Woman Shares Her Entitled Mom's Response All Because She Wanted To Skip Thanksgiving
"I know she didn’t mean it, but I’m bitter about it anyway"
A 28-year-old woman refused to play along with her mom’s Thanksgiving power move, and it blew up fast. One sharp comment turned into a full-on “fine, I won’t come” moment, and suddenly the holiday plans were held together with pure resentment.
Here’s the messy setup: the men supposedly show up just in time to eat, then lounge around drinking and watching football, while the women do the heavy lifting. OP and her mom are already tangled in family roles, and when OP asked to skip or change the plan, her mom fired back with an all-or-nothing line that made it sound like OP wasn’t welcome at all.
Now OP has to decide if she’s protecting her pride or proving her mom right, and the comments are not going to be gentle.
The OP writes
RedditThe men show up just in time to eat, then sit around drinking and watching football
RedditThey were coming for dinner at the same time as the boys do
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That’s when OP’s mom’s “don’t come at all” line landed like a sentence, not a slip of the tongue.
Balancing Family Dynamics
By openly discussing roles and responsibilities, families can encourage a more equitable distribution of tasks.
Creating Positive Family Traditions
By incorporating diverse activities that appeal to all family members, such as potluck dinners or collaborative cooking sessions, families can shift away from rigid expectations. This not only fosters a sense of togetherness but also allows for shared responsibility, making the holiday experience more enjoyable for everyone.
"If you hate spending time with me so much then just don’t come at all.”
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The OP knows she didn’t mean it, but she's bitter about it anyway
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Meanwhile, everyone is already used to the men drifting in for dinner while the rest of the family handles the work and cleanup.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:
Mom and I got in an argument, and out of frustration she said I shouldn’t come to Thanksgiving dinner, so I have decided that I’m not going. That might make me the a-hole because I know Mom didn’t mean it, and I know how important it is for her to have everyone together for the holiday.
And if you think skipping Thanksgiving is bad, read about the guy who took his date to a pool bar, then cleared the table.
And the comments from other Redditors roll in...
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They expect the OP to clean?
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OP's mom is used to everyone bending to her will
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What should work wonders is...
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The OP stood up for herself
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It's the mother dearest for me
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OP's mom made it all or nothing
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So when OP stood her ground and chose not to show up, commenters immediately started calling out the “everyone bends to her will” pattern.
By the time people labeled it “all or nothing,” OP’s Thanksgiving became less about food and more about who gets to control the room.
The article highlights the emotional turmoil that can surface during Thanksgiving gatherings, particularly for those who feel overwhelmed by familial obligations. In an environment where traditional roles often dictate the burden of cooking and cleaning, it is essential for family members to prioritize emotional support and understanding. When individuals feel heard and validated, they are less prone to react defensively to misunderstandings that may arise during these high-pressure situations.
To enhance communication within families, the piece emphasizes the importance of active listening. This involves not just hearing but truly understanding what others express by summarizing their thoughts and seeking clarification when necessary. By cultivating a culture of empathy, families can significantly reduce the tensions that frequently accompany unmet expectations and ensure a more harmonious holiday experience.
OP's mom seems to like control
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The outcome of OP's decision remains uncertain, and the future of her relationship with her mother hangs in the balance. As the days go by, OP waits to see if her mom will reach out and apologize or try to make amends.
The silence is deafening, and OP is torn between feeling guilty and feeling relieved. OP's choice to prioritize herself may lead to a more balanced connection or a wider rift, and only time will reveal the results of her actions.
Is it okay for OP to not attend Thanksgiving because of her personal needs apart from the drama with her mother? Kindly share your thoughts in the comment section.
This situation highlights how family dynamics can create pressure and expectations that lead to conflict.
The story of a woman sharing her entitled mother's response to her desire to skip Thanksgiving illustrates the intricate web of family dynamics that often surfaces during the holiday season. The article reveals how entrenched expectations, particularly around traditional roles in cooking and cleaning, can lead to conflict. This highlights the necessity for open communication within families, as the clash of expectations can create tension instead of the intended festive spirit.
By advocating for flexibility and encouraging honest dialogue, families can work towards a more collaborative atmosphere that honors individual needs and preferences. Transforming these gatherings from obligatory chores into shared experiences can not only alleviate feelings of entitlement but also strengthen familial bonds, ultimately paving the way for a more harmonious celebration. This situation serves as a reminder that Thanksgiving can be redefined in a way that respects everyone’s contributions and desires.
The family dinner did not end well, because one sentence about skipping Thanksgiving turned into a whole war.
Wait until you see how Dad swindled Redditor out of Mom’s will, then played victim.