Working Teen Throws A Tantrum After Being Denied More Clothes Money By Her Mom
"She’ll have to pay for the rest of her clothes herself"
A 28-year-old mom says she set a basic clothing budget for her teen daughter, and it still somehow turned into a full-on blowup. The daughter, Juliana, didn’t just complain, she threw a tantrum over being denied more money for clothes.
Here’s the messy part: OP says Juliana already has 3 pairs of pants, 6 shirts, and 3 pairs of shoes, and the total hasn’t even hit $100. OP also claims her older daughter has been able to stretch purchases for years, so she suggested Juliana return what she bought and let her help her budget, but Juliana refused and insisted she needed more.
Now the question is whether OP is being unfair, or whether Juliana is learning the hard way that “more” isn’t always guaranteed.
Read the full story to find out what happens next...
RedditShe’s gotten 3 pairs of pants, 6 shirts, and 3 pairs of shoes, and she hasn’t spent $100
RedditOP's second daughter threw a tantrum because she won’t shop at discount stores
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OP points out Juliana’s current haul, 3 pairs of pants, 6 shirts, and 3 pairs of shoes, and that’s before the argument even really starts.
Many teens experience intense emotions due to hormonal changes and social pressures.
Understanding the root causes of a teen's frustration can foster a more supportive environment. Engaging in active listening during these moments can help parents and teens connect more meaningfully.
Parents should regularly check in with their teens about their emotional well-being. Scheduled family discussions can help address concerns proactively, changing the emotional climate before frustrations escalate into tantrums.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:
I think I might be the AH because I’m making my daughter pay out of pocket for her school clothes
We've gathered some of the most upvoted comments from other Redditors for you to read through below
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She's learning that choices have consequences
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Juliana may need a little guidance because of her age
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Things get tense when OP denies extra money and Juliana refuses to return the clothes, even after OP offers to help her budget.
This is similar to the teen who refused to engage in her dad’s dating life after losing her mom, where emotions and boundaries collide.
Financial literacy is essential for teenagers, as they begin to face real-world monetary choices.
The OP reveals her children's sizes
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Juliana’s tantrum lands right on top of the fact that OP’s older daughter bought jeans for $10 two years ago and they’re still going strong.
OP left this in the comments...
My older daughter bought a cute pair of jeans for $10 2 years ago and they’re still in great condition. Her gym shoes are usually a little more expensive but she’s never spent more than $40 on them and she still has some of her shoes from freshman year. Shirts are usually $5-15 and she has some from 5 years ago. You just have to look.They both have winter coats but we live in an area where it stays between 50-70 degrees most of the time so they’re not really needed.Their school ended in May. She works around 10-12 hours a week and takes a ballet class (1 hour a week) so I’d say she has a good amount of free time.I suggested that she return the clothes and I can help her budget but she’s refusing.
It'll be unfair to the first daughter if OP gave out more money
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She can supplement the additional cost
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Communication Strategies
Establishing a safe space for dialogue can significantly reduce conflicts.
This Redditor has a story to share
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A 15 year old navigating budgeting on a small amount
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The whole situation turns into a real money lesson when OP notes Juliana hasn’t spent more than $100 total, but still acts like it’s not enough.
Some Redditors say that while OP's older daughter drives herself to all the discount stores, she just said, "Here's some money, enjoy your bus trip," without teaching her second daughter how to create a budget.
Also, OP's younger kid is larger than the elder daughter and most likely didn't benefit from any hand-me-downs, while the older daughter has likely been the same size for years and has a real wardrobe to build from.
In all these, a verdict has to be made, and yes, the OP was declared not the AH.
This scenario underscores the persistent tension between parental expectations and the desires of adolescents, particularly in the context of money management and self-image. Juliana's outburst reflects her inner conflict as she attempts to align her social identity with her financial circumstances. The pressure to conform to her peers' standards, especially regarding brand-name clothing, likely exacerbates her frustration. Furthermore, her emotional reaction indicates a struggle to understand the implications of her spending choices. This is a typical developmental stage for teenagers, who are often learning to balance independence with the responsibilities that come with it.
In the tumultuous relationship between parents and their teenage children, open communication is essential.
The family dinner did not end well, because Juliana wanted new clothes on demand, and OP stuck to the budget.
Wait until you see the family blowup over whether someone should attend a baby shower after unethical business practices, with the cousin’s values and loyalty on the line.
