Man Tells Wife To Stop Expecting Appreciation For Being A Stay-At-Home Mom, Because It's Her "Job"

This husband wants to find out from a Reddit community if he's a jerk for not appreciating his wife for the role she plays in taking care of their home and 2-year-old twins.

Some couples can turn a simple request into a full-blown argument, and that is exactly what happened here. A husband who works outside the home says his stay-at-home wife has started asking for more appreciation, while he sees her role as part of the deal they already agreed on.

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The couple has 2-year-old twins, a busy household, and a wife who says she is burned out and feels taken for granted. He, on the other hand, believes he should not have to thank her for doing what he sees as her job, especially since he is the one earning the money.

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That disagreement sent him straight to Reddit, where people had plenty to say about his attitude.

With 2-year-old twins and a host of house chores, parenthood can become a full-time job.

With 2-year-old twins and a host of house chores, parenthood can become a full-time job. Chris Ford (not the actual photo)
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Occasionally, people fail to recognize that, even if they aren't particularly affectionate themselves, other people may require those fundamental human emotions in order to experience inner satisfaction. Even if your partner is a stay-at-home parent, it's never a bad idea to tell them how much you love and appreciate them.

AITA for telling my wife that she should stop constantly expecting appreciation and just get on with her job of being a SAHM?

AITA for telling my wife that she should stop constantly expecting appreciation and just get on with her job of being a SAHM?Particular-Willow-17
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He explained that when he and his wife got married, they both agreed that she would be a stay-at-home mom.

He explained that when he and his wife got married, they both agreed that she would be a stay-at-home mom.Particular-Willow-17 Couple discussing household roles, husband tells wife appreciation is unnecessary Particular-Willow-17

As someone who makes a good wage, the OP and his wife are comfortable. In addition, she's free to buy herself things without any stipulated spending limit.

As someone who makes a good wage, the OP and his wife are comfortable. In addition, she's free to buy herself things without any stipulated spending limit.Particular-Willow-17 Living room scene with husband praising wife’s housework, wife feels unappreciatedParticular-Willow-17

The OP praised his wife's diligence in taking care of the house. Apparently, he thought she was okay with their roles, but it seems the opposite is the case.

The OP praised his wife's diligence in taking care of the house. Apparently, he thought she was okay with their roles, but it seems the opposite is the case.Particular-Willow-17

To his surprise, his wife started complaining about being burned out, unappreciated, and taken for granted.

To his surprise, his wife started complaining about being burned out, unappreciated, and taken for granted.Particular-Willow-17

She requested that he show her appreciation by buying her some small gifts.

She requested that he show her appreciation by buying her some small gifts.Particular-Willow-17

Well, he didn't take her seriously until a major argument ensued. In her words, she's fed up with being "treated like a servant."

Well, he didn't take her seriously until a major argument ensued. In her words, she's fed up with being "treated like a servant."Particular-Willow-17

From the OP's point of view, he didn't feel the need to appreciate his wife because they are both carrying out their respective roles. After all, she doesn't thank him for making money.

From the OP's point of view, he didn't feel the need to appreciate his wife because they are both carrying out their respective roles. After all, she doesn't thank him for making money.Particular-Willow-17 Tense couple argument about being treated like a servant, Reddit post contextParticular-Willow-17

Now, he seems to be on the fence. Thus, he decided to ask the Reddit community if they think he's a jerk for not appreciating his wife.

Now, he seems to be on the fence. Thus, he decided to ask the Reddit community if they think he's a jerk for not appreciating his wife.Particular-Willow-17 Husband and wife in kitchen, debate over small gestures like chocolate and thanksParticular-Willow-17

The post has garnered over 7k likes and 2k comments, many of whom express an interest in his unique take on the matter.

It also echoes the argument where parents questioned paying equally for cooking, and the asker pushed back.

AITA for asking to be paid equally for cooking family dinners?

"Is it really too much to occasionally buy your wife a bar of chocolate or say thank you?"

"Is it really too much to occasionally buy your wife a bar of chocolate or say thank you?"Via Reddit

"Your wife expecting that low bar to be met is reasonable."

"Your wife expecting that low bar to be met is reasonable."Via Reddit

"She's telling you what she needs; it doesn't sound like it would cost you much effort to make her feel appreciated."

"She's telling you what she needs; it doesn't sound like it would cost you much effort to make her feel appreciated."Via Reddit

"You get weekends off, right? When is her day off?"

"You get weekends off, right? When is her day off?"Via Reddit

"She is taking care of you and your kids."

"She is taking care of you and your kids."Via Reddit

Buying her a box of chocolates is definitely "very small and easy."

Buying her a box of chocolates is definitely "very small and easy."Via Reddit

Different users took pleasure in schooling the OP on the importance of making his wife feel loved and appreciated.

Different users took pleasure in schooling the OP on the importance of making his wife feel loved and appreciated.Particular-Willow-17

The internet community had the pleasure of shaming the naive author and pointing out the glaring errors in his reasoning.

Stay-at-home dads and moms have a unique set of challenges when it comes to raising children. There are few jobs that can compare to this one in terms of mental and physical exhaustion; therefore, having an understanding spouse by your side is a necessity.

And that is where the argument really landed.

Want another “our money” fight? See what her husband called “wrong” about her side-hustle earnings.

This SAHM started a small side hustle, but her husband said she spent her earnings “wrong”

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