WIBTA If I Choose Not To Pressure My Son Into Family Therapy With His Estranged Father

A 39-year-old woman is stuck in the kind of family drama that sounds small until it blows up in everyone’s face. Her ex, the father of her 16-year-old son, suddenly wants family therapy and reconciliation, even though he spent years offering basically nothing. Now he’s showing up with a “let’s fix this” attitude, but the kid is not buying it.

The timeline is brutal. The parents bothered her partner in the past, so he agreed to weekend visits, but he never actually showed up. The son has been watching his father’s absence for years, and he’s blunt about it: his father does not give a shit. The mother suspects it might not be some sudden emotional awakening, but his new wife pushing for a cleaner, more presentable storyline.

The mother has to decide whether to respect her son’s refusal, or risk turning her relationship with him into the next casualty.

My partner (M40) and I (F39) dated in college

Originally, his parents bothered him, so he agreed to weekend visitations but never visited.

That’s when the weekend visitation agreement turns into a full-on trust issue with the 16-year-old refusing to even step into the same room as his “sperm donor.”

The mother's concerns about pressuring her son into therapy reflect a delicate balance between parental responsibility and respect for autonomy.

This respect can foster a sense of agency and empowerment in children.

My ex wasn't abusive or a morally bankrupt person

He said he doubts his father "gives a shit about him."

Before we turn to the community's opinions, let's summarize the situation: A mother grapples with her ex's sudden desire for reconciliation through family therapy, driven not by past paternal instincts but possibly by his new wife's influence.

Her 16-year-old son, having faced years of his father's indifference, expresses no interest in such sessions, feeling they are insincere. Now, let's explore various perspectives from the community on this family's challenging circumstances.

Your kid is sixteen. He doesn’t want to have anything to do with his sperm donor.

I can’t imagine how forcing him to do this would be beneficial.

Meanwhile, the ex’s new wife’s influence keeps popping up, because the timing feels too perfect for someone who “never visited.”

It’s the same kind of hard boundary decision as when you suspect your sibling of stealing from you, and you consider asking them to move out, WIBTA?

Moreover, the decision to engage in therapy often requires navigating complex emotional landscapes.

Your ex only cares because this makes him look bad to his new wife.

Your son saw through him and his wife. His loss.

The comments basically line up around one point, if the kid already sees the father’s motives, forcing therapy will just confirm the betrayal.

Encouraging open dialogue about therapy can help demystify the process for the child.

My mother nearly damaged her own relationship.

And the mother’s real fear is that pushing him could cost her the relationship she’s worked for, not just the appointment.</p>

The mother's predicament highlights the delicate balance between parental expectations and the emotional autonomy of her son.

Now that you've read about this mother's challenging decision and seen what others think, what's your view? Should she encourage her son to attend family therapy with his father, or is respecting his current wishes the right path?

What actions would you take if placed in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and join the discussion below.

Additionally, exploring alternative therapeutic options that align with the child's interests may increase their willingness to participate.

The hardest part is choosing between one more session and keeping her son’s trust intact.

Before you decide what to share, see what happened when a coworker took credit for your project idea, and you refused to give it away.