Mom Accused of Favoritism After Giving More Inheritance to Her Daughter with ADHD Who Isn't Doing Great in Life

Getting less than your peers is usually not well received by anyone. We all like to be treated fairly and refuse to accept any favoritism against our favor. 

Sometimes, being fair means you won't treat people equally; many factors must be considered before making a decision involving these aspects. An uneven split is rarely accepted, despite the reasoning behind it; it's not something people are okay with. 

Most people expect fairness, which is typically an even split. All it takes is a compassionate person to understand the situation and be okay with an uneven division. 

A Redditor who later deleted her account made a post on the r/AmItheA**hole subreddit, where she explained how she decided to give significantly more inheritance to one of her two daughters. The user felt that the split was fair, considering that her younger daughter, who is receiving less, is more financially stable.

The daughter's reaction made the OP doubt her decision, so she decided to consult with the Reddit community. 

The Reddit community had a variety of reactions to the user's post. Scroll down to check out the full Reddit post, and scroll a little further to read the comments from the original post. 

Here's the original post by a Reddit user who later deleted her account:

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

One of OP's daughters has ADHD, and everyone assumes she's just lazy.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

OP's youngest daughter is more financially stable and has a partner who is a doctor.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

Navigating Family Expectations and Support

The mother's decision regarding inheritance reflects the underlying dynamics of support and expectation within families. According to research in family psychology, financial decisions often symbolize deeper emotional ties and perceptions of fairness.

Studies indicate that how financial support is distributed can significantly affect sibling relationships and overall family harmony. In cases where perceived favoritism exists, it can lead to long-term resentment and conflict among siblings.

OP decided to leave more to Emma to give her life a much-needed boost.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

OP's reasoning didn't convince her younger daughter, who didn't take the news well. So she decided to consult with the Reddit community.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

Here's how the Reddit community reacted to the user's post:

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

Moreover, psychological experts note that ADHD can complicate family dynamics, particularly in perceptions of responsibility and success. Families may unintentionally place undue expectations on children with ADHD, leading to feelings of inadequacy and frustration.

Research has shown that when families engage in supportive discussions about these challenges, it can foster understanding and improve relationships.

She initially thought it was favoritism but understood why later.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

It's OP's money, and she's free to split it however she sees fit.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

Nothing in life is guaranteed, and things can change quickly.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

The Role of Communication in Family Dynamics

Effective communication is crucial for navigating complex family issues, especially regarding finances. Research shows that families who practice open dialogue about their financial situations tend to experience less conflict and greater understanding.

Encouraging family members to express their concerns and feelings about financial decisions can lead to healthier relationships and reduce the risk of resentment.

OP's decision might backfire on her later.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

"So I get no money and more work. Thanks, Mom!"

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

The division should be based on need.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

To mitigate potential conflicts, families might benefit from establishing regular family check-ins to discuss financial matters and emotional well-being. This practice encourages transparency and mutual respect among family members, promoting a sense of unity.

Additionally, emphasizing the importance of empathy and support can help create a more understanding environment for all family members, particularly those facing challenges.

"Money changes. Sam could lose everything; Emma could get her sh*t together."

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

A 50/50 split would have also helped with the sister's finances substantially.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

It's common sense to help people in need.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

"It sounds like Emma probably got more of your attention and emotional resources too..."

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

Sam's kids might put that money to better use.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

OP should acknowledge that she is favoring Emma.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

It would be fair if the split were 50/50.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

If you have enough money, why hoard more just for the sake of fairness?

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

"This isn't about the money or assets. It's about the rampant favoritism on your part."

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

OP should have a talk with both her daughters and try to either convince her younger daughter or come up with a more equitable split. If you enjoyed reading this, make sure to check out similar content on our platform.

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates the complexities of family dynamics regarding financial support and expectations. Open dialogue about these issues is crucial for preventing misunderstandings and fostering empathy.

Encouraging discussions around these topics can help families navigate challenges more effectively.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Managing family expectations around finances is essential for fostering healthy relationships. Research indicates that open communication can significantly reduce feelings of favoritism and resentment.

Ultimately, creating a supportive atmosphere where all family members feel valued can enhance familial bonds.