic love but also about the bonds of sisterhood that seem to be at stake. It's a complicated web of emotions, and not everyone agrees on the right course of action.

OP’s divorce was only recently finalized when she learned her sister and her cheating ex-husband were already playing happy couple behind her back.

Comment from u/CoffeeLover321

NTA - That's a major breach of trust from both your sister and ex-husband. Your feelings are completely valid in this situation. Your sister should have respected your feelings before pursuing a relationship.

Comment from u/BaconBits007

YTA - Your sister deserves a chance at happiness, and if your ex-husband has truly changed, maybe they can make it work. It's challenging, but try to consider their perspective and how it might impact their lives.

The confession hits harder because her sister wasn’t some stranger, she was the person OP relied on while everything fell apart.

Comment from u/StarryNight22

NTA - Your sister should have prioritized your feelings and discussed this with you beforehand. It's a complicated situation, and it's understandable that you're feeling hurt and conflicted. Your emotions matter too.

Also, this sounds like the woman refusing to attend her sister’s wedding over her ex’s relationship.

Comment from u/JungleExplorer87

YTA - While it's understandable to feel hurt, you can't control who your sister chooses to date.

Now OP is weighing whether “feelings” erase the fact that both of them crossed a line right after the infidelity.

Comment from u/SunnySideUp99

NTA - Your sister should respect your boundaries and emotions, especially considering the history between you and your ex-husband. It's okay to set limits on what you're comfortable with, even if it causes tension in your relationship.

We're curious to hear your perspective. Share your thoughts in the comments.

That’s why her question lands like a bomb, can she set a boundary without blowing up her relationship with her sister for good?

The Community's Division

The Reddit community's reaction to this thread is fascinating, highlighting just how divided opinions can be on issues of love and loyalty. Some users firmly back the OP, arguing that dating a sister's ex is a blatant disregard for familial respect. Others, however, suggest that adults should be allowed to make their own choices, even if they tread into murky waters. This division reflects broader societal views on relationships; are we too quick to judge others’ decisions based on personal biases? The very act of a sister dating an ex-husband complicates the narrative, making it difficult to assign blame or cast judgment without understanding all the layers involved.

This story sheds light on the intricate dynamics of relationships, especially when betrayal rears its ugly head. The OP’s dilemma resonates with anyone who's faced a similar crossroads. It’s not just about the ex-husband's infidelity but the sister’s choices that turn the knife deeper. How should family loyalty weigh against personal happiness? As readers reflect on this emotional tug-of-war, it’s worth asking: would you support a sibling's choice in a situation like this, or would you take a stand for your own feelings?

The original poster (OP) is understandably feeling betrayed, not only by her ex-husband's infidelity but also by her sister's decision to pursue a relationship with him. This complex emotional landscape highlights the tension between familial loyalty and personal healing; OP had confided in her sister during her divorce, and now she feels that bond has been undermined. Meanwhile, the sister's struggle to find a meaningful relationship may have clouded her judgment, leading her to ignore the emotional fallout her actions could create. This situation underscores how deeply intertwined love and loyalty can be, often leaving individuals caught in painful dilemmas.

The family dinner might be awkward, but the real problem is that OP’s ex is still in the picture.

Want more betrayal fallout? See if it’s wrong to date your sibling’s ex, after your sibling’s breakup.