Man Asks His GF For Money And Gets Shocking Reply, Intends To Stop Driving Her To Work
“Never mind, if it's a problem, keep it.”
It started with a simple favor, a ride to work and a little financial ask, and somehow it turned into a full-on relationship reality check. A guy (OP) was happily helping his girlfriend, mostly because he did not want her walking, and he figured that kind of support was what partners did.
Then he asked her for money, or at least expected her to help out, and she stopped replying entirely. No explanation, no follow-up, just silence, and now he feels taken advantage of. The messiness gets even worse because the “I need rides” part comes with its own backstory: she says she is too anxious to learn to drive after her family supposedly yelled at her when she made mistakes, yet she has not even taken the written test.
Now he is stuck wondering if he is the a-hole, or if he is finally done being her unpaid chauffeur.
The OP writes
Reddit/ComputationalerrorsThe OP happily obliged to help his girlfriend as he didn’t want her to walk
Reddit/ComputationalerrorsShe stopped replying entirely, which has the OP feeling somewhat taken advantage of
Reddit/Computationalerrors
OP was fine driving her at first, but the moment she went silent after his money request, the whole “favor” felt different.
This scenario highlights the complexities of emotional responses to financial requests within relationships.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:
I think I may be an a-hole for feeling upset that my girlfriend wouldn’t give me money, and I may become an asshole if I stop giving her rides to work because of that.
We've gathered some of the most upvoted comments from other Redditors for you to read through below
Reddit/Computationalerrors
Good on the OP for recognizing his emotions
Reddit/Computationalerrors
She is not behaving like a partner
Reddit/Computationalerrors
The silence hit harder because OP says he already let her use his car, covered by full coverage, so she could practice driving and not just rely on him.
Studies show that financial discussions often bring underlying relational tensions to the surface.
The OP shouldn't drive his GF to work anymore
Reddit/Computationalerrors
She doesn't fully respect and appreciate the OP
Reddit/Computationalerrors
The OP reveals why his GF can't drive at her age
She is “too anxious” to learn to drive. She claims it's because when her family tried to teach her beforehand, they would yell at her for making mistakes.I've never done that to her and offered to let her use my car, which I pay for full coverage on, so she can practice. I’ve personally taught her on a couple of occasions. She won't even go take the goddamn written test for the permit.
Telling her that's not enough gas
Reddit/Computationalerrors
That “too anxious to learn” excuse gets tangled in the fact that she still refuses to take the written test for the permit.
Practical Approaches to Financial Communication
To foster healthier financial communication, couples can benefit from setting regular check-ins to discuss their financial situations and expectations.
Utilizing collaborative approaches, such as budgeting together, can help both partners feel invested and valued in financial decisions.
Additionally, approaching financial discussions with empathy and understanding can reduce defensiveness and promote constructive dialogue.
The OP has a right not to give her a ride
Reddit/Computationalerrors
What kind of relationship does the OP have?
Reddit/Computationalerrors
A good relationship is built on honesty
Reddit/Computationalerrors
And when the comments start saying he should stop driving her to work, OP has to decide whether he wants to keep paying in rides for a relationship that will not even respond.</p>
This situation illustrates how financial disagreements can often mask deeper emotional issues within a relationship.
The OP said that he tried to tell his girlfriend that if he were in her shoes, he would never say something that rude, but apparently, she doesn’t consider what she said to be rude. She says that is her “being honest,” so the OP is guessing she doesn’t understand where he's coming from.
Redditors dissected the whole issue, and the OP was declared not the AH.
Trust is a foundational element in financial interactions among couples.
The situation presented in the article highlights the complexities of financial discussions within relationships.
He might be happier when his car is for him, not for unanswered texts.
Before you decide what to do next, read WIBTA when a struggling friend was asked to repay emergency money.
