Man Gets Dragged To Filth For Threatening His Daughter And Making Her Break Up With Her Boyfriend

College students have to deal with the pressure of managing their social lives and academics for the first time on their own. Living at home with your parents or later supporting a family cannot compare to the special independence of college, which is why so many individuals take advantage of the opportunity to try new things.

The OP of today's story has a daughter who reached out to him in order to attend a good college. You see, the OP and her ex separated when she was still pregnant due to personal reasons.

The OP didn't get to contact his daughter, as he cut contact with her and her mother back then until she contacted him again. This was when she was 17, and she informed the OP that her mother had passed away.

She then asked the OP if he could take her in, as she wanted to go to a better senior high school and college for her future. During this time, the OP remarried her now-stepmother.

When OP's daughter got into college, she met a guy from her class. They hit it off quite well, and she was dividing her time between the OP, her friends, studies, work, and her boyfriend.

The daughter's boyfriend came to meet them, and the OP's wife instantly disliked him. She convinced the OP to make his daughter break up with him, but that didn't end well. 

The OP writes

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The OP was devastated not knowing that her mother passed away

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Understanding Parental Authority and Control

In parenting, the struggle for authority often leads to conflicts, especially during adolescence when children seek independence. According to developmental psychologist Dr. Diana Baumrind, there are different parenting styles that influence how authority is exercised, including authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive approaches. The father’s decision to threaten his daughter reflects an authoritarian style, where control is prioritized over dialogue and understanding.

This approach can escalate conflicts and lead to resentment, as children may view threats as a challenge to their autonomy rather than a protective measure.

OP's wife thought being punctual is a high standard to have

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OP's daughter is always happy to give more time and effort to her boyfriend

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

For making my daughter break up with her boyfriend over how she should focus on work and her studies.

They broke up, and OP's daughter hasn't been the same since

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And the comments from other Redditors roll in...

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Research shows that threats can have detrimental effects on parent-child relationships. A study in the Journal of Family Psychology indicates that coercive tactics can damage trust and open communication, leading to increased rebellion among adolescents. This dynamic highlights the importance of fostering a supportive environment where children feel safe to express their feelings and concerns.

The OP abandoned his daughter

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She is now in a happy place

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The OP left this update

So, I talked to my daughter without my wife being there, and as you guys probably expected, she couldn't salvage their relationship, and she found out that he cheated on her. So now, I told her to tell me anything without my wife being there, or she doesn't have to know. I apologized to her profusely, and she said she's mostly pissed at my wife for what happened. For now, we decided to have more father-daughter bonding time to make up for everything. As for my wife and me, I'll have to have a serious talk with her later tonight.

They can mend the relationship

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Accepting the wife's paranoia

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Fostering Healthy Communication

To improve the relationship and address conflicts constructively, parents can adopt strategies based on Dr. John Gottman’s principles of emotional intelligence. Engaging in open discussions about feelings and decisions can help build mutual respect and understanding. Instead of resorting to threats, the father could express his concerns and explain why he believes the boyfriend is a poor choice, creating an opportunity for dialogue rather than conflict.

This approach can empower the daughter to express her feelings and allow for collaborative decision-making, ultimately strengthening their relationship.

She judged the boy's attitude before even meeting him

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Shutting down the wife's nonsense

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Moreover, establishing boundaries around relationships can help clarify expectations. Research indicates that clear communication about relationship boundaries can lead to healthier dynamics. The father might benefit from discussing the reasons behind his concerns without resorting to ultimatums, focusing instead on mutual respect and understanding.

Psychological Analysis

This behavior reflects a common struggle between parental authority and a child's desire for independence. It's essential for parents to recognize that threats can damage trust and communication, leading to increased resistance from their children. Emphasizing open dialogue and understanding can strengthen family bonds and facilitate healthier outcomes.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

This situation underscores the complexities of parental authority and adolescent autonomy. As noted by Dr. Shefali Tsabary, a renowned parenting expert, "The most effective parenting is not about control but about connection." Understanding the emotional underpinnings of conflicts can foster healthier family dynamics. By prioritizing open communication and mutual respect, parents can create an environment that encourages healthy relationships and emotional growth, as emphasized by Janet Lansbury, a respected parenting educator who states, "When we respect our children, we empower them to express themselves."

Why does OP's wife think that every college girl who dates becomes pregnant? Many Redditors found it to be utterly ridiculous and pure envy for the joy of another person.

A certain Redditor even compared OP's wife to the archetype of the cruel queen in Snow White who was envious of her beauty. The OP was declared the AH, and that's where we draw the curtains.