Should I Exclude My Brother from Our Family Trip?

AITA for refusing to let my brother join our family trip unless he pays his share? Opinions are divided, but I stood my ground.

Damjan

Published in Interesting
29 Dec 2025

Should I Exclude My Brother from Our Family Trip?

A trip to visit a beloved aunt was supposed to be simple, sweet, and full of birthday vibes. Instead, it turned into a math problem, a budget argument, and a whole lot of side-eye between siblings.

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OP planned a March trip with her mom, her husband, and their two kids, and they even included the brother in the original cost breakdown for the already-booked Airbnb, gas, food, and souvenirs. The brother initially said he could not make it, because his schedule would not work, and he and the aunt are not exactly close, they “barely tolerate” each other and usually end up fighting. Then, out of nowhere, he announced he might be able to join, laughed when OP calculated his share, and insisted their mom would cover him.

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Now OP is wondering if she went too far when she told him he cannot come if he will not pay his fair share.

Original Post

My aunt moved to another state last year. It was hard and me and my mom and we have missed her terribly.

My mom and I started planning a trip to go visit her in March around my birthday. Originally it was supposed to be my mom, me my husband, and our two children.

When we started planning we included my brother as we were making a budget to see how much each of us would have to save for shared expenses like the air bnb, gas, and food. As well as any souvenirs we may want.

My brother said he didn't think he would be able to make it work with his schedule so he would pass. Also he and my aunt have never been close.

They barely tolerate one another and almost always end up getting into a fight. Suddenly last week my brother says hes gonna see if he can make it work so he can come with us.

I was taken aback.

I did the math and told him how much his share of the air bnb (which is already booked btw) would be. He laughed and said "its cool, mom will cover me." Mind you this grown boy works a full time job, doesn't pay rent, pays no bills, nothing. He kept talking about all this stuff he wanted to go do, places he wanted to see, etc.

And every time I reminded him it costs money he would just come back with "its cool, you or mom can pay. The kids would love it anyway." That's when I finally snapped.

I told him if he didn't plan to pay his fair share of things then he wasn't going. This wasn't a free vacation for him.

He huffed off and has been avoiding me. Reactions seem pretty split.

Our step-dad and mom agrees with me that I was in the right. But his friends, and select family members he's told say I'm being a jerk for telling him be can't go see his aunt.