Roommate Refuses Basic Hygiene: AITA for Asking Them to Move Out?
AITA for considering asking my roommate to move out due to their refusal to follow basic hygiene practices during a pandemic?
A 28-year-old woman refused to keep playing nice after her 27-year-old college roommate treated basic hygiene like a suggestion, not a shared responsibility. For two years, they split the rent evenly and kept things mostly calm, until the pandemic turned “relaxed” into “dangerous.”
OP says her roommate rarely sanitizes high-touch surfaces, often skips handwashing and masks in shared spaces, and shrugs off repeated conversations. Then a close friend, who is immunocompromised, visits the apartment, and the roommate shows up to the situation with zero precautions, leaving OP furious and embarrassed.
That’s when OP snapped and told them to move out if they can’t commit to hygiene during a global health crisis, and now she’s stuck wondering if she crossed the line.
Original Post
I (28F) live with my college friend (27NB) in a two-bedroom apartment we've shared for two years. We split rent evenly, and things were going well until the pandemic hit.
While I've always been conscientious about cleanliness and following health guidelines, my roommate has been more relaxed. For background, my roommate often disregards basic hygiene practices like not washing hands frequently, not wearing masks in shared spaces, and rarely sanitizing high-touch surfaces.
Despite multiple discussions about the importance of these measures, they continue their habits, claiming it's their personal choice. Recently, one of my close friends, who's immunocompromised, visited our apartment.
My roommate didn't bother sanitizing the common areas or wearing a mask, which made my friend uncomfortable. This incident deeply upset me as I value the health and safety of those around me.
I've reached a breaking point and feel that my roommate's actions are not only disrespectful but also potentially endangering others. So, I confronted them and suggested they move out if they can't commit to basic hygiene practices during a global health crisis.
They were defensive, accusing me of overreacting and imposing my views on them. Amid the tension, I'm torn.
Am I overstepping by asking my roommate to leave, or am I justified in prioritizing health and safety in our shared living space? I honestly don't know if I'm wrong here.
Health and Hygiene Insights
Maintaining hygiene is not just a personal preference but a collective responsibility, especially in shared living spaces.
Comment from u/LuckyStar_88
Comment from u/coffeelover23
Comment from u/RapidThunder77
That “personal choice” excuse stopped flying the moment OP’s immunocompromised friend walked into a common area that wasn’t sanitized.</p>
It's essential to approach the conversation with empathy, acknowledging that their habits may stem from different upbringing or beliefs.
Creating a non-confrontational environment encourages open dialogue. Emphasizing shared values, like health and safety, can help foster cooperation and understanding between roommates.
Comment from u/kiwi_ninja
Comment from u/sunsetDreamer
Comment from u/RiverSongFanatic
After the visit, OP finally confronted the roommate, and the vibe went from tense to full-on defensive.</p>
It also echoes the AITA where OP’s parents rejected their partner’s cultural practices.
Communication Strategies
Comment from u/snowflake_123
Comment from u/dreamer0120
Comment from u/starlight_melody
The roommate pushed back hard, calling OP an overreactor, even though the high-touch surfaces and masks were the exact issue.</p>
Therapists often recommend establishing boundaries to maintain healthy living arrangements.
Setting specific guidelines—like showering frequency and cleaning shared spaces—can alleviate tensions. It's also beneficial to revisit these agreements regularly to ensure both parties remain comfortable.
By collaboratively drafting a hygiene agreement, roommates can foster a greater sense of respect and consideration for each other's needs.
Comment from u/moonlight_wanderer
Now OP is weighing whether asking them to move out was justified, or just another fight waiting to happen in a two-bedroom apartment.</p>
What are your thoughts on this situation? Share your perspective in the comments below.
In the context of shared living arrangements, the refusal of one roommate to adhere to basic hygiene standards presents a significant challenge for maintaining a healthy environment.
Implementing regular discussions about cleanliness and hygiene practices can lead to improved living conditions and foster a sense of mutual respect. This proactive approach is essential, especially when considering the heightened awareness of health and safety in our current climate.
Ultimately, prioritizing hygiene is not just about personal preference; it is a commitment to the well-being of all individuals sharing the space, particularly in a world still navigating the aftermath of a global health crisis.
This scenario underscores the delicate balance between personal freedom and shared responsibility, particularly in the aftermath of a global health crisis. The roommate's resistance to basic hygiene practices presents a clash between individual autonomy and the collective need for a safe living environment. This conflict is especially relevant given the heightened awareness of health and safety during a pandemic. It becomes essential to approach these sensitive matters with empathy and open dialogue, as differing personal habits often reflect deeply ingrained beliefs and upbringing. The Reddit user’s plea for change is not merely about cleanliness; it represents a broader struggle for mutual respect and understanding in shared living situations.
If the roommate won’t meet basic hygiene standards, OP might be happier living with someone who actually respects shared space.
For another family blowup, see why she refused Thanksgiving hosting after her newborn.
