Should I Befriend My Bosss Ex to Get Revenge on Her for Dating My Coworker?

A 28-year-old woman refused to keep things strictly professional after her boss’s messy love life crashed into her workplace. At a small marketing firm with a strict no-dating rule, she watched her coworker Mark quietly slide into a secret relationship with their boss, Sarah, and the whole office started feeling the fallout.

Then Sarah’s breakup drama got weaponized in real time. At a team dinner, Sarah brought her ex, Alex, as her plus one, claiming he was just a “friend from yoga.” Our OP clocked him instantly, felt that hot, betrayed anger, and ended up chatting him up anyway, leading to Alex slipping her his number.

Now she’s stuck between two ugly paths: a revenge friendship that could blow up her job, or a connection that might not stay contained.

Original Post

So I'm (28F) and have been working at a small marketing firm for about 2 years now. The company has a strict no-dating policy, but that didn't stop my coworker, Mark, from starting a secret relationship with our boss, Sarah.

Mark and I have been close friends since college, and he confided in me about the relationship, which honestly made me feel really uncomfortable. I noticed that Sarah started giving Mark preferential treatment, which caused tension among the team.

Quick context: Sarah recently went through a messy breakup with her ex, Alex. They split on bad terms, and Sarah often vented about their issues at work, which made everyone aware of their history.

Last Friday, we had a team dinner, and Sarah brought Alex as her plus one, introducing him as a friend from her yoga class. I immediately recognized him and felt a surge of anger knowing that Sarah was parading him around like nothing happened.

Feeling betrayed by the whole situation, I struck up a conversation with Alex, pretending to be oblivious to their past relationship. Over the course of the night, Alex and I hit it off surprisingly well.

We discovered a shared love for hiking and indie music, and I felt a growing connection with him. Toward the end of the dinner, Alex discreetly slipped me his number and suggested we meet for coffee sometime.

Now, I'm torn. On one hand, I feel like befriending Alex could be a way to get back at Sarah for dating Mark and causing disruption at work.

But on the other hand, I'm aware that this could escalate the drama and potentially jeopardize my job. Mark is unaware of my interactions with Alex, and I'm scared to tell him because I don't want to lose his friendship.

So AITA for considering pursuing a friendship with Sarah's ex to spite her and Mark?

The Dangerous Game of Office Politics

This situation raises serious questions about how far someone might go for revenge, especially in a professional setting.

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After Sarah rolled out Alex at the team dinner like he was no big deal, OP’s anger turned into a private conversation with a very familiar face.

Friendship vs. Professionalism

The OP's conflict between loyalty to Mark and the ramifications of his relationship with Sarah is a classic moral dilemma. On one hand, Mark might genuinely care for Sarah, but on the other, the OP is caught in a turbulent mix of personal feelings and workplace rules. This scenario echoes a common theme in many workplaces: when personal relationships interfere with professional responsibilities, things can get messy fast.

Readers might resonate with the OP's frustration, feeling torn between supporting a friend and adhering to workplace ethics. The community's reaction could easily split between those who empathize with the OP's emotional turmoil and those who question the wisdom of plotting revenge instead of addressing issues directly.

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The moment Mark started getting preferential treatment, OP already knew the workplace tension was real, not just office gossip.

It’s the same kind of office fallout as the employee who considered exposing a coworker’s secret affair after being snubbed for a promotion.

The Ripple Effect of a Love Triangle

This love triangle doesn't just impact the OP, Mark, and Sarah; it could create a ripple effect throughout their entire workplace. The introduction of personal relationships into a professional environment can lead to uncomfortable situations, gossip, and even decreased productivity. With the pressure of a no-dating policy, the stakes are even higher. What might seem like a personal matter quickly becomes a collective concern for the team.

Consequently, the OP's attempt to befriend Sarah's ex could backfire spectacularly. If the rest of the team perceives them as manipulative, it could damage their reputation and relationships within the workplace. The balance between personal vendettas and workplace harmony is precarious, and this story illustrates that perfectly.

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With Alex texting her after bonding over hiking and indie music, OP has to decide whether this is romance or just revenge with better timing.

Why Readers Are Divided

The community's reaction to this situation is particularly revealing.

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And because Mark is completely unaware of OP’s late-night connection with Alex, any move toward Sarah’s ex feels like it could detonate the whole office.

What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.

Why This Story Matters

This story highlights the intricate dance of personal motivations and professional ethics, leaving us to ponder what we’d do in the OP's shoes. As they navigate this convoluted web of office relationships, it raises an important question: is seeking revenge ever worth the risk, especially in a workplace where dynamics can shift overnight? How do you balance personal feelings with professional consequences?

What It Comes Down To

The actions of the 28-year-old woman in this story reveal a deep-seated frustration with the favoritism she's witnessing in her workplace. Sarah's relationship with Mark not only breaches the firm's no-dating policy but also disrupts team dynamics, leaving the protagonist feeling uncomfortable and betrayed. By contemplating a friendship with Alex, Sarah's ex, she’s not just seeking revenge; she’s trying to regain a sense of agency in an environment where she feels sidelined. This situation underscores how personal relationships can complicate professional settings, often leading to choices that might escalate drama rather than resolve it.

If OP plays this like revenge, the only person who might not get hurt is the guy who already knows how to keep secrets.

Before you plot revenge on Sarah, read whether dating Mark’s ex is “wrong” after an amicable breakup.