Mom Becomes Upset After Finding Out Her Son Accepted A Job Without Letting Her Know, Making Him Unavailable To Babysit His Two Sisters For Free
"He adores his sisters and only stays with them when he wants to. Otherwise, we wouldn't force him."
Having a family to support you and love you is a wonderful thing. However, it comes with its own challenges, frustrations, and sacrifices.
Even with a close family relationship, it's still important to set some boundaries. Otherwise, you'll find yourself doing things for the sake of your family that you didn't want to do in the first place, and resentment builds up over time.
OP (original poster) is a happy mother and wife raising three children. She shared on Reddit that her 18-year-old son lives with her, his two stepsisters, and his stepdad.
Tempers flared recently in their home when OP found out her son had accepted a job without informing them beforehand. She became upset about this news for two reasons.
First, OP feels that her son should have told her about this milestone since they live in the same house. Second, and what we believe is the real reason for her anger, is that her son babysits OP's daughters from 3 PM to 8 PM while she's at work.
When OP's son starts his job, he won't be able to babysit his sisters for free. He explained that he didn't really plan on getting a job, and his friends were the ones who got him the job, but OP doesn't believe his story.
She says he knows perfectly well that he has to give up looking after his sisters if he takes the job. The son retorted that OP shouldn't be surprised that he wanted a job to save and pay for his own expenses.
Moreover, he needed a job because it's not practical to babysit his sisters for hours on end without getting paid. They continued arguing, and OP's husband got involved, saying that the 18-year-old has no respect for them.
However, the son has made up his mind, stating that they have no right to be upset with him and should accept his decision. OP and her husband think that he acted selfishly and was inconsiderate about how his choice will put them in a tight spot.
OP's story from Reddit can be read below:
throwawayjob49
throwawayjob49"Without telling me."
throwawayjob49
throwawayjob49
"I think he's being inconsiderate."
throwawayjob49
OP says that hiring a babysitter is not an option for them since her two daughters have issues and prefer not to be around strangers.
throwawayjob49
They think it's okay for their son to babysit his sisters since he just watches them and plays video games while they do their own thing.
throwawayjob49
OP should have realized by now that her 18-year-old son is not free childcare.
Solid_Quote9133
But it seems like it's asking too much for OP to try to understand her son.
throwawayjob49
Let's hope she extends him the same courtesy in her decision-making process.
Ani_Infijar
OP made her son's milestone all about her, and instead of being happy for him, she decided to ruin it.
tniha
After thousands of comments, OP still hasn't seen where she went wrong.
throwawayjob49, OldManSpeed
She wanted her son to tell her before accepting the job so she could prepare her manipulative tactics.
ayoitsjo, mcfolly
Like any horrible employer, they use your love for the job to work harder while exploiting you.
BOSSBABY33
OP thinks she is entitled to her son's time and effort because she provides housing for him.
highsepton22
But she's just using that as leverage to maintain her lifestyle.
SmallestMonster
Right? She just agreed with whatever her husband said.
Palindromer101
They are stuck in a loop.
MadmansScalpel
We don't have enough information to speculate, but this could very well be the situation.
TopResponsibility720
OP's daughters are more attached to their brother than they are to their own parents.
PinkFrostingxxx
Kids get anxious around strangers; that's pretty normal, but it's your job as a parent to screen the people they are around and not give them any reasons to be anxious.
CO420Tech
The logic is flawed, to say the least.
Mybeautifulballoon
Would they make their son commute back and forth from college just to babysit his sisters?
CautiousPlant
OP is floundering, and it's showing.
a_different_pov_85
OP, your son is your child, not your co-parent.
Anxious_Apricot_8885
Your daughters are yours and your husband's responsibility.
Huntokar_Goddess
Whether you can or cannot afford childcare is not your son's problem.
TheTARDISRanAway
And if you really want him to keep babysitting for you, ask him, and if he agrees, pay him!
MizStazya
As soon as he starts working, OP's son will also begin to save to live far, far away from OP.
Portie_lover
He is an adult who can live his life the way he wants to.
lorelorelei
OP's story was posted on the Am I The A**hole subreddit, but like what others have said, she would be a perfect candidate on Choosing Beggars and Entitled Parents. If she doesn't change her ways, her son will end up resenting her and spoil his relationship with his sisters.
Any reasonable parent would have been proud upon learning that their adult son is taking charge of his own life. Obviously, OP and her husband are not reasonable, but it seems there is at least one responsible adult in that house, and we wish him well on his first job.
