Is it wrong to have a wedding after already being legally married?
AITA for planning a wedding with my partner after a quick courthouse marriage for family reasons, despite objections from parents calling it tacky?
Courthouse weddings are supposed to be simple, right? In this Reddit post, a couple did the whole legal thing quietly, but now they are dealing with the fallout from wanting the “real” wedding moment they skipped.
Two years ago, the OP’s girlfriend and him were already planning an engagement when they rushed into a courthouse wedding. The reason was practical and urgent: his brother lost custody of his children, and getting married made it easier for the couple to adopt them. They didn’t even buy rings, and they rarely say “husband and wife” out loud. But now the girlfriend keeps bringing up how she missed a traditional proposal and wedding, so the OP wants to fix that with a ring and a full ceremony, even though they are technically already married.
The parents are not buying it, and now the OP is stuck between love, logistics, and a family calling it a “gift grab.”
Original Post
2 years ago, my girlfriend of 3 years and I had a courthouse wedding because my brother lost custody of his children and it was easier for us to adopt them if we were married. We were already planning our engagement, so we just did it so we could adopt the kids.
We didn’t even get rings and we don’t really call ourselves husband and wife. My partner has expressed multiple times that she’s sad that she missed out on a traditional proposal and wedding, so I decided to propose with a real ring and then we can plan a real wedding.
I told my parents about this and they said it was tacky and looked like a gift grab since we’ve technically been married for 2 years. I’m just trying to give my partner something she always wanted.
Am I the a*****e for throwing a wedding and having a proposal with someone I’m already married to?
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When the OP’s brother’s custody situation pushed the courthouse wedding into “now or never” mode, the whole timeline got weirdly complicated fast.
After two years of no rings and barely using the “husband and wife” label, the girlfriend’s dream of a proposal starts feeling less like a want and more like unfinished business.
That’s when the OP tried to do the right thing by proposing properly and planning a real wedding, and his parents hit him with the “tacky” accusations.
So now the question is hanging over the courthouse couple’s heads, because they are celebrating a ceremony for a marriage that already legally happened.
What's your opinion on this situation? Join the conversation!
He’s trying to give his partner the wedding she missed, but his own parents think he’s cashing in on it.
Before you decide, read how a five-year relationship imploded over $130,000 in student loans when he refused to hear her.
