Newlywed Wants His College Student Son to Babysit His Twin Sons for Free So He Can Go on a Three-Week Honeymoon

Some people don’t recognize a favor, and this family is the perfect example. A newlywed couple is trying to enjoy a three-week honeymoon, and they’ve decided the “solution” is free babysitting from family.

First, they asked OP’s mom to watch the twins during the trip, and she said no. Then they went to OP, a 22-year-old college student who has helped with the twins before, but only for a few hours, not full-time for weeks. When OP asked his dad to pay him if he’s expected to do it, his dad got mad and acted like OP should just step up because they’re his siblings.

Now OP is stuck wondering if he’s being unreasonable, or if his dad is trying to treat his honeymoon as everyone else’s job.

They asked OP's mom to be the twins' babysitter during their honeymoon, but she declined.

u/SnowNo3724

The next person they asked was OP. Watching the twins wasn't new to OP, but he had only taken care of them for a few hours previously.

u/SnowNo3724

Three weeks is a long time, so OP asked his dad to pay him if he wants him to babysit two five-year-old boys.

u/SnowNo3724

The honeymoon plans start falling apart the minute the couple gets a hard no from OP’s mom.

The expectation for adult children to assume family responsibilities can indeed foster significant tension, particularly when these demands come across as obligations rather than voluntary choices. In this case, the father is asking his 22-year-old son to take on the full-time role of babysitting his twin sons for three weeks, which is a considerable burden, especially given that the son is still navigating his own life as a college student.

This scenario highlights how societal norms often dictate familial roles, leading to misunderstandings about what is reasonable to expect from adult children. When such expectations are imposed, they can breed resentment and frustration, not only for the son who is being asked to sacrifice his time but also for the father who may not fully grasp the implications of his request.

His dad got mad and said that OP was asking for too much. After all, the twins are his siblings, and he badly needs OP to do this as a favor. Should OP grant his dad this favor?

u/SnowNo3724

Shouldn't the babysitting fees be counted as part of the twins' expenses?

NUT-me-SHELL, SnowNo3724

If OP has a job, taking care of two kids will consume a lot of his time and concentration.

asecretnarwhal

The situation outlined in the article raises significant concerns about generational expectations and the responsibilities placed on adult children. A 22-year-old college student is being asked to take on the demanding role of a full-time caregiver for his twin half-brothers while his father embarks on a three-week honeymoon. This request not only disregards the son's personal goals and commitments but also risks straining the newly rebuilt relationship with his father. It is essential for parents to recognize that expecting adult children to prioritize familial obligations over their own aspirations can lead to resentment and emotional distress. Open communication about these expectations is vital to avoid creating a rift and to promote healthier family dynamics.

If OP is on a break from school, does he even have an apartment for the kids to stay in, or will he temporarily move into his dad's house to make the twins more comfortable?

Reddit

OP does have a job and basically lives alone. How is he expected to juggle his job and babysit two five-year-olds?

SnowNo3724

OP's dad didn't plan this honeymoon properly. He overestimated how much he can ask from OP or OP's mom.

cara1888

That’s when the request shifts to OP, the 22-year-old who’s only ever watched the twins for a few hours.

This sounds like the guy who paid the deposit alone, then asked his brother to split house payments equally.

When Favor Becomes Obligation

It's crucial to distinguish between favors and obligations in family dynamics.

Family members should engage in open dialogues about expectations regarding assistance, ensuring that contributions are voluntary and not coerced.

Working from home is still work. It doesn't mean OP is free to essentially parent two children and keep them entertained.

SnowNo3724

OP really should say no. Even with pay, taking care of two kids is a lot of work.

Crankybum1961, SnowNo3724

OP's dad needs to postpone the three-week honeymoon of his dreams. Parents deserve a break, but three weeks without a plan in place for their children's care is irresponsible.

throwmeawaypoopy

Things really blow up when OP asks his dad to pay him for three weeks of watching two five-year-old boys.

Encouraging adult children to express their feelings about family responsibilities can foster healthier interactions.

Regular family meetings can provide a platform for discussing these expectations, helping to clarify roles and responsibilities.

Moreover, practicing gratitude and appreciation for each other's contributions can strengthen familial bonds.

I don't think OP's dad is going to like those figures.

Peachbowtie

The kids are bound to notice their parent's absence for three weeks. If OP agrees, he will spend most of his time consoling his brothers, who are too young to fully understand why their father left them.

mkaybabesyoudoyou

A week-long honeymoon seems more plausible and practical if OP's dad really wants to be alone with his husband.

Jallenrix

His dad’s response, “they’re your siblings, do it as a favor,” is what turns a simple babysitting ask into a full family fight.

Balancing Independence and Responsibility

Supporting adult children's independence while maintaining family ties is a delicate balance.

Parents should recognize that their children's aspirations may not always align with their expectations, and that's okay.

Encouraging individual pursuits can lead to more fulfilling relationships over time.

Or he can stick to their original plan and bring the twins with them. It doesn't seem like there is enough incentive to convince OP to do this as a favor to his dad.

He shouldn't be made to feel guilty for wanting compensation. Taking care of young kids for three whole weeks is a lot, and OP will need his own vacation after it if he agrees.

Consulting a family therapist can be a proactive step when navigating these challenges.

The situation presented raises significant questions about the dynamics of familial expectations and responsibilities.

Nobody wants to babysit two five-year-olds for free just so their dad can disappear on a three-week honeymoon.

Wait, it gets worse for unpaid family labor, like the jobless son who questioned his parents’ “be grateful” babysitting-style expectations, after moving back home.