Man Gets Roasted For Always Leaving His GF During The Holidays To Be With His Family
"When she doesn't come along, she stays home by herself"
A guy on Reddit thought he was doing the “right thing” by spending every holiday cross-country with his family. Instead, his girlfriend turned the spotlight on something that sounds small, but hits hard: she doesn’t have a big holiday tradition of her own, and she’s been watching him leave, year after year.
The argument starts with a simple comment that lands like a punch. His girlfriend says she’s glad he can spend time with his family, but also points out that he’s “always gone,” which makes it feel like their relationship is getting sidelined at the exact moment the holidays are supposed to be about togetherness. OP insists it’s not a fight, and even admits he used to travel, then claims she encouraged him to go because she wanted him to make better memories with his family.
Then the real roast begins, because Redditors were not buying the “it works out” explanation.
The OP kicks off his story saying:
RedditOP's girlfriend has a small family and doesn't really have holiday traditions
RedditOP's gf made a comment about not having any of their own traditions because he's "always gone"
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They've chatted about the issue and she says she's glad he can spend time with his family
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That’s when OP’s girlfriend’s “you’re always gone” comment stopped sounding like casual holiday talk and started sounding like a pattern.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:
I always travel cross country for the holidays. I might be the AH because I've never stayed home with my girlfriend for the holiday.
Let's head into the comments section and find out what other Redditors have to say about the story
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The OP should stay back and make some tradition of his own
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No amount of gifts can make up for being callous
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OP's gf is also correct in her stance
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OP tried to smooth it over by saying she can work remotely during the holidays, so he leaves and she still gets time with him, sort of.
This gets messy like the neighbor feud, after someone swapped Christmas tree lights for disco ones.
But other Redditors dragged him for never staying home with her, arguing that gifts and goodwill do not replace being present.
The OP left this information in the comments
She's a mix of remote and in office. During the holidays she can be remote, so it works out ok.I did go for the holidays those years, but she said I should go so I don't miss out on my family time. She said I'd have better memories if I went and enjoyed my family instead of staying home and watching her be sad. I thought it was really sweet that she was encouraging me to spend time with my family. That's one of the things I love about her, she makes space for things that are important to me.
Most functional couples alternate between families
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The OP should have traditions that is just for the two of them
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This Redditor believes the OP is a narcissist
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She was unable to travel due to health issues
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Even the sweetest detail, where she told him to go so he wouldn’t miss family time, still left people calling out the lack of “two of you” traditions.
As a partner, you need to set rules and boundaries that safeguard your family, your relationship, your spouse, and yourself. Redditors agreed that the OP wasn't doing what he's supposed to do as someone who has a partner but he was living up to standards on his family's side.
In the end, he was declared the AH, and you can leave your own verdict in the comments section below.
Now OP is stuck wondering if his holiday routine is the reason his girlfriend feels like she’s always waiting.
Still not over it? See what happened when Secret Santa gifts turned disastrous for everyone.
