Redditor Gets Disowned By Conservative Family After Coming Out As Trans, Proceeds To Disown Mom For Not Supporting Her In The Face Of Family Persecution
The life of a trans woman in a conservative religious household.
When you grow up in a conservative Christian household, breaking free from tradition can seem like an impossible task. Yet, one fearless young woman dared to carve her own path—but it wasn’t without its ups and downs.
In our narrator’s (Original Poster’s) family, gender roles were engraved in stone. The rules were clear: women should be seen and not heard, and their purpose was solely to procreate.
OP’s father, however, insisted on a college education for all his sons and grandsons—fully funded by him, of course. But all hell broke loose when one of his grandsons bravely declared her truth: she was a trans woman.
Although many recoiled, OP embraced Joelle with open arms. Her mother, on the other hand, pleaded with her to keep this revelation under wraps to secure her college fund—spoiler alert: she didn’t.
Joelle was promptly disowned by Grandpa after flaunting her true self at a family event. The worst part? Her mom took Grandpa’s side.
Having her family turn on her was too much for poor Joelle to bear. Luckily, OP and her husband stepped in. They welcomed Joelle into their family, and she became the daughter they never had.
From father-daughter dates to paying for her college, Joelle flourished under their unconditional love. It wasn’t long before she summoned the courage to cut ties with those who couldn’t accept her.
Her mom broke down after receiving a strongly worded email from Joelle stating that she should never contact her again. She placed a frantic call to OP and began lamenting about how Joelle was punishing her, but OP had no sympathy for her and made one thing clear: she brought this upon herself.
Her sister obviously didn’t take it well. Was OP wrong for stating the bitter truth?
The story in detail
Reddit.comSome background on the story
Reddit.comThe Psychological Impact of Coming Out
Coming out as transgender can be a deeply transformative experience, filled with both relief and challenges. Research highlights that individuals who receive support during this process tend to experience better mental health outcomes.
A study published in the Journal of LGBT Issues in Counseling indicates that supportive family environments can significantly mitigate the risks of anxiety and depression among transgender individuals.
OP’s niece, Joelle, transitioned from male to female and was disowned immediately. In addition, OP’s dad refused to give her money for college
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OP and her husband not only took Joelle in, but they paid for her college. Within this period, Joelle also disowned all those who were against her transition, including OP’s sister (her mom).
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The emotional fallout from disownment by family members can be profound. Studies in psychology show that rejection from loved ones significantly impacts self-esteem and identity development, often leading to feelings of isolation and despair. Dr. Susan David, an emotional agility expert, emphasizes, "The ability to navigate our emotions and the challenges of our relationships is crucial for our well-being." According to her insights on SusanDavid.com, experiencing familial support during the coming out process is vital for developing a positive self-concept and resilience.
OP’s sister has been hysterical about losing Joelle. But as OP has said multiple times, she has herself to blame
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We gathered some reactions from the Reddit community:
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Coping Mechanisms for Rejection
Coping with family rejection requires resilience and support from other sources. Mental health professionals often recommend building a support network of friends, allies, and LGBTQ+ community resources to counteract feelings of isolation. Dr. Susan David, a renowned psychologist and author of "Emotional Agility," states, "The more we connect with others, the more we can navigate life's challenges." Research indicates that individuals with strong support systems report better mental health outcomes, as these connections provide validation and understanding. According to Dr. Jonathan Haidt, a social psychologist, "Social support can significantly buffer the negative effects of discrimination and rejection," as noted on his professional website jonathanhaidt.com.
This Redditor had a similar experience within her family
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“Your sister is a fool who lost her daughter through her own decisions.”
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Additionally, engaging in self-care practices is essential for emotional well-being. Activities that promote mindfulness, such as yoga or meditation, can help regulate emotions and foster a sense of stability during turbulent times.
Research shows that mindfulness-based interventions can significantly reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, providing individuals with tools to cope with stressors more effectively.
“You spoke the truth; they don’t like it because they’re now reaping the consequences of being pieces of shit.”
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“Your sister failed Joelle when she most needed support and did nothing to protect her from the fallout of coming out.”
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OP defended Joelle’s right to live authentically, even if it meant facing the wrath of her own family. Embracing someone for who they are can never be wrong, so Redditors were solidly on OP’s side.
Family is about more than just blood; it’s also about the love and acceptance we choose to give and receive. Joelle’s mom turned her back on her when she needed her most, so to the Redditors, OP did no wrong—she only spoke the truth.
What do you think about this story? Let us know in the comments.
“All she did is make it a mutual split by disowning your sister back.”
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“NTA. Your sister's love and support are conditional. You and your family were a safe haven for your niece.”
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The Importance of Affirmation
Affirmation of one's identity is crucial for mental health and well-being. Psychologists emphasize the importance of surrounding oneself with affirming individuals who respect and validate one's identity.
Research indicates that individuals who receive affirmation from peers and community members report higher levels of self-esteem and lower levels of psychological distress.
Engaging with supportive communities can foster a sense of belonging and acceptance, which is essential for individuals navigating the challenges of coming out.
Psychological Analysis
This situation highlights the profound emotional impact of familial rejection on individuals coming out as transgender. It’s crucial for those affected to seek out supportive environments that affirm their identity, as this can significantly buffer against the negative psychological effects of rejection.
Encouraging open dialogue within the family, when safe, may also help bridge understanding and support.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
Ultimately, navigating the complexities of coming out and dealing with family rejection requires a multifaceted approach to support and self-care. As Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a happiness researcher, states, "Cultivating a strong support system and engaging in self-affirming practices are vital for emotional resilience and well-being." For more insights on fostering happiness and well-being, you can visit her professional website at sonjalyubomirsky.com.
