Mom Fails to Emotionally Manipulate Her 18-Year-Old Son into Giving Her His $2,000 Social Security Check So She Could Go on Vacation

Playing the "family card" to get what you want from your relatives is emotionally manipulative. Horrible people hide behind their biological status to explain away their otherwise unacceptable behavior.

It can take years for people to stop falling for this excuse repeatedly. Some learn to put up boundaries early on.

One of those lucky few is this 18-year-old Reddit OP. A lot of changes have been happening in the young OP's life.

His mom and stepfather recently legally separated. The OP is also about to graduate from high school and is looking forward to moving out of his mother's house.

Their family's lifestyle significantly changed after their parents' separation. OP's stepfather is paying for their home expenses as well as his own apartment expenses.

Meanwhile, OP's mom is studying to be a licensed therapist. She found a part-time job working for $15/hour to supplement their income.

OP has been saving for a long time and plans to move out the week after he graduates. All his ducks are in a row, but he is anxious about living independently and making ends meet.

His mom recently revealed that she has been receiving government assistance since his biological father's death in 2007. Since OP is 18 now, the thousand-dollar monthly assistance will go directly to an account in his name.

His mom said she has been relying on that money to pay their bills and feed their family, which OP understood.

Reddit

OP was willing to part with his money but changed his mind once he saw his mom's frivolous spending.

Reddit

Once she got OP's word about keeping the money, she started to make vacation plans with her friends, looking for a car, and dining out with her pals almost every night.

Reddit

The Role of Financial Stress in Family Dynamics

This situation illustrates the often complex interplay between financial stress and familial relationships. Financial difficulties can create significant emotional turmoil, leading to manipulative behaviors as individuals attempt to navigate their circumstances.

Research published in the Journal of Economic Psychology indicates that financial strain can exacerbate interpersonal conflicts, leading individuals to resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms.

To OP, this showed that his mom isn't doing that badly financially. Besides, his siblings get to keep their checks; why can't he? Would he be the a**hole if he chooses to keep his money?

Reddit

She will only have stolen from OP if she keeps the money he receives after he turns 18. The money they received when they were minors was presumably used to supplement the cost of raising them.

Independentinfilm, Atex3330

How many months of checks is OP still expecting to receive since he is already 18?

MitaJoey20

Additionally, this scenario highlights the psychological impact of perceived scarcity. Behavioral economists note that when individuals feel financially insecure, it can trigger a survival mentality that leads to self-serving behaviors and a lack of empathy for others.

Studies show that scarcity can distort decision-making processes, often causing individuals to prioritize immediate needs over long-term relationships.

The money will stop once OP graduates high school in two months. $2,000 is a lot of money, especially for a young person who is just starting out.

Gothmom85, [deleted]

Is she terrible at handling money, or is she manipulating OP?

birchsaurus

OP needs to put his foot down now, before his mom makes this her MO.

Consistent-Walrus-85

Addressing Manipulative Behaviors with Compassion

To navigate these challenges, experts recommend fostering open discussions about financial realities within families. Creating a safe space where family members can express their concerns can help reduce feelings of shame and encourage more supportive dynamics.

Research shows that families who engage in open communication about finances often experience less conflict and a greater sense of unity.

He has to make sure that his mom has no access to the account where his subsequent SS checks will be deposited.

trappergraves

In the two months before he graduates, OP can make a deal with his mom about his fair contribution to the household.

britneybaby345

OP said he would have been willing to give his money up, but he doesn't believe what his mom says anymore. Seeing her spend the way she does led him to think that they are not struggling and that she just wants to take advantage of him.

[deleted]

Moreover, establishing financial boundaries can help alleviate tensions. Setting clear expectations about financial contributions can create a sense of accountability and mutual respect.

According to studies, families that practice clear financial agreements report improved satisfaction and reduced conflicts related to money.

If she insists on OP contributing to their expenses, OP needs to see their bills and calculate how much he needs to share. After all, four people are living in their home.

Reasonable_racoon

What kind of therapist is his mom training to be? She seems so sketchy.

dazed1984

OP is already suspicious that his mom is treating him unfairly compared to his siblings.

nychv

Why was she only taking OP's money and not her other children? Did she demand the same thing from her older child?

The answer seems to be no, which must be irritating for OP. Redditors were on OP's side and wished him a speedy move-out date.

Psychological Analysis

This scenario illustrates how financial stress can lead to manipulative behaviors within families, often driven by a survival instinct. Recognizing these patterns is essential for addressing underlying issues and fostering healthier interactions.

Open communication about financial challenges can help families navigate these turbulent waters together.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

This situation underscores the significant impact financial stress can have on family dynamics. As noted in psychological studies, addressing these issues openly is crucial for fostering healthier relationships.

Ultimately, promoting transparency and accountability around financial matters can help mitigate conflict and enhance familial bonds.