Teen Athlete Faces Dilemma: Sacrifice Mothers Trip for Sport?

Some moms act like sports are cute little hobbies, until a calendar gets involved. For one teen athlete, May and June are not “sometime later” months, they are the make-or-break stretch for lowkey nationals and national selections.

The problem is her mom already planned a trip to a nice place, with an anniversary, a birthday, and even the teen’s birthday clustered right in the same window. The coach even suggested avoiding early and late May, so the athlete is trying to lock in tournament dates, while her mom hears “excuses” and turns every conversation into a personal attack.

Now she’s stuck wondering if she’s the one being difficult, or if her mom will quietly pull the plug on her travel plans just out of spite.

Original Post

So, I am a teen athlete and I know I will have the most important tournaments in May and June this year, but my mom is/was planning a trip during that same time to a nice place, plus her anniversary, birthday and my birthday fall around that time too. Now, the dates for the tournaments haven't come out yet but my coach told to avoid early and late May, dates trends suggest I should entirely avoid going out in May and June.

I have been training really hard, focusing on my sport a lot the past ~2 years and I don't wanna lose the chance to compete in these matches, they are lowkey nationals and national selections and all. But my mom doesn't get it.

My mother takes everything as a personal attack and says that tournaments are just excuses and if I don't wanna go I should just say that. (I mostly do, but my parents and I do fight every time we go).

She repeatedly got mad. I asked her if we could go in end of April- after cooperating with me on that too for a while, she again got mad and said I have a problem with everything.

She initially also proposed June 1st week and now says that we just won't go and stuff. By the way, the tickets in April end are cheaper than June 1st week, so that's not an issue either.

It seems like she just doesn't respect me as an athlete and tbh now I am scared that she might not even let me go out of station for my tournaments that time. What should I do?

I am in the right or in wrong? Edit: Forgot to mention this but she also keeps calling me a sulker and loner for lowkey being in my room half the day (and just studying there perpetually) and she said that she wouldn't make any travel plans with me again (she says things like that when she is mad but doesn't usually mean it) and turned all this into how daughters are supposed to be their moms' best friends and all.

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This is similar to the mom who debated whether to exclude her in-laws from her child’s birthday party to avoid drama.

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The whole fight kicks off when tournament dates are still unknown, but OP’s mom is already calling them “excuses” and snapping at every attempt to shift the trip to late April.</p>

When June 1st week gets floated and then gets thrown out, OP’s mom basically flips from “we’ll go” to “we just won’t go,” like the tickets were the real issue all along.</p>

The tension gets scarier when OP starts worrying her mom might refuse to let her even leave the station for the tournaments, after all the “I won’t make travel plans with you again” threats.</p>

Even OP studying in her room half the day turns into name-calling, “sulker and loner,” and the mom’s demand that daughters be their moms’ best friends gets weaponized.</p>

We're curious to hear your perspective. Share your thoughts in the comments.

If OP’s mom treats tournament travel like a loyalty test, nobody in that family dinner is walking out happy.

Want another family blowup, read about the Reddit mom who refused to lend money to her bakery-struggling brothers.