Woman Doesn't Want Her Abusive Mom to Live with Her and Her Partner in Their New Home, Seeks Advice Online

We've heard about PTSD, but there's also something called CPTSD. In complex post-traumatic stress disorder (complex PTSD, commonly shortened to CPTSD), you may suffer from some symptoms in addition to those of PTSD.

These symptoms include an inability to regulate your feelings, feeling deeply resentful or mistrustful of the outside world, believing that no one can possibly understand what happened to you, avoiding friendships and relationships, or finding them extremely challenging, among other things. The OP of today's story suffers from CPTSD all because of her mom, and she's also bipolar.

She has physically and emotionally abused me for years. Her reasoning for this is that it's to discipline me, so discipline means I have to wear full-body cover-type clothes to hide my injuries because she hits me every day and left me alone for three years because she met someone online. I was 9!

OP's dad has had to do everything in the home because her mom wouldn’t lift a finger for him or anyone else, including the dogs! After three years, OP's dad is tired, completely done with this behavior, and wants a divorce.

OP's parents want her and her boyfriend to buy their house, but there's a problem—OP's mom wants to live with them. The OP is not comfortable with the idea, and neither is her boyfriend.

They are sure OP's mom would treat them like slaves, so she ran to the r/entitledparents subreddit community to seek advice.

OP writes

Reddit

OP told her dad that her mom wants to go back to the PH because she is happier there

Reddit

The Reddit post received hundreds of comments, and here are a bunch of them for you to read through below

Reddit

Understanding the Impact of Abusive Relationships

Dr. Karen Mitchell, a trauma psychologist at the University of Toronto, emphasizes the long-lasting effects of abusive family dynamics on mental health.

Her research indicates that individuals who have experienced familial abuse often struggle with complex emotional responses, including guilt and shame.

This complexity complicates their ability to establish boundaries and navigate new relationships.

OP should not buy that house

Reddit

She keeps calling the OP and sending texts

Reddit

Getting her to leave after buying the place will be difficult

Reddit

Research published in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence suggests that survivors of familial abuse frequently experience symptoms of complex PTSD, which can manifest as emotional dysregulation and difficulties in interpersonal relationships.

Understanding these dynamics is crucial for individuals seeking to establish healthier connections in their lives.

Recognizing the impact of past trauma can empower individuals to set boundaries and prioritize their well-being.

Can the OP block her number from her phone?

Reddit

This Redditor shares a similar story

As great as the idea is to buy the house from them, please set boundaries. My sister had a similar situation happen with our parents after their divorce. She never felt that the house was truly hers, and both our parents stayed living there months after the sale, at which point legal action had to be taken. Then, each time they visited, they always questioned the changes she was making to “their house.” In the end, she sold the place just to get some peace from the chaos that created.

Their advice is not worth considering

Reddit

Blood may be thick, but mud is thicker

Reddit

The Importance of Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is essential for individuals emerging from abusive environments. Research indicates that establishing clear boundaries can facilitate healing and promote healthy relationships.

Experts recommend that individuals engage in therapy to explore their feelings about boundaries and learn to communicate them effectively.

This process can empower them to reclaim their sense of agency and cultivate healthier interpersonal dynamics.

She's not working and likely not on a valid visa

Reddit

The OP should convince her to move to the Philippines

Reddit

The OP should decide what's best for her and her partner

Reddit

Additionally, building a supportive network can significantly aid in recovery. Support from friends, therapists, or support groups can provide validation and encouragement.

Research shows that having a robust support system can enhance resilience and emotional recovery, allowing individuals to navigate their challenges more effectively.

By fostering these connections, individuals can create a sense of belonging and safety that is crucial for healing.

The OP added an update saying:

She told me yesterday that I MUST tell my dad that she did not abuse me and that it was purely to discipline me. I said NO WAY; I told her that she hit me every day and that I had a lot of injuries because of that. Our neighbors could hear me crying! She denied that, obviously. I can’t wait to tell her she needs to get over herself and just go back to the PH.

And that's a wrap!

Psychological Analysis

This scenario highlights the complexities faced by individuals emerging from abusive family dynamics.

Recognizing the impact of past trauma is crucial for establishing boundaries and promoting healthier relationships moving forward.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In summary, understanding the psychological effects of familial abuse is essential for fostering healthier relationships.

By prioritizing boundary-setting and building supportive networks, individuals can navigate their recovery process more effectively.

Ultimately, addressing these underlying issues is key to creating healthier, more fulfilling interpersonal connections.