Woman Asks If She Has Right To Be Upset After Friend Ditches Her For New Acquaintances

Some friendships feel like they come with a built-in code, until alcohol, a few new guys, and a sudden change of priorities rip it apart. In this Reddit post, a woman is stuck trying to figure out whether she’s “too upset” after her best friend ditches her for brand-new acquaintances at the bar.

OP and her friend have been inseparable since they were little kids, basically growing up side by side. After OP went through a brutal breakup, her friend offered to take her out, then abandoned her the moment she started meeting men. To make it worse, OP says her friend turns into a different person when she drinks, and leaving her alone at the bar put her in a scary, helpless position.

What began as a night out turned into an evening that ended with OP calling her father for a pick-up, and now she wants to know if her feelings are valid.

OP asks:

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Growing up together, two friends—a 23-year-old woman and her 24-year-old best friend—have shared countless memories since they were just five years old.

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OP had a bad breakup from a terrible relationship, so her friend wanted to take her out. But she abandoned her when she met some men.

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That “we came together, we leave together” vibe goes right out the window the second OP’s best friend starts gravitating toward new guys at the bar.

This situation reflects the complexities inherent in adult friendships, particularly during challenging life transitions.

OP posted a shorter version of the story:

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OP has offered the following explanation for why she thinks she might be the a-hole:

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Redditors feel bad for OP

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OP’s whole night flips when she’s left alone and ends up calling her father for a ride instead of getting comfort from the friend who promised support after her breakup.

This drama mirrors a woman who asked her best friend to move out after she pursued her crush.

From a psychological perspective, the emotional response of feeling upset when a friend ditches you for new acquaintances can be linked to attachment styles developed in childhood. A study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology indicates that individuals with anxious attachment may be particularly sensitive to perceived threats to their relationships.

This sensitivity can lead to heightened emotional responses and feelings of abandonment, even when the friend's behavior is not intended to hurt.

OP made things clearer, and it seems that her friend turns into a different person when she drinks.

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"Friends should NEVER leave friends alone at bars" - common sense and a safety issue.

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Code says - we came together, we leave together.

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And when OP finally gets the chance to talk later, the father’s lecture lands like a second punch, because the evening started with so much promise.

Coping with Feelings of Abandonment

To cope with feelings of abandonment or jealousy, it’s crucial to practice self-compassion and mindfulness.

Her friend wronged her—period.

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"A friend who ditches you for a guy isn’t worth it."

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Now OP is stuck replaying the moment her friend “turns into a different person” when she drinks, wondering if she’s the problem for still being hurt.

Feeling isolated, betrayed, and without a way home, the young woman had to resort to calling her father for a pick-up. The subsequent lecture from her dad added insult to injury, culminating in an evening that began with so much promise.

This story raises a multitude of questions. Is it ever justifiable to leave a friend, especially one in a vulnerable state, alone at a bar?

Does the intensity and duration of a friendship give license to occasional lapses in judgment? In conclusion, while people do make mistakes and no friendship is without its flaws, certain boundaries should never be crossed.

Loyalty, understanding, and especially safety should be paramount in any relationship. When these are compromised, it's essential to reassess and determine what lessons can be learned and whether the bond can be mended.

Practically, it may be beneficial for the individual in this scenario to communicate openly with their friend about their feelings. Establishing a dialogue can foster understanding and potentially lead to a more supportive friendship moving forward.

Additionally, seeking new social connections or engaging in activities that promote social interaction can help alleviate feelings of isolation and create opportunities for new friendships.

The situation presented highlights the intricate dynamics of adult friendships and the emotional turmoil that arises when loyalty feels compromised. The young woman's feelings of betrayal after her friend prioritizes new acquaintances over their long-standing relationship are valid and shed light on the fragile nature of trust in friendships. As the article illustrates, these types of emotional responses are not uncommon and signify a deeper need for communication.

By encouraging open dialogue about feelings of neglect and insecurity, both friends can work towards a more stable and understanding relationship. This approach not only helps in addressing immediate concerns but also lays the groundwork for a more resilient friendship that can withstand future challenges.

OP might not be asking for much, but she’s definitely not wrong to want her best friend back.

Wait, it gets worse, read how a friend ditched concert plans for a crush, AITA for ditching my best friend after prioritizing a new crush.