Teenager Tells Her Mom To Stop Giving Her Food Away To Her Friends, Calls Her Out Online And Redditors React

"I don’t know if you guys have to deal with parents like this"

The more you mature, the more you come to see that your parents are flawed human beings who often make mistakes. Although no parent is flawless, the rest of the family may feel particularly burdened if the mother has issues with alcohol abuse.

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Despite your hurt or rage at the decisions she has made, you may still want to assist her. It might be challenging to know how to assist if you have no prior experience with alcohol addiction or alcohol use disorder (AUD).

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Alcohol addiction, also known as alcohol use disorder (AUD), is a chronic disease in which a person is unable to regulate or stop drinking despite the detrimental effects it has on their relationships and health. However, AUD prevents a person from quitting drinking by simply "deciding to quit," as addiction alters the chemistry of the brain.

Despite the fact that people have been drinking alcohol for thousands of years all across the world, not every drinker develops AUD. We're not sure if the OP's mom has AUD, but she has been drinking since the 16-year-old OP was born, and that's a very long time.

So, OP's mom receives government assistance, but ever since the OP started getting older, her mom has completely stopped helping her. The OP had to get a job to fend for herself, but her mom keeps taking her belongings and giving them away. 

The OP kicks off her story

The OP kicks off her storyReddit/Kpopstan27
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OP's mom gets paid money for her from the government but she stopped caring for her ever since she started getting older

OP's mom gets paid money for her from the government but she stopped caring for her ever since she started getting olderReddit/Kpopstan27
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OP's mom cooked it and gave some to her friend, and she also ate some, which upset the OP

OP's mom cooked it and gave some to her friend, and she also ate some, which upset the OPReddit/Kpopstan27

Parental Influence on Adolescents

Dr. Jennifer Smith, a developmental psychologist, emphasizes that parental behavior significantly influences adolescent self-esteem and autonomy.

Her research indicates that when parents prioritize their own needs over their child's, it can lead to feelings of neglect and resentment.

In this case, the teenager's frustration is a reflection of her need for independence and respect within the family unit.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

I feel like I might be the a-hole for being so harsh, but I also feel like I am not the asshole because my mother has done this my whole life. She would not want to do anything with me or help me because she would be too busy with her friends and never had time for family.

And the comments from other Redditors roll in...

And the comments from other Redditors roll in...Reddit/Kpopstan27

Learning how to hide your assets and money from your mother

Learning how to hide your assets and money from your motherReddit/Kpopstan27

It can be difficult to try and draw the line

It can be difficult to try and draw the lineReddit/Kpopstan27

Studies published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence suggest that adolescents often develop their identities in response to parental expectations.

When parents fail to recognize their child's individuality, it can lead to emotional conflicts and rebellious behavior.

This highlights the importance of recognizing and valuing children's autonomy in family dynamics.

The OP owes it to herself to report her mom to the appropriate authorities

The OP owes it to herself to report her mom to the appropriate authoritiesReddit/Kpopstan27

Contacting the state and letting them know she's misusing the money

Contacting the state and letting them know she's misusing the moneyReddit/Kpopstan27

All that money is for the OP's support, and she shouldn't have to work

All that money is for the OP's support, and she shouldn't have to workReddit/Kpopstan27

The Impact of Social Media on Family Dynamics

Social media can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and comparison among adolescents.

Research indicates that constant exposure to peers can lead to unrealistic expectations about personal relationships, including family dynamics.

This can create additional pressure on teenagers to assert their independence in ways that may seem disrespectful to parents.

OP's mom now sees her as a meal ticket

OP's mom now sees her as a meal ticketReddit/Kpopstan27

The OP should open a bank account and start saving to get out

The OP should open a bank account and start saving to get outReddit/Kpopstan27

She's not getting groceries with them anyway

She's not getting groceries with them anywayReddit/Kpopstan27

Therapists recommend fostering open dialogue about social interactions and expectations.

Encouraging adolescents to express their feelings about parental actions can help bridge gaps in understanding.

Creating a supportive environment where teenagers feel heard can strengthen family bonds and improve communication.

OP's mom doesn't have to reach "rock bottom" to receive assistance if she has an alcohol problem. A parent-child bond, however, is special, but it seems the OP lacks that with her mom.

Although the OP might be concerned that bringing up her mother's shortcomings will make her angry, ignoring it will eventually worsen their relationship. She was ultimately declared not the AH.

Psychological Analysis

This scenario highlights a common tension between parental expectations and adolescent autonomy.

It's crucial for parents to recognize their child's need for independence while fostering open communication to enhance mutual understanding.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

The relationship between parents and adolescents is often complex and requires careful navigation.

As Dr. Shefali Tsabary, a renowned parenting expert, states, "When parents respect their child's autonomy, it fosters a sense of trust and emotional security." This approach can lead to healthier family dynamics and improved emotional well-being.

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