Woman Doesn't Want Her Abusive Mom to Live with Her and Her Partner in Their New Home, Seeks Advice Online

A 28-year-old woman is trying to move on, but her abusive mom is refusing to stay in the past. Instead of letting her start fresh with her partner in a new home, the mom keeps trying to insert herself back into the picture, like nothing ever happened.

Here’s the mess: OP told her dad her mom wants to go back to the Philippines because she claims she’s happier there. But in the meantime, the mom is still calling, still texting, and still acting like she’s entitled to be part of OP’s life and space after all those years of harm.

OP’s real problem is not just the house, it’s the constant pressure to give in.

OP writes

Reddit

OP told her dad that her mom wants to go back to the PH because she is happier there

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The Reddit post received hundreds of comments, and here are a bunch of them for you to read through below

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The moment OP told her dad that her mom is “happier” back in the Philippines, everyone started assuming the situation was handled, even though the mom kept reaching out.

The narrative surrounding the woman's decision to deny her abusive mother a place in her new home sheds light on the enduring psychological ramifications of childhood trauma. The article highlights the profound impact of abusive family dynamics on an individual’s mental health, particularly as they attempt to forge new relationships. The struggle with complex emotional responses, such as guilt and shame, is evident in her hesitation to establish boundaries. This internal conflict illustrates how deeply ingrained patterns from past experiences can complicate the present, making it difficult for individuals to prioritize their own well-being in the face of familial expectations.

OP should not buy that house

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She keeps calling the OP and sending texts

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Getting her to leave after buying the place will be difficult

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While OP is trying to settle into the new place with her partner, commenters point out that getting her abusive mom to leave after buying the home will be way harder than OP expects.

The article highlights the profound implications of complex post-traumatic stress disorder, particularly in the context of familial abuse. As mentioned, survivors often grapple with emotional dysregulation and face challenges in their relationships. This is particularly relevant for the woman in the story who is contemplating her mother's potential presence in her new home with her partner.

By acknowledging the impact of her past trauma, she is navigating the difficult terrain of setting necessary boundaries to protect her mental health. This awareness is not just about saying no but about prioritizing her well-being and fostering healthier connections in her life moving forward.

This is similar to the AITA fight where someone refused to move in with family for independence, even when they called it selfish.

Can the OP block her number from her phone?

Reddit

This Redditor shares a similar story

As great as the idea is to buy the house from them, please set boundaries. My sister had a similar situation happen with our parents after their divorce. She never felt that the house was truly hers, and both our parents stayed living there months after the sale, at which point legal action had to be taken. Then, each time they visited, they always questioned the changes she was making to “their house.” In the end, she sold the place just to get some peace from the chaos that created.

Their advice is not worth considering

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Blood may be thick, but mud is thicker

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With the mom still calling and sending texts, the thread zeroes in on practical moves like blocking her number, because boundaries are the only thing that stops the cycle.

Setting boundaries is essential for individuals emerging from abusive environments.

This process can empower them to reclaim their sense of agency and cultivate healthier interpersonal dynamics.

She's not working and likely not on a valid visa

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The OP should convince her to move to the Philippines

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The OP should decide what's best for her and her partner

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And then there’s the extra sting, another Redditor says their sister never felt like the house was truly hers once the parents got involved after a divorce.

Additionally, building a supportive network can significantly aid in recovery.

The OP added an update saying:

She told me yesterday that I MUST tell my dad that she did not abuse me and that it was purely to discipline me. I said NO WAY; I told her that she hit me every day and that I had a lot of injuries because of that. Our neighbors could hear me crying! She denied that, obviously. I can’t wait to tell her she needs to get over herself and just go back to the PH.

And that's a wrap!

The situation outlined in the article highlights the profound psychological effects of familial abuse, particularly as the woman grapples with the thought of her abusive mother moving in with her and her partner.

The woman's hesitance to welcome her mother into her new home reflects a critical step in her recovery journey. By prioritizing her emotional safety, she is taking action that many who have experienced similar trauma may find empowering.

Moreover, the emphasis on building supportive networks cannot be overlooked. It is through these connections that individuals can find strength and validation, enabling them to confront their pasts and foster healthier relationships moving forward. Addressing these underlying issues is essential for breaking the cycle of abuse and creating a more nurturing environment for oneself and loved ones.

The hardest part of a new home is keeping the old damage from moving in too.

Want another “comfort first” standoff, see how she chose peace over inheriting her family home with her sister.