Young Woman Wants Weed Bar Instead of Alcohol Bar at Her Wedding; Family Won't Attend in Protest
My father (and many of my family members) was an alcoholic when I was growing up, and I just don’t want that at my wedding.
A 28-year-old woman decided her wedding should have a weed bar, not an alcohol bar, and her family reacted like she’d announced a keg of chaos. To her, alcohol is the uncomfortable part, the thing that reminds her of old habits and old feelings. To them, it’s a wedding, and weddings come with tradition, booze included.
Here’s the messy part: OP isn’t asking for a “maybe later” option, she’s building the whole vibe around cannabis. Her mom and grandparents are not into it, and now they’re threatening not to attend as a protest. Meanwhile, OP’s fiancé likely just wants everyone to show up, mingle, and stop turning the reception into a debate club.
By the time the family refuses to come, the real question becomes whether this weed bar choice is about comfort or about control.
OP asks:
RedditOP likes to smoke weed, but hates alcohol
RedditShe wants a weed bar instead of an alcohol bar
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Her whole plan starts with OP saying she hates alcohol, then immediately gets challenged by mom and grandparents when the weed bar idea hits the group chat.
The context surrounding the bride's decision to prioritize a cannabis bar over a traditional alcohol bar reveals the complexities of personal experiences with substance use. Growing up in environments where alcohol was prevalent can deeply influence one's perception of intoxicants, often fostering a reluctance to include alcohol in significant life events such as weddings.
For this young woman, her choice is not just about preference but also a conscious effort to create a comfortable and safe emotional atmosphere for herself and her guests. By opting for a cannabis bar, she may be signaling a desire to break away from past associations with alcohol, reflecting a growing trend among younger generations who prioritize wellness and mindfulness in their celebrations.
Her family doesn't like the idea
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:
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Weddings are not just about the bride and the groom. If they want only things that make them comfortable, they should just elope and not have a wedding.
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That’s when the “just elope then” argument shows up, because the family believes weddings should cater to everyone, not just the bride’s preferences.
This is similar to the bride who cut her grandparents from the guest list over their outdated views on marriage.
The concept of social support plays a crucial role here.
When family members choose to protest rather than support, it can introduce feelings of isolation and conflict, which can be psychologically damaging.
Encouraging open dialogue about the reasons behind the choice of a weed bar versus an alcohol bar could foster understanding and lessen familial tensions.
Why are we not surprised?
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"Mom and grandparents are likely not the only ones who will dislike this"
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How are they going to mingle with their guests if they spend most of the time in that separate room?
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The awkward part is that OP’s family is basically planning to boycott the event, which makes the whole “mingle with the guests” problem real, not theoretical.
Behavioral psychologists have documented that societal norms heavily influence substance use patterns.
In particular, the stigma surrounding alcohol versus cannabis can lead to different social expectations and pressures.
Research indicates that creating an inclusive environment where alternative substances are accepted can promote healthier social interactions and reduce the risk of substance misuse.
Legal issues?
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This is probably true, and we are discussing a non-existing problem.
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So when the weed bar becomes the hill mom and grandparents choose to die on, the wedding stops being a celebration and starts being a standoff.
Weddings are a time for love, unity, and bringing families together. So while it's great to want to add personal touches to make the day memorable, it's essential to remember the bigger picture.
The idea of a 'weed bar' might be appealing to some, but if it's causing family drama, is it worth the headache? A good chunk of the Reddit community seems to lean towards a "no."
It's vital to strike a balance between what you want and what will make the day enjoyable for everyone. After all, you want your wedding to be remembered for the right reasons.
Practical solutions include establishing a family meeting to discuss concerns openly. This could help bridge the gap between personal choices and family expectations.
Incorporating educational elements about the effects of cannabis versus alcohol might also alleviate fears and misconceptions.
Utilizing resources like therapy or mediation could aid in navigating these complex family dynamics, ensuring everyone feels heard and respected.
The clash between personal preferences and familial expectations in wedding planning underscores the complexities of modern relationships.
If mom and her grandparents skip the wedding over a weed bar, they might end up proving OP’s point the hard way.
Want another family standoff? See whether OP should push the secret recipe at her sister’s wedding.