My Boyfriend Keeps Taking My Debit Card: AITA for Being Upset?

Some relationships have petty fights over dishes, but this one is way messier. A 37-year-old woman says her boyfriend keeps reaching for her debit card like it is a shared utility, even though she is already covering most of the bills.

They both work the same job, same hours, but she pays the electric, sewage, and groceries twice a month, plus she has started buying his lunches for work. Meanwhile, he only has to cover water and a computer payment plan, and she still wakes up to her card being taken constantly.

It is not just annoying, it is a pattern, and now she wants to know if she is the problem for being furious.

Original Post

So like the title says my boyfriend will not watch his money and take my debit card. We are both 37 and work at the same job, same amount of hours only difference is I work nights, he works evenings.

I pay the electric (150+), the sewage (40+), buy ALL the groceries (175 twice a month) and even started buying his lunches for work and yet again I woke up to my card taken. This happens constantly. He only has to pay water (40+) and bought his computer on a payment plan (120) and already paid off our daughters flute (50).

I have the larger portion of things that have to be paid and this is always happening. So AITA - Not a s**t post I have been told over react constantly and I am trying to make sure this isn't me doing it again.

edit- Some spelling I really did just wake up.

Comment from u/Due-Faithlessness

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This also echoes how one couple stood up to family pressure over an arranged marriage, choosing love anyway.

Challenging Traditional Norms: Standing Up for Love over Arranged Marriage

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The post kicks off with her waking up again to her debit card being taken, and it is happening “constantly” despite the fact she is already paying the big bills like electric, sewage, and groceries.

It gets more complicated when she lists what he actually pays, water plus that computer payment plan, while she covers everything else and even buys his lunches.

Then she points out the timeline of his “payments” like the daughters flute being handled by him, but the card grabbing still keeps happening.

By the edit and the comments, the real drama is clear, she is trying to stop herself from “over reacting” while her boyfriend keeps treating her card like it is his backup wallet.

How would you handle this situation? Let us know in the comments.

Nobody wants to feel like they are funding the relationship with their own debit card.

For another fairness fight, read how one sibling questioned sharing their elderly dad’s care.

Debating Fairness in Caring for Aging Parent: A Sibling Dilemma