College Grad Secretly Excludes Friend From New Year's Hangout, But Things Get Awkward When They Eventually Find Out
The awkward moment when you realize you weren't invited...so you invite yourself.
By the time graduation rolled around, a lot of people were ready for a reset. One former student (OP) had just finished a demanding one-year college program and felt relieved to finally step away from the constant social pressure that came with it.
During that year, they made a friend named Max. Max was fun, energetic, and always ready to spend money and make plans.
At first, Max’s enthusiasm felt exciting. They are the kind of person who keeps things lively and rarely says no to anything.
Over time, though, that energy started to feel overwhelming. Max didn’t just like plans; they needed them.
On days when they made outing plans, and others opted to just relax, they would get upset and start arguments. Eventually, OP and some friends began pulling back just to avoid the stress of being around their toxic energy.
After graduation, things cooled off naturally. OP and Max still saw each other during the summer, and while it mostly went fine, the same patterns kept showing up.
When the New Year approached, OP casually asked in a group chat if anyone nearby had plans. Interestingly, Max was the only one who showed interest.
Instead of following up, OP sidestepped them and booked a flight to spend New Year’s with a close friend in another city.
Max eventually found out, and as expected, they got upset. That should have been the end of their friendship, right?…wrong!
Max let it go and later booked a flight to the same city with the expectation of joining the celebration anyway.
Now the trip that was meant to be calm and restorative feels tense before it even begins.
Scroll through the screenshots below to see how this situation unfolded in the original post.
Let’s dig into the details
Reddit.comA bit of backstory
Reddit.comOP and some others in the friend group started avoiding Max due to their toxic behavior
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OP sidestepped Max and booked a flight to celebrate the New Year with another friend. Max found out and took offense to this
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Max eventually let it go, but has now booked a flight to that same city to join OP and the other friend
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OP is eager to know if avoiding Max is the right thing to do, considering their energies don’t mesh
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Important edit
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It continues…
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Final part of the edit
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We gathered some interesting comments from the Reddit community
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“You need to be way more clear with them on boundaries and your intention.”
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“Grow up. Be an adult and tell Max you don’t want to hang out with him for New Years.”
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“YTA, because you can't say no. You aren't setting boundaries and just expect someone to clue in.”
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“You need to be consistent and stop sending him mixed signals.”
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The Reddit community scolded OP for not being bold enough to set boundaries with Max. It makes no sense to not like being around someone but keep leading them on to think they are wanted.
As OP said, Max is not a bad person, but their inability to be empathetic towards others makes them a menace to be around.
Hopefully, OP can find the courage to sit Max down and tell them how their behavior affects others. Possibly, they could change, or they could cut OP off for good. Either way, the conversation needs to be had.
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