Should I Stop Teaching My Parents Tech After Criticizing My Career? | Reddit AITA
Struggling with family criticism of your tech career while they seek your help - would it be wrong to refuse teaching them?
A 28-year-old tech worker is getting hit with the most awkward kind of family irony: his parents insult his career, then immediately expect him to be their personal tech support hotline.
At a family gathering, they went off about tech workers being “replaceable” and “overpaid,” which stung because it’s not just a job to him, it’s his livelihood. Now they’re asking for help again, but this time it’s not the usual troubleshooting, it’s learning new technology like he hasn’t been emotionally side-eyed since that dinner conversation.
Here’s the problem, he’s not sure whether teaching them would be petty, or worse, rewarding the exact attitude that hurt him.
Original Post
I (28M) work in tech, and it's been my passion and livelihood for years. My parents, on the other hand, are not tech-savvy at all.
They often ask me for help with their devices, setting up accounts, troubleshooting, etc. I've always been patient and happy to assist.
However, recently during a family gathering, they made some hurtful comments about tech workers being replaceable and overpaid. It really stung.
Now, they're asking me for more help with learning new technology. I feel conflicted.
I don't want to be petty, but I also can't shake off their comments. Teaching them feels like I'm supporting their views.
WIBTA for refusing to teach them technology anymore, given their criticism of my career choice?
The Irony of Criticism
This story highlights a classic irony: the very people who criticize the OP's career are now reliant on him for tech support. It's almost comical how his parents, who see tech workers as overpaid and replaceable, expect him to drop everything to help them navigate the latest gadgets. This situation isn't just about technology; it's a clash of values and generational perceptions about work and worth.
The OP's hurt feelings are valid. How can one feel appreciated in their career when the very family that should provide support questions its legitimacy? It’s a complicated web of love, expectation, and professional choice that many readers can relate to, especially in an age where technology is both revered and scorned.
After that gathering where his parents trash-talk tech workers, every “can you help me with this?” request starts to feel personal instead of normal.
Comment from u/TechGeek1337
NTA. It's understandable to feel hurt by their comments and not want to engage with them on tech anymore.
Comment from u/RandomRamblings23
Bruh, parents can be so insensitive sometimes. It's like they don't see how their words affect us.
Comment from u/JellybeanDreamer
YTA. They're your parents, cut them some slack. Teach them a little patience and forgiveness.
Comment from u/TacoTuesday88
NTA. If they want your help, they should respect your profession. You're not obligated to teach them.
The moment they ask for help setting up accounts and troubleshooting devices again, the OP has to decide if he’s swallowing disrespect or drawing a line.
Comment from u/CrimsonComet99
I get where you're coming from, OP. It's tough when family criticizes your passion, but maybe a conversation about how their words hurt could help.
This is similar to the Redditor debating whether to skip family gatherings to protect their mental health after criticism.
Comment from u/CloudWatcher42
Honestly, I'd feel the same way if my parents belittled my career choice. NTA for setting boundaries.
Comment from u/MoonlightMelodies
NTA. Teaching them now might feel like you're condoning their hurtful comments. Stand your ground.
In the comments, the split is immediate, one person calls him NTA for protecting his feelings, while another says he should cut them slack because they’re his parents.
Comment from u/DogLover555
Parents can be so old-school sometimes. NTA for wanting to protect your boundaries.
Comment from u/PizzaIsLife12
Comment from u/StarGazer24
NTA. Your feelings are valid, and it's okay to take a step back if it's causing you distress.
Then the argument circles back to the exact mess of it all, they criticized his career, but they keep showing up with the newest gadget that needs fixing.
How would you handle this situation? Let us know in the comments.
The OP’s dilemma resonates deeply because it speaks to a broader issue many face: how to balance family expectations with personal boundaries. When family members criticize your career at a gathering, it’s not just an offhand comment; it can feel like a direct attack on your identity. The OP's frustration is palpable when he questions whether he should continue helping parents who belittle his profession.
This situation ignites a broader conversation about respect across generations. Should he continue to support them despite their dismissive attitude? It’s a moral gray area that many readers find themselves in, leading to a split opinion in the comments. Some advocate for standing firm, while others suggest compassion in helping family, regardless of their views.
The Bigger Picture
This story underscores the often messy dynamics of family relationships, especially when it comes to career choices.
The Bigger Picture
The Reddit user's conflict with his parents reveals a deep-rooted tension between personal identity and familial expectations. Their dismissive comments about his tech career not only hurt him but also put him in a position where helping them feels like endorsing their negative views. This irony—his parents relying on someone they criticize—shows the complexity of family dynamics and the struggle to maintain self-respect while also supporting loved ones. It's a relatable scenario that many readers can empathize with, highlighting the balancing act between love and self-assertion.
The family dinner did not end well, and now the OP is stuck deciding if his time should come with conditions.
Want another take on family criticism? See how they handled constant parental comments at gatherings.