A Five Year Relationship Hits A Wall Over $130,000 In Student Loans
She’s been clear about money, but he refuses to hear it.
A 28-year-old woman refused to move forward with marriage until her boyfriend handled his $130,000 student loan problem, and it instantly turned a “future plans” conversation into a full-on wall.
OP’s friend has been dating her for five years, and the loan is the sticking point that keeps pushing the wedding back. When he finally called OP to vent, he didn’t want to talk about budgets or reality, he wanted OP to agree that she’s stalling emotionally.
Here’s what happens when someone treats marriage like a feeling, and the other person treats it like math.
Let’s dig into the details
Reddit.comA bit of backstory
Reddit.comOP’s friend’s girlfriend has been clear that he must pay off his student loan. Interestingly, this discussion has delayed they marriage plans, and OP’s friend is confused
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He called OP to rant about being frustrated that she’s delaying to marry him. But despite OP’s effort to explain that the student loan is the reason, he refused to accept it
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We gathered some interesting comments from the Reddit community
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“NTA - Also, even with a prenup, I wouldn't want to be married to someone with that much debt.”
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This is similar to a sister refusing to babysit her siblings’ twins every weekend.
“NTA - and a prenup won’t be beneficial during their marriage.”
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“You're a good friend for letting him know, it's unfortunate that he isn't listening to her OR you.”
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“It sounds like she doesn't want to take on his debt and I don't think you're an AH for pointing it out.”
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“NTA. It's perfectly reasonable to not want to be saddled with another person's debt.”
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“Think the dude just didn't consider the debt to be a big deal, since he can make the minimal payments without any issues..”
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OP’s friend is stuck on the wedding delay, even though his girlfriend has been repeating the same $130,000 requirement for months.
The fight escalates because OP tried explaining the student loan angle, and the friend refused to accept it anyway.
Reddit commenters zero in on the fact that a prenup might not magically solve the debt issue during actual day-to-day marriage.
Now OP is stuck in the middle, watching his blunt honesty turn into a new excuse for the friend to ignore the loan problem.
OP’s friend keeps treating marriage as an emotional decision, while his girlfriend views it as a financial partnership that requires stability first.
OP didn’t introduce a new idea, he repeated what had already been said out loud multiple times. Sometimes honesty doesn’t change minds, it just removes the excuse to ignore reality.
Do you think OP helped by being blunt, or should he have stayed out of it entirely? Share your thoughts in the comments.
He might be the problem, but the debt is the real reason this relationship hit the wall.
For another family showdown, read about an OP who left in-laws out of vacation plans and got called out.
