Struggling with Dads Constant Money Requests: AITA for Saying No?

A 22-year-old woman just started her graduate job, and somehow her first real paycheck didn’t bring peace. It brought another round of calls and texts from her dad asking for “a bit of help,” usually £50 to £100, and always with that heavy, guilty tone that makes it feel less like a request and more like a trap.

The situation is messy because she is already doing her part at home, paying for groceries and helping out, but her dad keeps treating her like the family’s emergency fund. To make it worse, she’s the 5th of 7 kids, her older siblings are no contact, and her mom never asks her for money, which makes the pressure feel even more one-sided.

Now she’s stuck wondering if saying no makes her a selfish daughter, or if her dad is crossing a line.

Original Post

I (22F) recently started my graduate job, and ever since then, my dad has been constantly asking me for money. He’ll message or call asking for “a bit of help,” usually £50–£100 at a time and this happens almost every week.

For context, I’m the 5th child out of 7. My three older siblings are no contact with my parents for their own reasons.

My mum never asks me for money, but my dad has been doing this since I was 18. Even when I was at university living off Student Finance and struggling to manage, he would still ask me for money.

He tends to ask in a way that makes me feel guilty almost begging and I end up caving even when I can’t really afford it. I’m a first-generation immigrant, so I’ve always felt pressure to “step up” and help where I can, but I’m also trying to build a stable foundation for myself.

I don’t have a trust fund, inheritance, or family wealth to fall back on. I’m just starting out, trying to save and be responsible with my finances.

I still live at home and do contribute I pay for groceries, help out with things around the house, and try to do my part. But the constant requests for cash are really wearing me down.

Every time I say I can’t give him money, he gets disappointed or guilt-trips me, and I end up feeling awful. I’m starting to wonder if I’m being unfair or selfish by saying no but part of me also feels like this isn’t normal behaviour from a parent, especially since my mum never does this and most of my friends’ parents actually help them financially at this age.

So Reddit, AITA for setting boundaries and saying no when my dad asks me for money?

Setting financial boundaries is crucial, particularly for young adults navigating new responsibilities.

Comment from u/Bluebells7788

Comment from u/Bingo_Bongo_85

Comment from u/CandylandCanada

That’s when her dad’s weekly “a bit of help” routine starts feeling less like support and more like constant pressure on her new graduate salary.

Financial requests within family dynamics can become a breeding ground for guilt and resentment, particularly when parents lean on their adult children for support. The Reddit post highlights the struggles of a 22-year-old woman whose father frequently asks for money, illustrating how these expectations can strain the parent-child relationship. The article suggests that fostering financial independence in adult children is crucial. This shift from dependency to empowerment not only nurtures healthier family connections but also encourages personal growth. The young woman's decision to prioritize her own financial stability is a necessary step toward establishing boundaries that can lead to a more equitable financial interaction within her family.

Comment from u/mtmp40k

Comment from u/OhmsWay-71

Comment from u/C_Majuscula

Communicating Effectively

Effective communication is key when dealing with financial requests from family.

Comment from u/Individual_Metal_983

Comment from u/OhioPhilosopher

Comment from u/Sinacias

Even during university, when she was living on Student Finance and barely keeping up, he still found ways to ask for cash.

This also echoes the Redditor debating whether to confront parents about favoritism.

Financial boundaries are often linked to broader issues of self-esteem and personal values.

Comment from u/JessieColt

Comment from u/Heavy-Equipment8389

Comment from u/CuriousMindedAA

After she refuses, he responds with disappointment and guilt-trips, even though she’s already paying for groceries and pitching in at home.

Strategies for Setting Boundaries

By allocating a specific amount for family help, individuals can support their loved ones without feeling overwhelmed. Regularly revisiting this budget ensures that both parties stay on the same page, preventing misunderstandings and fostering mutual respect.

Comment from u/Tiny-Party2857

Comment from u/LavenderPearlTea

Comment from u/Expert_Slip7543

It's important to remember that financial requests often stem from deeper emotional needs.

Comment from u/AntiquePop1417

Comment from u/Herb-Bride

Comment from u/Medusa_7898

And because her mom never pulls the same money moves, her family dynamic starts to look a lot less “normal” and a lot more unfair.

Finding Balance

Finding a balance between familial support and personal financial health is essential.

We're curious to hear your perspective. Share your thoughts in the comments.

This scenario underscores the intricate nature of family dynamics, especially concerning financial support.

Navigating financial boundaries with family is a delicate issue, especially for young adults like the 22-year-old woman in the Reddit thread who recently secured her first graduate job. Setting boundaries is not merely a financial decision; it is an essential act of self-respect. By saying no to her father's requests, she can protect her own financial stability while still supporting her family in a way that does not jeopardize her newfound independence. This balance is crucial for fostering healthier family interactions and ultimately strengthens the bonds that can be tested by financial strain. The situation she faces is not uncommon, yet it underscores the importance of establishing practices that allow for both emotional support and financial security within family dynamics.

He might be wondering why she finally stopped funding his “bit of help,” but the real issue is the guilt games.

After a wedding boycott over parental favoritism, see what happened in this AITA where siblings refused to attend.