51 Grown-Ups Share the Most Hilariously Weird Fibs They Believed As Kids
Parents needed to lie to keep the harmony.
Some grown-ups swear they still remember the exact moment their parents turned “no” into a full-blown story universe. Not because they were trying to be mean, but because kids are chaos machines, and sometimes you need a ridiculous lie to keep the peace.
Like the mom who told a little red dot would appear on a kid’s forehead when they lied, so the kid learned to cover their face mid-whatever. Or the “candy witch” plan on Halloween night, where parents let the kids believe they’d only lose most of the candy, then woke up to presents so everyone stayed calm. And then there’s the mushroom “rule,” where kids stayed quiet because mushrooms would supposedly go back into the ground.
These fibs are funny, but the real kicker is how hard they worked, and how specific they were.
Keeping the little one from lying.
When I was really young my mom used to tell me a red dot (only visible to moms) would appear on my forehead when I lied. I used to cover my forehead when lying. Well played mom.. well played.
SatansPetGoatCandy witch
When I was a kid my parents told me and my brother about the candy witch. She was a nice witch who came on Halloween night when you were sleeping and took most of your candy, but left a present in return. So my brother and I got to keep 10 pieces of candy and the rest went to the candy witch, and when we woke up we had awesome presents waiting for us. And that’s how my parents got to eat all our candy and prevented us from eating a s**t ton. Super smart and will be using on my own kids.
kaseythedragon, PexelsHow to make a kiddo keep quiet
To be quiet when hunting mushrooms because they would go back into the ground. Was in my early 20s before I discovered it was a ruse to just get us to shut the hell up.
MethodMZA
This collection of childhood fibs unveils the intriguing ways children grapple with the complexities of their world. The article reveals how these tall tales often serve as cognitive tools, allowing kids to navigate the sometimes chaotic and confusing realities around them. The fibs shared by adults reflect a common coping mechanism, as children craft narratives that help them reconcile conflicting information encountered in their environment.
Moreover, the stories illustrate how deeply parental influence and societal expectations shape children's beliefs. The humorous yet poignant accounts reveal that kids often cling to fantastical explanations as a means to maintain peace of mind, showcasing the powerful interplay between imagination and the desire for understanding in the formative years of life.
Imagine believing this as a kid.
My grandma told us that smelling each other’s farts would give us enhanced strength and agility. Worst Christmas ever for us, funniest Christmas for her.
Donald_Keyman
Silly dad
We were on a road trip one summer and I asked my dad what the purpose of rumble strips was.He told me they were for blind drivers.
anon
Awww.
My father always said the animals on the side of the road were just taking a nap because the road was warm.
Donald_Keyman
Moreover, these fibs often reflect the emotional needs of children as they navigate their understanding of the world.
How to scare a kid into brushing their teeth
If we didn't brush our teeth before bed mice will climb into your mouth and eat the food between your teeth. That's why your mouth tastes gross in the morning when you don't brush, the mouse poops in there
canada_mike
From puppy to human
My son had a patch on his arm that was a hairy birthmark. I told him that he'd actually been born as a puppy and that gradually he turned into a boy. He lost his bark and used words instead, that he learned to walk on his back legs and to stop chewing bones and enjoy people food instead. The story was very elaborate, and then I dramatically grabbed his arm and pointed to the birthmark on his arm and declared this was the proof because it was the last bit of puppy skin left on him. He really believed it for a while and was delighted to have been a puppy.
Tobybrent, Pexels
Nice one Mom!
My mom always told my brother and I that the car couldn’t work if we didn’t latch our seatbelts. She even faked a break down and pulled over on the side of the road when she caught us trying to sneakily unlatch to test her claim lol
fiona_may_97
That red dot trick worked so well the kid basically developed a forehead-covering routine the second they started lying.
Interestingly, the role of parents in shaping these beliefs cannot be understated. Parenting styles significantly impact how children perceive reality and their ability to distinguish between truth and fiction. Research indicates that authoritative parenting, characterized by warmth and structure, encourages children to explore their thoughts and feelings safely.
Conversely, overly critical or dismissive parenting can lead to confusion and anxiety in children, resulting in a reliance on fibs as a defense mechanism. Understanding these dynamics can help parents create a supportive environment that nurtures honesty and emotional expression.
It makes you wonder what's in the basement.
Dad told me those were tomatoes he was growing in the basement. They were not tomatoes.
ghunt81, Canva
Dad's a genius.
Toys R Us is closed when the R is backwards.
keyser_sosaveme, JJBers
Elephant cocoons
Those big rolls of hay on farms...my dad always told us they were elephant cocoons.
hornedgirl
Fostering Resilience Through Honesty
To foster resilience, parents should encourage open communication about feelings and beliefs. Creating a safe space for children to express their thoughts can help them navigate their understanding of reality without resorting to fibs. Additionally, engaging children in discussions about their beliefs can lead to critical thinking and better emotional health, as they learn to differentiate between fact and fiction in a supportive environment.
Stopping kids from honking
That if I kept hitting the horn in the car, it would run out of 'beeps' and we'd have to buy a new one and we couldn't afford that. I didn't know any different until I was 17 and learning to drive..
anon
Poor kid.
My dad told my brother that growing in chest hairs is an excruciatingly painful process. Days later, as my brother walks past my dad in the living room, my dad clutches is chest and screams, "AAARRRGGHHHH! Another god damn chest hair!" Scared bro sh**less. He believed it until he grew in his own.
OneEyedWilson
Himicanes
My mom said they only named hurricanes after girls otherwise they would be himicanes.
Donald_Keyman, Pixabay
Fish = Aquatic Chicken
My sister hated eating fish when she was little, so whenever my parents fed it to her they told her it was "aquatic chicken". universal thing.
Frostillicus8711
How to make kids behave in a store
That the mannequins in clothing stores were kids who didn't behave and were taken to the "dungeon" in the store. Where they would promptly be made into a mannequin...
r35h93
The teacher got involved.
My parents when I was kid (starting from the time I was about 4), told me I was adopted from the zoo. Told my brothers and my entire family to tell me the same damn story. The reason they said this is because my tailbone sticks out farther than it should. (IT IS WEIRD. I KNOW IT. DONT MAKE FUN DAMN IT). So when my third grade teacher asked me to bring in a photo from where I was from. I moved to Florida from New york and I brought her a picture from one of the zoos up there. I explained the story about how my dad stole a monkey from the zoo. Cut off my tail just far enough so I became human.Needless to say she called my parents and they then had to explain to me i wasnt adopted from the zoo.
invincibleirondani
Hairballs
I was born with a full head of hair and my mom said that she knew I would have lots of hair because she would cough up hairballs while she was pregnant. It took until high school anatomy class for me to realize there is not a direct connection from your uterus to your throat. Also women don't cough up hairballs
tikiwooki, Pixabay
This “secret recipe” problem is like the cousin who wanted Grandma’s apple pie recipe to sell at her bakery, and the family fallout that followed.
The cake myth
My parents got divorced somewhat early on, so my mom spent years being a single mother with four kids. Unsurprisingly, we were poor and didn't have dessert all that much. When she would be able to bake a cake, we were forbidden to run or jump in the house because that would make the cake "fall" and be ruined. Of course we weren't willing to mess that up, so we would be quiet for an hour - which was exactly the intention.Only somewhat ashamed to admit, I was in my early twenties, relaying this "fact" to my girlfriend, when it hit me what she had done.
middleagedkid, Canva
Talking to mailboxes
My parents told me I had to tell the mailbox where a letter was going or else it wouldn't get there.They would watch and laugh as 5 year old me would talk to the big blue mailboxes.
Dang_it_KK
Maybe dad was just protecting them from the pain...
My dad told me my goldfish ran away.
Mirraklewhippn
9 o'clock is the new 12 o'clock
My parents used to set the clocks back on New Years Eve. For years we thought it was a special treat to stay up until "midnight" to ring in the new year, when really it was only 9 o'clock. I never saw the Times Square ball drop until I was 16!
sessnight
It sounds legit.
That the German for windscreen wiper was Flippenfloppenschmerenmachinen. It was a April fool that was believed for about 6 months
twovectors
Pirates aren't scary!
When I was little (think six or seven) I was terrified of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. It just so happened to be one of my dad's favorites. So, to help my sister and I get over our fears, he used some positive reinforcement. Every time we got on the ride, we would find a silver dollar next to us. Dad said the pirates had given us some of their treasure. It took me an embarrassingly long time to put two and two together. I thought every kid got treasure.
ederpin
They probably love to play with water.
When i was really young, my mum would unplug the bath and told me if i didn't get out before all the water had drained, i would get sucked down and have to live in the sewers...
User261
One big MJ fan.
If I misbehaved, Michael Jordan would retire. I remember so vividly the first time he retired. Then I did everything they told me and he came back out of retirement.
nursejoe74, D. Myles Cullen
Monkey eggs
My dad told me that kiwi fruit was actually monkey eggs.This led to a bunch of rotten fruit under my bed.
DoctorStein
Momma playing a prank
In order to get me to stop sucking my thumb when I was really young, my mom told me that if I kept on doing that it would turn red, then purple, and then fall off. I ignored her warning and kept on doing it.One night when I was sleeping, my mom dyed my thumbs red. I woke up freaking out but quickly resumed sucking my thumb. The next night she dyed it purple. I freaked out so bad I never sucked on it again.
ladypau29
Swedish New Year
One New Year's Eve when our daughter was about five, she decided that she wanted to stay up until midnight. By 9pm, she was overly tired and generally foul. By 9:30, we had enough. We explained to her that since her dad is Swedish, we celebrated Swedish New Year. Which we conveniently decided took place at 10pm. We all made it to bed by 10:30. For the next few years, we celebrated "Swedish New Year" until she was old enough to put the pieces together and realize that she had been lied to.
1boxfox, Canva
Preventing the mischief
When I was little I badgered my mom to look at something while she was otherwise occupied and she said "I am looking, I have eyes in the back of my head." For years after that I suspiciously examined the back of her head trying to find those hidden eyes.
cosmic_potato
Ask permission first, or else...
If I went outside without telling them where I was going, elves would kidnap me and only let me eat brocoli.
anon, Canva
Getting kids to eat the crust
As a way to get me to eat my crust when I was younger, my parents told me that eating it would make me whistle. Unfortunately, I believed this until I was 15 because I’m a dumbass.
SantaIsADoucheFag, Canva
Maybe this mom saw it coming.
When I was a kid I asked my mom what the word was for a female's private parts, and she told me it was "vagola". And then one day we were at a Thanksgiving dinner and my mom was being mean to me in front of my family, so I wanted to get back at her and yell something very inappropriate. Lets just say my family was very confused when I angrily yelled "VAGOLA!!!" to my mom at the dinner table.
Forgeworld, Canva
When a fib becomes a punchline
When my siblings and I were younger my parents would sometimes (usually weekend mornings) lock their bedroom door.One of us would almost always want to just come in and say what's up, but they would tell us through the door that they were in there talking about "Christmas presents."Be it June, August, s**t even January, it didn't matter - That was the go to excuse since it worked. They played our asses.Anyways, now all grown up, we kind of figured it out and it has become a punchline for our family now."Hey dad, did you get mom a good birthday gift? Hoping to have some serious discussions regarding our Christmas presents?"
Forgeworld
Tag team
When I was little, my mom told me that, if I touched a caterpillar, my head would swell to twice it's size. She got my older sister to confirm it as well, saying she saw it on the news. I believed this without question until I was 17 and my friend went to pick up a caterpillar. I said, "Don't! Your head will swell." As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I realized how stupid I was.
Idolized1
Dad knows everything.
My father didn't actively try but I was convinced that he knew everything. When I asked stupid kid questions like 'why is the sky blue?' or 'how does the sun shine?' he would whip out this long as ELI5-ish scientific explainations about them.If he didn't know he would change the subject, research it later and then would tell me. He f-ed up when he was in a bad mood.I was 6 maybe 7 and asking a generic question like 'what are we having for lunch?' It was the first time I've heard him say 'I don't know' and I was so shocked.I even exclaimed 'But Dad you know everything!' I was 100% convinced that he was omniscient and he could have kept that illusion for so much longer :(Still. Good job, dad, good job...
yunietheoracle
Bugs in the nose
My mom would tell me there were bugs in my nose when I had a cold to make sure I blew my nose.
App13hat
A scary story
I had 7 ~~younger~~ brothers, which kept sliding down the staires and they all died.I never slided down a stair. S**t is dangerous
LangesHolz
Momma was just messing with her kiddo.
My mom once told me that while she was reading at the beach a severed hand washed up onto her foot. I was horrified for YEARS until one day I brought it up and she said "Oh, I wasn't serious." No life lesson involved, just some mom f**kery.
RUGoin2TheMallLater
Stopping a kid from making silly faces.
My mom told me if I made weird faces, my face would get stuck that way.
_Black_Dahlia, Canva
Orange-newton
That orangutan was pronounced "Orange-newton".
janeyk
Gotta clean up those toys.
My mom told me that if I was a pack rat, that meant actual rats would come and make nests in my things.(I was about 7, and had been tossing toys and clothes behind a little couch in my room as a method of cleaning. After she told me about what being a pack rat meant, I tearfully knelt on the couch with a bent wire coat hanger, fishing things out, terrified of rats.)
StakeMeOutTonight
Many parents lie about the crust.
Bread crust is the healthiest part of bread so I had to eat it. I was like 25 when I figured that one out.
OnionsMadeMeDoIt
Keep your promise or lose your pinky.
If you break a pinky promise your pinky will melt off over night
MimicDeezNutz
Bellybutton problem
They said if anyone poked my bellybutton my butt would fall off, so whenever a family member would tickle me or try to poke my bellybutton I would cry and run away.
anon
Did this person do great in school after this?
Mess up in school and it will stay on your permanent record. That's the weirdest lie told to me by my parents.
MysteryVoter
Even the teachers got confused.
When asking what "Ped Crossing" meant on street signs, my parents told my sister and I that Peds were 2 headed dog beasts that were incredibly violent. They then proceeded to tell us vivid stories of their close encounters with these beasts and their narrow escape from death.
Needless to say, my teachers in school were quite confused when I tried to explain my fear of Peds.
NotTooDim
The connection between veggies and TMNT
If you don't eat your vegetables, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will die.
Donald_Keyman, Nickelodeon
Teaching good habits
My mom used to say: If I didn't cover my mouth while yawning, a bug would crawl into it. As stupid as that sounds, I still cover my mouth to this day. I hate bugs.
thatonedude0823
Every parent says this.
That I'm handsome.Literally everybody else disagree. Thanks mom.
broomsticks11, Canva
Meanwhile, on Halloween night, the candy witch story turned “we took your candy” into “you earned it,” plus your parents got to eat the leftovers in peace.
Then the mushroom lie hit in the early 20s, when someone finally admitted the “don’t talk or they go back into the ground” thing was just a shutdown strategy.
And at Christmas, the grandma’s “smelling each other’s farts gives strength” claim made the whole family treat the holiday like a weird strength-training event.
In a nutshell, parents telling little white lies is as common as peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Whether it's taming tantrums or keeping the magic alive, they've got tricks up their sleeves.
What lies told by your parents did you believe before? How many years did it take before you realized they were lying?
The exploration of childhood fibs in this article underscores the fascinating interplay between imagination and emotional growth.
Nobody ever forgets the fib that kept them quiet, fed them, or made Christmas feel like a threat.
Wondering if it is worth the Thanksgiving blowup, read why someone hid their family pie recipe from a nosy guest: Should I Have Shared My Familys Secret Pie Recipe at Thanksgiving Dinner?.
