Man Seeks Advice On How To Salvage His Marriage As His Wife Is Soft Cheating With Her Female Best Friend

Cheating depends entirely on the circumstances and is subjective and contextual. Many would contend that this is simply dishonesty.

First things first, let's clarify and define what constitutes cheating. Phrases like "soft cheating," "cyber infidelity," and "micro-cheating" allude to lesser forms of deception that are ultimately dishonest but are not typically classified as adultery.

This involves behaving in ways that are inappropriate for a partner, including flirting, even when the offending party has no intention of leaving the relationship. Social media not only makes "soft cheating" and "cyber infidelity" possible, but it may also facilitate them.

Internet users who participate in online forums and messaging to access sexual content are committing "cyber infidelity." These acts are made possible by the nature of scrolling and digesting large quantities of content at once.

Perhaps it's the ease that makes this type of "cheating" easier to get away with. Because it's become simpler to hide anything on our phones, it's easy to ignore or deny engaging with content that our significant other doesn't approve of. 

The OP of today's story says his wife is cheating with her newly found best friend. This best friend happens to be his friend's wife, and they engage in many touchy behaviors together.

OP's wife even confessed to him that she and the friend's wife had slept in the same bed and that they had touched each other inappropriately. OP came online to seek advice, as he doesn't want things to get out of hand.

The OP writes

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The story kicks off

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They send romantic texts to each other

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Understanding the Impact of Emotional Infidelity

Emotional infidelity can be just as damaging as physical infidelity, often leading to feelings of betrayal and loss. Research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family indicates that emotional connections outside the primary relationship can threaten the bond and trust between partners.

This situation illustrates how the husband's awareness of his wife's emotional attachment to a friend can evoke feelings of insecurity and fear of abandonment.

How can the OP make it stop?

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In summary...

My wife of six years has repeatedly become emotionally romantic with her best friend, and I have recently discovered they are still more touchy than I thought. How can I make this stop?

And the comments roll in...

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This Redditor would leave

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Attachment theory provides valuable insights into why individuals may seek emotional connections outside their primary relationship. Studies suggest that those with insecure attachment styles are more likely to engage in emotional affairs, often as a way to fulfill unmet needs for intimacy and validation.

Understanding this dynamic can help the husband approach the situation with empathy rather than judgment, recognizing that his wife's behavior may stem from her own emotional needs.

It's giving middle school vibes

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Being raised in a strict religion

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The OP shares more details in the comments:

I think my post makes me seem more okay with this than I really am because of the "not kissing on the mouth" stuff. I also agree that "soft cheating" was the wrong phrase. I really mean she is having an affair, but I seriously doubt they've had sex for a lot of reasons I don't want to get into.I brought that "no mouth" line up because Sarah has said it a couple of times as if that was a line that she had in mind that she couldn't cross. I don't think that's a good line; I am just conveying the situation. I think that was their mental gymnastics for justifying their "friendship."

The OP can't fix this

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Communication as a Tool for Healing

Open communication is essential for addressing issues of infidelity. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned marriage researcher, states, "The key to a successful relationship is not just communication but understanding and empathy." His website, gottman.com, emphasizes the importance of discussing feelings of hurt and betrayal openly to facilitate healing. The husband might consider initiating a conversation with his wife about her feelings toward her friend, allowing space for her to express her needs without fear of retribution.

She's in love with her friend

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A full physical affair

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She's coming out and exploring

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Additionally, engaging in couples therapy can provide a safe environment for both partners to explore their emotions and rebuild trust. Research indicates that couples who attend therapy often see significant improvements in relationship satisfaction and emotional intimacy.

Therapeutic interventions can help the couple navigate their feelings and develop healthier patterns of communication.

These two women have been acting as if they are in love for a while, and many Redditors say that it is obvious. Some suggested that OP's wife might be a lesbian or bisexual, but religion has led them to believe that same-sex love isn't possible.

As a result, they are now looking for other justifications for their actions. Tell us what you think about this story by leaving your thoughts in the comments.

Establishing Boundaries in Relationships

Establishing clear boundaries is crucial in rebuilding trust after emotional infidelity. According to research published in the Journal of Family Psychology, couples who agree on boundaries regarding emotional connections with others tend to experience less conflict and more satisfaction in their relationship.

The husband and wife could benefit from discussing their comfort levels regarding friendships and emotional closeness outside their marriage, fostering a sense of security.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the complexities of emotional fidelity and the impact it can have on relationships. The husband's desire to salvage his marriage indicates a commitment to understanding and addressing the underlying issues, which is a crucial step in healing.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Ultimately, addressing emotional infidelity requires a commitment to open communication and a willingness to explore unmet needs. Research supports that couples who engage in these conversations can rebuild trust and create a stronger bond.

Through empathy and understanding, partners can navigate these challenges together, fostering a healthier relationship dynamic.