AITA for declining a $50 party invite last minute?

AITA for backing out of a party last minute due to unexpected $50 fee? Colleague insists on payment for event with unclear details causing financial strain.

Damjan

Published in Interesting
23 Dec 2025

AITA for declining a $50 party invite last minute?

In the world of social gatherings, invitations often evoke a sense of camaraderie and shared experiences. So when a $50 price tag unexpectedly pops up, it's bound to raise some eyebrows. A Reddit user recently found themselves in a bit of a quandary after agreeing to attend a birthday party, only to be hit with a surprise payment request just a day before the event.

[ADVERTISEMENT]

The host, a former colleague’s adult child, had initially made it sound like a casual get-together, leaving our poster feeling blindsided by what seemed more like a cash grab than a celebration. The post quickly sparked a lively discussion about party invitation etiquette and cost expectations.

[ADVERTISEMENT]

Many commenters rallied behind the notion that if there’s going to be a charge for attendance, it should be clearly communicated upfront. Others shared their own experiences, highlighting the difference between casual gatherings among friends and more formal events where guests are expected to contribute financially.

As the conversation unfolds, it raises important questions about social obligations, financial boundaries, and the etiquette of party planning. Is it fair to expect guests to pay for an event they've only just learned about?

Or does accepting an invitation imply a commitment to any associated costs? Join the discussion and share your thoughts on this intriguing social dilemma!

Original Post

My former colleague’s adult child is having a birthday party and she invited me and another of my coworkers. I agreed (in June) and today she texted me that she needed 50$ by tomorrow (Sunday) to attend the party.

She did say that it was going to be a really nice event so I did expect to maybe pay for drinks, but I wasn’t intending to spend 50 dollars. I immediately got a weird feeling, as 50$ just seemed so expensive and the fact that she’s inviting old coworkers seemed like a cash grab.

I told her that I wouldn’t be able to make it and she said “you gotta pay to play sweetie”, as though I should’ve known that I’d be charged to party with her son who I’ve never met. My coworker is pissed off that I don’t want to pay to go, and is acting like I’m being cheap.

[ADVERTISEMENT]

She apparently doesn’t know anyone else who will be in attendance. Granted, the last time I went to a party it was in college and BYOB, so I’m not up on the etiquette.

The only other “events” I’ve been to have been birthday/graduation dinners where everyone paid for themselves plus the grad/bday guy or gal. My finances are kind of tight due to an upcoming trip, but I’m wondering if I should’ve just paid up since I told her I was going to go in the beginning.

AITA?

[ADVERTISEMENT]