Struggling Friend: AITA for Keeping My Cheating Wifes Affair a Secret?

"Struggling with loyalty and betrayal: AITA for concealing my friend's affair from her husband to spare him heartbreak?"

Davy

Published in Interesting
August 8, 2025

Struggling Friend: AITA for Keeping My Cheating Wifes Affair a Secret?

In a complex web of friendship and betrayal, one Reddit user finds themselves grappling with a moral dilemma that has left them torn. The user, a 36-year-old individual, recently discovered that their longtime friend Sarah, who is married to Jeff, has been engaging in an extramarital affair with another mutual friend, Steve.

Despite the shock and disappointment of uncovering this deceit, the user has chosen to keep this distressing secret from Jeff to shield him from the potential devastation of the truth. Navigating the delicate balance between loyalty to a friend and the moral obligation to reveal the painful reality of infidelity, the user seeks guidance from the Reddit community.

As Sarah pressures them to arrange more group gatherings that would inevitably involve Jeff, the user grapples with feelings of hypocrisy and anxiety. Despite their internal conflict, the user questions whether their decision to remain silent makes them the antagonist in this intricate situation.

As the Reddit thread unfolds, users weigh in with varied perspectives, ranging from empathetic understanding to firm calls for honesty and transparency. With judgments of "NTA" (Not The A**hole), "YTA" (You're The A**hole), and "ESH" (Everyone Sucks Here) swirling around, the moral compass of the user is put to the test.

The advice and opinions shared by fellow Redditors reflect the complexity of human relationships and the challenging terrain of ethical decision-making in the face of heart-wrenching circumstances.

Original Post

So I'm (36M) and I'm in a tough spot right now. Quick context: my friend Jeff (38M) and his wife Sarah (35F) have been having marital issues for a while now.

Sarah and I have been friends for years as well. Recently, I found out that Sarah has been cheating on Jeff with another mutual friend, Steve (37M).

They were trying to keep it quiet, but somehow I stumbled upon texts between them that made it crystal clear what was going on. As much as I was shocked and disappointed, I couldn't bring myself to break this news to Jeff.

For background, Jeff is a very emotionally fragile guy and I know this revelation could completely shatter him. So, I decided to keep this secret to myself to protect Jeff from the pain.

I've been avoiding hanging out with them all together to avoid any awkward situations, but I feel like a hypocrite every time I see Jeff. Recently, Sarah has been pressuring me to set up more group hangouts, and it's making me extremely anxious.

I know keeping this secret goes against everything I stand for, but I can't bring myself to be the one to destroy Jeff's world. So AITA?