Should I Exclude Dad From Family Trip Over Extreme Backpacking Insistence?
Wondering if excluding her dad from the family trip due to his extreme wilderness backpacking insistence makes her the jerk - what's your take?
A 29-year-old woman just wanted a peaceful mountain getaway, but her dad showed up with a whole different plan: “survival training” in the wilderness, no amenities, and foraging like it’s a movie montage.
Her family is split down the middle. OP and the rest of the crew want cozy cabins, nature walks, and actual downtime, while her 57-year-old dad is pushing extreme backpacking as a bonding experience. And the worst part? He’s not just enthusiastic, he’s refusing to compromise, even though everyone else is worried about safety, missing supplies, and the stress of trying to “rely solely on ourselves and nature” on a family vacation.
Now OP is stuck deciding whether excluding her dad would protect the trip, or blow up the family dynamic for good.
Original Post
So I'm (29F), and my family is planning a summer trip to the mountains for a much-needed getaway. Quick context: my dad (57M) is a big fan of extreme wilderness backpacking - the kind that involves navigating rough terrains, camping without amenities, and foraging for food.
He's always been passionate about pushing boundaries, but the rest of us prefer a more relaxed, comfortable vacation. The conflict arose when my dad insisted that this family trip should be all about 'survival training' in the wilderness, where we learn to rely solely on ourselves and nature.
While he finds this exhilarating, the idea scares the rest of us. We were hoping for a peaceful retreat with nature walks, cozy cabins, and quality time together.
Despite our concerns, my dad is adamant about his extreme plans, claiming it's a bonding experience that we'll thank him for later. However, we're worried about safety, lack of proper supplies, and the stress it might cause during what should be a relaxing holiday.
Given the divide in preferences and his refusal to compromise, would I be the a*****e for considering excluding my dad from our family trip to ensure everyone's comfort and enjoyment? I want to respect his interests, but I also want a trip that accommodates everyone's needs.
So WIBTA?
The Clash of Adventure and Comfort
This family trip highlights a classic clash of preferences: the father’s love for extreme wilderness backpacking versus the rest of the family's desire for a more relaxed vacation. The OP's struggle isn't just about whether to invite him; it's about balancing her dad's passion with the group's comfort. This kind of dynamic often surfaces in families where one member's extreme interests overshadow the collective experience. It raises the question: at what point does one person's hobby become disruptive to the group's enjoyment? Excluding her dad could lead to feelings of resentment, while accommodating him might alienate the rest of the family. It’s a tightrope walk that many can relate to—how do we honor our loved ones while still respecting our own boundaries?
Comment from u/AdventureSeeker99
Comment from u/CabinLife4Ever
Comment from u/WildernessDreamer
That’s when OP realizes her dad’s “bonding” idea is basically the whole itinerary, not a fun side activity.
The cabin-and-nature-walk crowd is already tense, because dad keeps framing his extreme plans as something they’ll “thank him for later.”
Why Exclusion Feels So Heavy
What adds weight to the OP's dilemma is the emotional layer tied to family dynamics. Exclusion feels like an ultimate rejection, especially when family trips are often viewed as bonding experiences. The OP’s hesitation reveals a conflict that many readers likely resonate with: the fine line between asserting personal needs and maintaining familial harmony. It’s a situation that can lead to guilt, particularly when considering the father’s enthusiasm for his chosen activity.
Moreover, the Reddit community's reactions reflect a broad spectrum of opinions, showcasing how different family structures handle such conflicts. Some support the OP’s choice to prioritize comfort, while others might argue for compromise. This divergence speaks to the deeply personal nature of family relationships and the varying expectations we hold for shared experiences.
It echoes the AITA where someone skipped family camping over their partner’s fear of the outdoors.
Comment from u/MountainMaven22
Comment from u/OutdoorsyDad101
Comment from u/ComfyCabinFan
Meanwhile, OP’s fear is less about discomfort and more about safety, like what happens when the family is stuck without proper supplies.
The Community Reaction Speaks Volumes
This Reddit thread has sparked a lively debate, illustrating just how relatable the OP's situation is. Readers are weighing in not just on the merits of including the dad, but also on what it means to prioritize one’s own comfort over family unity. Some commenters argue that the father's insistence on extreme backpacking shows a lack of consideration for the family’s diverse needs. Others point out that perhaps he deserves a chance to share his passion, even if it’s not everyone's cup of tea.
This division highlights a common struggle in familial relationships: when does following one person's passion become a burden for the rest? The discourse showcases how multifaceted family vacations can be, and why these decisions often lead to broader discussions about compromise, individual wants, and the importance of togetherness.
And since her dad won’t budge, OP has to decide if she’d rather exclude him than watch the trip turn into an endurance challenge nobody signed up for.
What are your thoughts on this situation? Share your perspective in the comments below.
Final Thoughts
Ultimately, the OP's predicament underscores the complexities of family dynamics, especially when individual interests clash with collective desires.
In this scenario, the daughter's dilemma reflects a common tension in family dynamics where differing interests collide. Her father's insistence on an extreme backpacking experience likely stems from his passion for adventure and a desire to bond through shared challenges. However, this passion can overshadow the family's need for a more relaxed atmosphere, highlighting the struggle between one person's enthusiasm and the group's comfort. Ultimately, her consideration of exclusion reveals her attempt to balance respect for her father's interests with the well-being of the rest of the family, illustrating the fine line many navigate in familial relationships.
If dad wants survival training, he might need to find teammates who actually want the wilderness bootcamp.
Want another tough family decision, read whether she should exclude dad for a cross-country drive.
