Anxious And Broke Woman Unsure How To Tell Roommate's Family To Stop Taking Her Things, Reddit Weighs In

"Oh, I don't have much, so how do I tell this person not to take my things?" This is the situation the original poster (OP) of today's story found herself in.

According to the story, she has social anxiety, so she's unsure how to tackle the problem in front of her. A persistent and severe dread of social situations is referred to as social anxiety disorder or social phobia.

It's a common issue that typically manifests in adolescence. It can be really upsetting and significantly affect one's life.

Some people find that as they age, things get better, but for many others, it persists without treatment. So, the OP's roommate is away on a three-week vacation, and her sister has just moved into college.

Her family had some items shipped to the OP's apartment so they could pick them up and then move them to college with her sister. The mom and sister arrived and took some of the OP's tea, with the mom stuffing the whole pack into her bag.

Mind you, the OP is really short on money, as she has only $25 to her name. Her limited groceries were supposed to last her for weeks, but guess what?

They raided the fridge and cupboards and ended up eating some of the OP's things without even asking. The OP can't really replace what they all ate, and she doesn't know how to ask them to check with her first. 

The OP writes

Reddit/ILokiHateReddit

The small amount of groceries the OP does have is supposed to last her for the next few weeks

Reddit/ILokiHateReddit

The OP doesn't know how to ask them to ask her before they go through things

Reddit/ILokiHateReddit

Understanding Boundaries and Personal Space

The issue of roommates taking personal belongings often reflects deeper challenges related to boundaries and respect. Dr. Linda Green, a clinical psychologist, emphasizes that establishing clear boundaries is critical in shared living situations.

Research shows that when boundaries are not respected, it can lead to feelings of violation and resentment, impacting overall mental well-being.

The OP summarizes the story saying:

tl;dr: My roommate is away, and her well-to-do mom and sister have been stopping by to help move her into college an hour away. I only have $25 to get me through to the first week in October and am already very short on groceries. They have been eating my food and drinking my drinks without asking if it's mine, and I don't know how to ask them to check with me without sounding rude or bitchy.

And the comments roll in

Reddit/ILokiHateReddit

Who the heck steals tea?

Reddit/ILokiHateReddit

Can you ask before eating or taking something?

Reddit/ILokiHateReddit

Studies in social psychology indicate that individuals who fail to respect personal property often do so out of a lack of awareness or understanding of the impact of their actions. This behavior can trigger anxiety and stress in those whose belongings are taken without permission, as they feel their autonomy is being undermined.

Addressing these behaviors proactively can help restore a sense of safety and respect in the shared environment.

Telling them to stop eating her food

Reddit/ILokiHateReddit

The OP revealed this piece of information in the comments

Apparently, her mom has a habit of taking things she doesn't think my roommate is using and either taking them with her to give to people she thinks need them or sending them to her less fortunate family overseas. She's had multiple tablets, headphones, etc., go missing, only to find out her cousin in Europe was mailed them because her mom didn't think she was "using them enough." Weird stuff!

You are being a massive pushover

Reddit/ILokiHateReddit

It seems like she has no common sense

Reddit/ILokiHateReddit

Strategies for Addressing Boundary Violations

To address these issues, it's vital to engage in open and honest communication. Dr. Karen Smith, an expert in conflict resolution, suggests that individuals should clearly articulate their feelings and expectations regarding personal belongings.

For example, stating, 'I feel uncomfortable when my things are taken without permission' can be a starting point for a constructive conversation.

The OP should contact her roommate

Reddit/ILokiHateReddit

The OP should label what is hers

Reddit/ILokiHateReddit

Things are a bit tight

Reddit/ILokiHateReddit

Moreover, establishing shared agreements about personal space and belongings can prevent future misunderstandings. Research indicates that when individuals collaboratively create guidelines for shared spaces, it fosters a sense of ownership and mutual respect.

This proactive approach can significantly improve the living situation, reducing potential conflicts.

Shyness is not the same as social anxiety. It's a persistent worry that interferes with day-to-day activities, self-confidence, relationships, and life at work or in school.

The OP received lots of advice, one of which was to run the issue by her roommate, which she did. Hopefully, this helps, and you can share this post with your loved ones too.

The Psychological Impact of Property Infringement

Taking someone else's belongings can have a profound psychological impact, leading to feelings of disempowerment and anxiety. According to studies in behavioral psychology, individuals whose boundaries are frequently violated may develop increased stress responses and anxiety disorders.

Understanding this impact can encourage individuals to reflect on their behaviors and how they affect others, promoting a more harmonious living environment.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the importance of establishing and respecting boundaries in shared living spaces. Clear communication about personal belongings can help prevent misunderstandings and foster a greater sense of respect.

Encouraging open dialogue is key to maintaining a positive and supportive living environment.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In summary, addressing boundary violations in shared living situations requires effective communication and clear boundary-setting. As indicated by research in social psychology, fostering mutual respect and understanding is essential for maintaining a harmonious environment.

Ultimately, proactive discussions about personal space and belongings can lead to healthier relationships among roommates.