Is It Wrong to Date My Siblings Ex? Navigating Family Dynamics After a Breakup

A 27-year-old woman is wrestling with a guilt spiral that starts with a breakup, a few more hangouts, and one very complicated crush. Her sibling, Alex (29NB), split from their long-term partner, Jordan (28M), and somehow that “after the breakup” closeness turned into real feelings for OP.

Jordan and OP have known each other for years through family gatherings, but the romantic switch flipped only after Alex and Jordan ended things. The catch, Alex seems totally fine right now, no hard feelings, but OP still worries that dating Jordan could scramble the whole family dinner vibe, even if nobody is mad in the moment.

Now OP is asking if she’s the asshole for wanting something real with her sibling’s ex, even though the connection feels genuine.

Original Post

So I'm (27F) currently facing a dilemma that I never thought I would be in. My sibling 'Alex' (29NB) recently broke up with their partner 'Jordan' (28M) after a long-term relationship.

Now, here's the twist - I've developed feelings for Jordan. For background, I've known Jordan for years through family gatherings and always found him interesting, but I never saw him in a romantic light until now.

After their breakup, we naturally started hanging out more, and I realized there might be something between us. The problem is, I can't shake off the guilt of potentially dating my sibling's ex.

I know it can complicate family dynamics and may hurt Alex. But at the same time, I can't deny the connection I feel with Jordan.

Some important info - Alex hasn't revealed any hard feelings towards Jordan post-breakup, and they seem to be on good terms. But I'm still hesitant about pursuing anything further with Jordan due to the potential fallout within the family.

So AITA for considering dating my sibling's ex, even though they're no longer together and there's a genuine connection between Jordan and me? I honestly don't know if I'm wrong here and really need outside perspective.

The Complicated Web of Family Ties

This situation really highlights the messy intersection of love and family loyalty. The OP’s feelings for Jordan, her sibling’s ex, complicate relationships in ways that can be hard to untangle. After all, Alex and Jordan's breakup likely comes with its own set of emotions, and jumping into a romance with Jordan could feel like a betrayal to Alex.

Add to that the fact that all parties have known each other for years. It’s not just a fling; it’s a potential shift in family dynamics that could leave lasting scars. The question is, can familial bonds withstand such romantic entanglements without fraying at the seams?

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OP’s feelings didn’t come out of nowhere, Jordan has been around for years at family events, and the breakup just made it harder to pretend they were only “friendly.”

Why This Request Crossed a Line

The OP's choice to pursue a relationship with Jordan immediately after Alex’s breakup raises eyebrows. It’s one thing to develop feelings, but actively pursuing that connection feels like it might be crossing an unspoken boundary. Alex likely needs time to heal, and seeing a family member date their ex could intensify that pain.

This kind of situation often leads to feelings of betrayal and resentment, not just for Alex but also for other family members who may feel caught in the middle. It’s hard to ignore the emotional fallout that could follow if the OP decides to move forward despite the potential consequences.

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After Alex and Jordan called it quits, OP and Jordan started hanging out more, and that extra time is exactly what turned “maybe” into “I might actually want this.”

It’s the same kind of breakup fallout as the family feud over a cousin’s ex, when love triangle tension hits home.

Community Reactions: A Mixed Bag

The Reddit community's response to this dilemma reveals just how divided opinions can be on family matters. Some users might feel that love knows no boundaries, while others argue that respect for family ties should take precedence over personal feelings. This debate isn’t just academic; it’s personal for many.

What’s fascinating is how participants share their own stories, revealing that similar situations can lead to rifts or unexpected bonds. The OP’s predicament resonates because it’s a universal theme: how far should we go for love, especially when family is involved?

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The awkward part is that Alex appears okay with the split, yet OP can’t stop imagining how this could still sting later, especially around the family dinner table.

The Real Issue Here

At the core of this story is a classic moral dilemma. The OP has to weigh her feelings for Jordan against her loyalty to Alex. It’s not just about who she wants to date; it’s about the potential fallout for everyone involved. If she chooses to pursue this relationship, it could lead to a rift that changes family dynamics forever.

Moreover, it highlights a common tension in family relationships: the struggle between personal happiness and familial loyalty. This situation isn’t just about dating; it’s about navigating the emotional minefield that comes with intertwined lives.

Comment from u/BookWorm90

So OP is stuck weighing a real romantic connection with the fear of becoming the reason Alex’s breakup stops being “fine” and starts being a family storyline.</p>

What are your thoughts on this situation? Share your perspective in the comments below.

This story serves as a poignant reminder of how complicated family relationships can be, especially when romance enters the mix. The OP’s dilemma reflects broader themes of loyalty, love, and the potential for heartbreak within families. As readers, we can’t help but wonder: would you prioritize love over family ties, or is loyalty to family the ultimate rule? What would you do in this situation?

What It Comes Down To

The situation involving the 27-year-old woman and her sibling's ex, Jordan, underscores the complexities of family loyalty versus personal feelings. While Alex and Jordan seem to be on good terms post-breakup, the woman's growing connection with Jordan raises legitimate concerns about crossing emotional boundaries. This scenario taps into a universal struggle: how do we balance our desires with the potential for family conflict?

If OP isn’t careful, the romance with Jordan could end up breaking the peace Alex thought they had already moved past.

For another family fallout, read the AITA about dating your cousin’s ex-Jordan. Is it wrong to date my cousin’s ex?