Debating Whether to Share My Familys Secret Apple Pie Recipe for a Baking Contest - AITA?

A 30-year-old guy is known in his family for making the most ridiculous apple pie, the kind people talk about like it’s a family heirloom and not just dessert. The recipe has been passed down for generations, and he treats it like something sacred, not something you casually share.

Then Lily, his 28-year-old friend who says she’s “aspiring” and “serious” about baking, asks for the secret recipe for a local baking contest. At first, she accepts his polite no, but she quickly starts pressing, dropping hints that sharing recipes equals friendship and trust, and even inviting him to watch her contest run and taste her version. Now she’s texting him about tweaks and begging for feedback, while he’s stuck between supporting her dream and feeling like he’d betray his family’s trust.

Here’s the full story of the pie, the friendship, and the line he’s not sure he can cross.

Original Post

So I'm (30M) known in my family for making the most amazing apple pie. It's a recipe that has been passed down for generations, and I take great pride in it.

Recently, my friend (28F), let's call her Lily, who is an aspiring baker, asked me for my secret apple pie recipe. She mentioned she wanted to use it for an upcoming local baking contest she's entering.

For background, Lily and I have been friends for a few years, and she's aware of how much my family values this recipe. I hesitated when she asked, but I politely declined, explaining that it's a cherished family secret.

Lily seemed disappointed but understanding initially. However, things took a turn when she started dropping hints about how sharing recipes is a symbol of friendship and trust.

She even invited me to watch the contest and taste her version of the apple pie, assuming I'd eventually give in. As the contest date approaches, Lily has been more persistent, texting me about how she's tweaking her recipe and how she'd love my feedback.

She's also mentioned how winning this contest could kickstart her baking career. I feel conflicted.

On the one hand, I want to support Lily's dreams, but on the other hand, this apple pie recipe is a sacred tradition in my family. Plus, sharing it would feel like betraying my family's trust.

I honestly don't know if I'm wrong here. So AITA?

The Value of Family Recipes

Sharing family recipes often evokes strong emotions tied to identity and heritage.

Comment from u/SparklyUnicorn1234

Comment from u/BakingQueen99

Comment from u/FoodieJojo

Lily went from “can I have the recipe?” to “we’re basically friends so you should give it to me,” real fast after he said no.</p>

Once the contest date got closer, her texts about “tweaking” her pie made it feel less like advice and more like pressure.</p>

It also echoes the dilemma in a woman debating skipping her sister’s wedding amid family drama.

Sharing recipes can be a form of vulnerability.

Comment from u/CreativeCupcake888

Comment from u/ChefInTraining42

The worst part is she’s not just competing, she’s counting on him to show up, taste her version, and eventually fold.</p>

Now he’s stuck wondering if supporting her win is worth breaking the trust his family has built around that recipe for generations.</p>

How would you handle this situation? Let us know in the comments.

Ultimately, navigating the balance between tradition and friendships can be complex. Recognizing that recipes are more than just culinary instructions can help individuals understand the emotional stakes involved.

Effective communication is key; discussing feelings openly can lead to compromises that honor both personal histories and relationships. By approaching the situation thoughtfully, individuals can maintain their family traditions while also supporting friends in their culinary endeavors, creating an atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding.

This scenario brings to light the intricate balance between familial loyalty and the bonds of friendship.

He might be the bad guy for refusing to hand over pie history, but the family dinner did not end well.

Before you judge the pie secret, read how a dad’s doubts sparked a feud over his daughter’s art.