Jelous Man Considers Stopping Child Support Payments Because He Needs To Save For "New" Kids

When a divorced man remarries, his legal obligation to pay child support for children from his previous marriage remains unchanged. The new spouse’s income is generally not considered when calculating child support payments, as the financial responsibility rests solely with the biological parents.

The amount to be paid for child support is typically determined by state guidelines, which primarily use the income of both biological parents and the custody arrangement.

The new marriage and any financial pressures of starting a second family, such as saving for a new home or having more children, do not legally justify unilaterally stopping or reducing payments for existing children.

OP and his ex-wife separated years ago when their two children were just babies. The kids live primarily with their mother, and OP maintains visitation when he is not working weekends.

OP has since remarried and has full custody of another child from a prior relationship. His current life involves a trailer home and a wife pushing him to save for a new property.

The balance of financial duties and personal desires felt strained but manageable until OP dropped off the children at his ex's new home.

Her new husband had built a beautiful, two-story house, a perfect setting with a mini-farm that seemed to offer an idyllic life for OP's children. Jealousy and financial pressure mounted, leading OP to a decision that could shatter his already fragile family relationship.

Read the full story below to find out all that transpired.

OP's kids have always lived with OP's ex and he sees them a few times a month

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He told the OP that he built the house by hand paycheck to paycheck

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He also set them up with a mini farm with a ton of animals

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Dr. Laura Berman, a well-known relationship expert, emphasizes the emotional complexities surrounding child support payments. She notes that feelings of jealousy can often stem from unresolved issues related to self-worth and financial security. Dr. Berman suggests that open communication with a former partner about financial responsibilities is crucial for mitigating resentments. By discussing feelings candidly, both parties can work toward a more equitable arrangement that acknowledges the needs of both parents and children involved.

Furthermore, she asserts that support discussions should focus on the children's welfare, promoting a healthier co-parenting dynamic.

Psychologists emphasize the importance of emotional intelligence in navigating family dynamics post-divorce. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship researcher, states that understanding one's feelings and those of others can lead to healthier interactions. Effective emotional communication can help reduce jealousy and resentment, making co-parenting easier. Gottman's research shows that families who engage in empathetic discussions often find resolutions that benefit all parties, ultimately enhancing children's emotional stability.

Encouraging shared parenting responsibilities can also strengthen relationships and foster a cooperative environment for children.

She got angry and told the OP that they were still his kids

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Let's head into the comments section and find out what other Redditors have to say about the story

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OP's children are his responsibility

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A family law expert highlights the potential long-term consequences of ceasing child support payments. Such actions could lead to legal repercussions, including wage garnishment or even jail time. This expert notes that while the desire to save for new children is understandable, legal obligations must take precedence. Additionally, it's important to consider the emotional impact on the existing children, as financial stability plays a significant role in their well-being.

Parents should explore alternative ways to manage finances, like budgeting or financial counseling, to ensure everyone's needs are met without sacrificing obligations.

The OP has more details and he revealed them in the comments...

My wife does work she just spends her whole paycheck on clothes, makeup and things. I work on the railroad 6 days a week. My wife also is a pure romance seller so she makes extra money on the side. We have two car payments which are expensive. The full coverage on both are expensive. She got a DUI and has a blow and go at 300 a month to have which is ridiculous and I pay for my son fully and we took a cruise to the Bahamas which was crazy expensive and I pay the child support. Plus I have debt from credit cards and medical bills for my kids because we pay 80/20 for medical and my kid had pneumonia. I am not good with saving money at all.

And the comments continues....

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The OP has two options

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It sounds very bitter

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Financial planners often recommend a detailed budget to manage child support alongside new family expenses. For instance, budgeting 10% of monthly income for child support can help alleviate financial strain. Experts suggest using tools like spreadsheets or budgeting apps to track income and expenses effectively. By planning ahead, parents can navigate their financial obligations without resorting to drastic measures like halting payments.

Additionally, consulting with a financial advisor can provide personalized strategies to balance supporting existing children while preparing for future family needs.

Petitioning the courts

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OP's text message ignited a disagreement that blurred the lines between financial obligations and personal resentments. OP’s demand to terminate child support, driven by comparisons to his ex-wife's stable life, exposes a crucial misunderstanding of parental duties.

The ex-wife’s angry response highlighted a fundamental truth: financial obligations transcend feelings of envy or the pressures of a second family. OP wanting to save for his own family does not erase the legal and moral responsibility to his existing children.

Yes, the OP was declared the AH, and that's where we draw the curtains.

Expert Opinion

This situation reveals how jealousy and financial stress can cloud judgment, leading someone to make irrational decisions about their responsibilities. The man's desire to redirect his financial resources towards a new family highlights a common psychological struggle—balancing personal desires with obligations. It's a classic case of trying to cope with feelings of inadequacy, where comparing oneself to others can lead to resentment and poor decision-making regarding one's own children.

Psychological Framework & Solutions

In summary, navigating child support obligations requires a delicate balance of emotional awareness and financial planning. Experts like Dr. Berman and Dr. Gottman stress the importance of open communication and emotional intelligence, which can significantly improve co-parenting relations. Moreover, practical financial strategies, such as budgeting and consulting a financial planner, can alleviate stress and ensure that obligations are met without undue hardship. Ultimately, fostering a supportive environment for children, regardless of family structure, remains paramount for their well-being and development.