Redditors React As Woman Tells Son's Pregnant GF To Either Get Job When She Gives Birth Or Move Out

It can be challenging to remember that work is not our life. There is a lot of cultural pressure to work hard at one's current job in order to advance to a better one.

We work to increase revenue so that we can purchase more goods. To do that, we have to put in our greatest effort and make sacrifices.

We work because we want to improve our lives, and to do so, we must be able to support ourselves financially. For the majority of us, that means having a job, and work is a tool that allows us to satisfy our needs and desires in different ways.

Additionally, when we use work as a tool, we can manage our efforts to improve our own lives and those of our loved ones. However, if we lose sight of our priorities, work may consume all of our time and attention; it becomes a burden that prevents us from achieving our goals rather than a tool.

But it still doesn't change the fact that we must work to earn a living. The OP understood that work was necessary; besides, there were mouths to feed and bills to pay.

Then comes her son's girlfriend, who is pregnant but does not work. Her family is very well-off, but they kicked her out, so she was living in a hostel before she came to stay with the OP.

The OP had to give her options, as she couldn't handle all the burden alone.

The OP writes

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When OP's son came out, he had to check in with probation regularly

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Navigating Family Expectations and Responsibilities

Dr. Mark Chen, a family therapist at UCLA, discusses how family obligations can complicate relationships, particularly when financial support is involved.

His research reveals that individuals often feel torn between their loyalty to family and their own personal beliefs, leading to conflict.

This scenario underscores the importance of balancing familial duties with personal values and boundaries.

She's trying to find an entry-level job in the field she was studying, but has had no success

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She doesn't want to do a "soul-destroying" job because she used to have a bright future ahead of her

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

I want her to get a menial job, even though she'll have just given birth and had big career prospects, and would be wasting her talents.

Below are some of the most upvoted comments from other Redditors for you to check out

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This Redditor believes that Lizzy needs an attitude adjustment

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When one partner feels pressured to support extended family, it can create a sense of injustice within the relationship.

Studies show that perceived inequities in family obligations can lead to resentment and conflict, particularly when financial resources are limited.

Understanding the emotional weight of these responsibilities is crucial in navigating these challenges.

The OP should never have let her move in the first place

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It is not a happy situation but a disaster

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Effective Communication Strategies for Couples

Open communication is key when discussing financial support for family members.

Experts recommend that partners express their feelings and concerns without judgment, which can help clarify each other's perspectives and reduce tension.

Using 'we' language can also help foster a sense of teamwork, such as saying 'We need to discuss how we can support both our families' rather than focusing on individual duties.

There is no reason for the OP to take up the burden of the son's girlfriend

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She needs to focus on what's in front of her now

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Setting clear boundaries regarding financial support can also help alleviate strain in the relationship.

Partners should collaboratively establish guidelines on how much support is feasible without compromising their financial stability.

Research indicates that couples who establish clear financial boundaries report higher relationship satisfaction and lower conflict levels.

They clearly won't be able to afford childcare

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People tend to look down on those doing menial jobs

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In many Redditors' opinion, you should live on your own if you consider yourself mature enough to have a partner and a child. All adults should be making contributions to the household, even if you have multigenerational living arrangements.

The OP has one child, but now she has three children to care for, and she can't handle it. Redditors made their verdict, and the OP was declared not the AH.

Psychological Analysis

This situation reflects a common conflict in relationships where one partner feels compelled to prioritize family obligations over shared goals.

It's crucial for both partners to engage in open discussions that address these feelings and establish mutual understanding.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Balancing family obligations with personal values is a common challenge for many couples.

As highlighted by Dr. Sue Johnson, effective communication and mutual respect are essential for navigating these complex dynamics.

Ultimately, fostering an environment of understanding can lead to healthier relationships.