Should I Confront My Friend for Flirting with My Crush After I Confessed Feelings?

A 28-year-old guy finally worked up the courage to confess to his mutual friend, and she turned him down gently, saying she only sees him as a friend. That part alone would sting, but then the real gut punch showed up in the group chat equivalent, hanging out with everyone together.

Since his confession last week, Chris, the 27-year-old friend who supposedly knows the whole backstory, has been “subtly” flirting with her. Think lingering looks, inside jokes that feel pointed, and unnecessary physical contact, all happening while OP is trying to keep things normal and not make the friend group explode.

Now OP has to decide whether he should confront Chris and risk drama, or swallow it and watch the situation get worse.

Original Post

So I'm (28M) and I've had a crush on a mutual friend (30F) for months now. We've all been hanging out as part of our wider friend group, and I finally mustered up the courage to confess my feelings to her last week.

Unfortunately, she let me down gently, saying she only sees me as a friend. I accepted that, trying to move on and maintain our friendship.

However, I've noticed that since then, my friend Chris (27M) has been subtly flirting with her whenever we're all together. It's not overt, but the lingering looks, inside jokes, and unnecessary physical contact are definitely there.

It's making me feel uncomfortable and like he's not respecting my feelings or the situation. For background, Chris has known about my crush on her for a while, so it's not like he's unaware.

He's always been a bit competitive, but this feels like crossing a line. I'm torn between wanting to call him out on his behavior and not wanting to create drama within our friend group.

I don't want to come across as possessive or controlling, but I also don't want to feel disrespected in my own circle of friends. So, Reddit, WIBTA if I confronted Chris about his actions?

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It’s similar to the question in a friend flirting with your crush right in front of you, even after you confessed.

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Right after she told OP she sees him only as a friend, the group hangs out changed tone, and Chris started acting like the rejection was a green light.

Every time they’re all together, those lingering looks and extra touch from Chris make OP feel like he’s being sidelined in his own circle.

And since Chris has known about OP’s crush for months, the “I didn’t realize” excuse doesn’t really work here.

So the question becomes whether OP calls Chris out now, or lets the flirting keep happening while everyone pretends it’s “just friendly.”

What are your thoughts on this situation? Share your perspective in the comments below.

If OP doesn’t address it, Chris might keep pushing the line until the friend group has to pick a side.

Before you confront Chris, see what happened when a friend started dating your crush.

this dilemma of unspoken rules and hurt feelings.